Black Madness
by DylantheRabbit
Summary: Lock up your daughters Alicia Morgana Black, pureblood princess, lesbian seductress and psychotic murderer is coming to Hogwarts. Slightly AU. Very bad Blacks, grey Dumbles, clueless Harry. Femslash. Probably Alicia/GW but this may evolve later. Rated M due to violent and sexual situations although not explicit and some very bad language. Sorry I am who I am.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 **CHAPTER 1.**

 **Broadwhich Secure Psychiatric Unit, Surrey. 21st December 1994.**

Dr Fordham looked at the small pile of folders on his desk and sighed, he hated this time on a Thursday, a long way into the week and yet not close enough to the weekend to count. Of course it was also time for his weekly evaluation of his least favourite patient and also one of the very few he would regard as an actual inmate. Sighing heavilly again he reluctantly picked up the folder and stared at it; **Alicia Weston**. He wondered again how simply reading her name could make him want to remove his brain and scrub it with a scouring pad before replacing it with that of someone who had never met her. **09.22**. The clock on his desk ticked relentlessly on. She was never late. Ever. It was almost as if she knew that he hated these sessions. That they haunted his dreams. That she scared him witless.

At 43 Dr Jamie Fordham was one of the youngest and most respected specialists in his field of Criminal Psychiatry, he had felt awed and honoured to have been given the job as Head of Psychiatric disorders here at the Broadwhich Secure Unit, and yet that feeling had disappeared very quickly. Alicia Weston. Such a pretty name. Such a pretty girl. Hair so black that it almost shone blue falling in long wavy curls down to the middle of her back, a delicate heart shaped face blessed with fair complexion and porcelain skin. Beautifull, classic, stunnung. But the eyes, those extroadinary eyes, large and expressive and... wrong. One violet. one hazel. both insane. At first he had tried, really tried, not only to understand her but also to help her towards an acceptance of her condition and a possible cure, as was his desire with all of his patients but after a mere two sessions he knew he was far out of his depth.

Alicia Weston functioned perfectly normally most of the time, she was a beautifull, intelligent, sweet natured young woman with lovely manners who held herself with a cool serenity. But as the good doctor had found out rather quickly that was just a veneer. Below the surface there lurked a monster. Alicia may have been serene but Alice was most definitely not. Alice was her alter-ego; a raging, giggling, fun loving, murderous psychopath. And Alice loved being let out to 'play'. It was strange the things that could set her off. Moments of high stress, of course. Someone being a danger to her, naturally. Other girls being treated poorly, well okay, given her treatment at he hands of her adoptive parents that one was sort of understandable. But Rudeness? being impolte? now that was a trigger he simply didn't understand. Some days as simple a thing as not covering one's mouth when coughing could set her off on others you could call her a fucking bitch to her face and she would simply ignore it. Except, he knew, it wouldn't be ignored, it wouldn't be forgotten, it wouldn't be forgiven and it would always be avenged. Even before he had arrived he had heard the rumours of the 'cursed' Broadwhich unit, too many staff members with virulent diseases, too many inmates with unexplained deaths, too many doctors driven to the edge of madness themselves. That is why he was always so carefull around her, always so polite, always so bloody scared.

 **09.30.**

"Good moring Doctor I hope the day is treating you well so far?"

And here she is. Alicia Weston; Schitzophrenic. Sociopath. Murderer. Dangerous Fucking Nutter.

"Good morning Miss Weston and thank-you yes it is. Shall we begin?"

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 21st Decemer 1979.**

Sirius Black was a very lucky dog, this he knew with absolute certainty as he gazed upon his lovely wife Bellatrix and their amazing new daughter asleep in her arms. Alicia Morgana Black. She was perfect. His mother Wallburgia had checked her very carefully, eight fingers, two thumbs, ten tiny toes, one nose, two glorious violet eyes and no glaring physical abnormalities. A grandparents delight. One couldn't be too carefull he and Bella were, after all, first cousins and while not outrageous it was still a little unconventional even among old families like his. But then the name Black was almost synonomous with the word unconventional. It was a beautifull moment in an ugly war and he knew it would soon be time to once again take up arms, their Dark Lord was not a patient man. It had surprised him somewhat that he had been allowed even these moments with his new family but as Voldemort had said, we should take care of these our new born purebloods for they must carry on our work when we are gone. As if the thought were a needle it pricked him to carry the news to his Lord that a new member of the ever loyal House of Black had arrived.

 **Longbotttom Manor. 31st October 1981.**

Their Dark Lord was gone. Defeated by a child. Sirius felt his legendary temper start to build and he let it come, let it consume him. He glanced over at his wife and saw her boucing on the balls of her feet the madness and the rage evident in her strange violet eyes. She leaned over and kissed him fiercely and spat out one word. Vengence.

 **Black Manor, Suffolk 12th November 1981.**

It was a cruel, cold night for a cruel, cold task. As Remus Lupin padded through the home of his former friend and recent enemy he felt sick at what he had been ordered to do tonight for 'The Greater Good'. The mad dog and his insane bitch were both in Azkaban with life sentences what 'Good' would this do? Lupin arrived at the nursery swallowed the bile rising to his throat and entered only to be confronted by a silent toddler looking up at him with large violet eyes and a huge grin on her little face. He knew then that he could not do it, he could not just kill this child because she MIGHT be a danger ONE day. Albus MUST be wrong. Making his decision he carefully wrapped the girl in a thick comforter and apparated straight to St Jude's Orphanage.

 **St Jude's Orphanage, Woking, Surrey. 12th November 1981.**

When the three adults opened the front door to find a heavilly wrapped little girl on the steps they each had differing thoughts. Father Trent thought only to help to the small being who had been dumped in the middle of winter, to warm her, care for her and to love her. Peter Weston simply looked into his wife's hazel coloured eyes and thought; "Finally, our very own little house slave."

 **17 Forest Close, Woking, Surrey. 8th January 1987.**

Peter Weston was not having a good day, his wife was being stroppy again, his boss had belittled him in front of his co-workers and then he had found a scorch mark from an iron on the front of his favourite pastel shirt. He was furious and someone was going to pay. "BRAT ! Daddy is very angry!"

When Alicia finally came to the next morning she didn't undersand why she couldn't focus. The pain in her small body was nothing new, she had taken many 'punishments' over the years but this thing focusing thing was new and frankly quite worrying as her eyesight had always been good. So good in fact that it kept her out of a lot of trouble, noticing lint on daddy's jacket or a speck of grease on the kitchen floor before she could get a beating for it but now she could barely see. This was weird. This was trouble. As she was dragging her injured body to the bathroom she caught a sight of herself in the hallway mirror and stopped dead. Now she knew what was wrong with her eyesight. Daddy had taken her left eye leaving her with a bloody gaping hole in her face where it used to be. BASTARD. For the first time in her short life Alicia felt her heritage coming for her, not that she knew it of course, but still it came. The RAGE. It built... and built...and built... and then with an almost audible crack she snapped.

The little girl stormed through the house screaming her rage for all to hear, her feet not actually touching the ground as she swooped and cried and raged before acknowledging her new seemingly flying situation with a simple "Woah cool" before looking back to her newly arrived adoptive parents with a vicious grin. A single thought later one of June Weston's best carving knives flew from the kitchen straight into her waiting right hand soon to be be joined in her left by a dessert spoon. "What's the spoon for?" said Peter. Alicia just grinned wider, then cackled then started laughing maniacally.

Back at the hallway mirror Alicia Weston was admiring her appearance. Her sleek black hair was wet, her simple white shift was now almost entirely red but her favourite thing about herself was her pretty new hazel left eye. It didn't give her much pause how she had reattached it, she just asked it to and hey presto it was. Like magic. Perhaps the visitors who had just broken down the front door would know how she did it, she'd have to ask. "Police is a funny name. Why do have it written on your jacket?" Alicia asked as the young man looked at the carnage before him and promptly threw up his breakfast on the hallway floor. "Well that was rude" she thought.

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Back at the hallway mirror Alicia Weston was admiring her appearance. Her sleek black hair was wet, her simple white shift was now almost entirely red but her favourite thing about herself was her pretty new hazel left eye. It didn't give her much pause how she had reattached it, she just asked it to and hey presto it was. Like magic. Perhaps the visitors who had just broken down the front door would know how she did it, she'd have to ask. "Police is a funny name. Why do have it written on your jacket?" Alicia asked as the young man looked at the carnage before him and promptly threw up his breakfast on the hallway floor. "Well that was rude" she thought._

 **CHAPTER 2.**

 **Broadwhich Secure Psychiatric Unit. 21st December 1994**

Shall we begin? It was a question that Dr Fordham asked every week even though she knew he longed for the day that she would say no but she never did. It was one of the true pleasures of her life within the assylum, these weekly evaluations allowed her to tease, torment and slowly destroy the mind of the head psychiatrist. Alicia speaking clearly and precisely, politely answering all the questions posed all the while letting 'Alice' embellish and subvert her answers just enough to get those little micro expressions of confusion, fear and disgust to appear on the doctor's face. It was one of her favourite games as it had been with Doctor Brown before him and Doctor Philbrick before that. Today however she just wasn't feeling it. Today it felt old and tired and frankly not very much fun anymore. As she ground her formulaic way through the interview towards it's inevitable climax of the good doctor politely escorting her out before he broke down into tears of frustration, failure and fear at his desk a new thought came to her. Perhaps it was time to get out of here, she knew Alice would appreciate it, new pastures, new people, new ...adventures. Hmm yes, as her funny nutty alter would put it; "Why the fuck not? Let's make a plan."

Alicia spent the next few days being especially sane and nice, chatting up Doctor Julia Hammerton the pretty new intern, being flirty without going too far into the realms of slutty and finally on day number five she got what she was waiting for, 'Jules' had at long last checked her out. Awesome. Okay it was true that Alicia had put a lot of thought into her outfit today, showing just enough to get a reaction without being too obvious but now that the intern had looked she just couldn't seem to look away. Gotcha. Alicia decided that since it was a nice quiet Tuesday evening with no visitors and few staff she would let Alice drive to seal the deal with Jules and then they could get out of here tonight.

Alice loved being in control. Stupid, boring 'Alicia' didn't let her out to play very often, only 22 times in the last 7 fucking years, straightlaced, stuck up, bookworm cunt. But now she was free and their super awesome fun plan meant that not only did she get to break out of a maximum security insane assylum but she also got to fuck a pretty girl and kill some security guards on the way out. "WOO HOO" she yelled as Alice leapt on top of a stunned Doctor Jules, cocking her head to one side, putting the tip of her tongue on the end of her nose saying "Hewo wabbit, wanna play hide the carrot" and cackling like a maniac.

To Doctor Julia Hammerton's eternal embarrassment and shame all she thought was "Holy shit, I am sooo fucking wet right now" and a fun but exhausting hour and a half later her next conscious thought was "Why am I naked in restraints in a padded cell? Oh Fuck."

The rest of Alice's three hour rampage through the 'Secure' unit started and finished in the same manner, running around with a bloody fire-axe howling like a banshee and swinging at anything that moved, now, however, she was standing at the main entrance and she knew that she'd have to let Alicia back behind the wheel if she wanted to remain free. She might be boring but she was a fucking 'vagenius' and the girl did know how to manipulate people and events to their advantage, still shouldn't make it too easy for her eh, she thought as she looked at her 'treasures'.

Alicia sat down heavilly as she regained control. She went to find a mirror in the blood splattered men's room and nearly choked as she saw what she was wearing. A blue tartan skirt, a now red blouse with far too many buttons undone, a school tie and too big combat boots. "Now I'm going to have to find a coat" she grumbled. "maybe there's one in this bag she seems to have left me." There wasn't. There were seven fingers all with expensive looking rings, a pair of lace panties and a severed head. Doctor Fordham's head. "Bloody hell Alice! Oh well waste not want not" she mused as she pried off the rings, and guiltily sniffed the panties. "I wonder if there's time to go back and have another go with Doctor Jules, I'd like to have a go at that myself." She sighed. "No probably not I think I'll just find that coat and get the fuck out of Dodge."

 **The Leaky Cauldron. 28th December 1994**

Twelve. That was how many lecherous old bastards had tried it on with her in the forty five minutes she had been sat in this disgusting pub not counting the crinkly old bar tender. Of course none them could look at her disturbingly malignant eyes for more than a few seconds before they started backing hastilly away. It was a talent she had discovered early on how to make her eyes appear wide and curious or wet and tearfull or naughty and lascivious or just plain nasty, her 'leave me the fuck alone' look as she called it. Why the hell had she even come in this place. She didn't know, she just felt drawn to it and had walked in, then the fireplace had gone green and someone had walked out of it so she figured she'd give it a chance. Noting else interesting had happened and she had just decided to leave when a stern looking woman in tartan _robes?_ approached her.

"Good evening Miss Black I believe it's time we had a chat. Follow me."

"Who?" said Alicia but the woman was heading out to the back room of the pub obviously expecting her to follow. "Oh well" she thought. "She looks pretty good for her age and I could really do with a shag. Bloody Alice, stealing all my birds."

 **Back Room, The Leaky Cauldron. 2 Minutes Later.**

In the back room of the leaky cauldron Minerva MacGonnagal stared into the fire and waited for the young woman to arrive. Albus Dumbledore her friend and Headmaster had told her of the girls sudden reappearance in their world and had requested that she be the one to meet with her and get her settled with her relatives Why he couldn't do it himself was a mystery as all he was doing was playing with that bloody phoenix wheras she had papers to grade and a school to get ready for the new term, but he had insisted and she had aquiesced. As usual. "Silly old fool." she said.

"I don't think you're that old." said a voice behind her. "and I don't know you, obviously, but you don't seem the type to be silly. Soooo. Where's the bed or are we just going to do it on the floor 'cause that can be fun too though the splinters off these floorboards would be a bitch. If that's the case then I get to be on top." And she started to strip.

Minerva stood there for a full minute unable to speak before suddenly going bright red and shouting. "No. Miss...Miss...Miss Black." Her heart rate started to return to somewhere less dangerous for a woman of her age. "We will not be doing THAT. Now please put your clothes back on and take a seat. Over there."

"Sooo we're not going to shag then. Well fuck my luck." huffed the raven haired teen as she pulled up her pants and thumped down in the indicated chair. "Bloody Alice gets all the fun" she thought. "you could always let me out" came the reply. "No!"

"No what? Miss Black and could you please put your shirt on, those are very...distracting."

"I'll put it on if you tell me why you keep calling me that. My name's Weston. Alicia Weston."

Minerva pinched the bridge of nose and let out an exasperated sigh. So that's why Albus didn't want to do it. The girl knew literally nothing. not even her own name. She would be having words with the headmaster when she returned to Hogwarts. "No dear, that is the name of your adoptive parents. Your real name, that is to say your birth name is Black. Alicia Morgana Black."

"Ooh that's pretty. Soooo now ithat I'm Alicia Black...can we fuck now?"

The deputy headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry let out another sigh. This was going to be a very long day.

 **My thanks to the makers of the movie 'Eulogy' for the term "vagenius" an amalgam of the words vagina and genius. Love it.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Minerva pinched the bridge of nose and let out an exasperated sigh. So that's why Albus didn't want to do it. The girl knew literally nothing. not even her own name. She would be having words with the headmaster when she returned to Hogwarts. "No dear, that is the name of your adoptive parents. Your real name, that is to say your birth name is Black. Alicia Morgana Black."_

 _"Ooh that's pretty. Soooo now that I'm Alicia Black...can we fuck now?"_

 _The deputy headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry let out another sigh. This was going to be a very long day._

 **CHAPTER 3**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 28th December 1994**

The rest of the day had gone about how Minerva had imagined it would after her brief first chat with Alicia Black. She had informed the girl that yes there was such a thing as magic and yes she was a witch, told her of the school and her position within it, told her she would be getting a letter in the coming months and given her the options for choosing or not as the case may be to attend next year. This complete she had apparated them both to the Tonks' cottage handed her over to Andromeda and as soon as it was polite had gotten the hell out of there and back to her cosy study before the girl could do any more damage to her heart or her reputation. Although there was a point there in that squallid back room at the Leaky Cauldron staring at the stunningly gorgeous teenager standing there butt naked asking if she wanted to...you know, where she had almost been tempted. Almost.

"Silly old fool" she smiled to herself. "Right, now let's deal with the other old fool."

To her Albus Dumbledore was a legend. The man had been a beacon to the 'Light' for many years and rightly so having not just survived but actually despatched not one but two Dark Lords, but right now he was a lazy, cowardly old git and he was going to get a piece of her mind. "Why the hell didn't you tell me she was clueless Albus."

"I think 'clueless' is a bit strong Minerva from what I understand that young woman has an extremely active and ingenious mind. I'm still a little stumped how she even managed to find the Leaky Cauldron."

"Her mind isn't the only thing that's 'active and ingenious'. Albus she's a bloody nightmare you cannot be serious about her coming here next year, I'm incredibly fearful for the virtue of the females in this castle, and I'm not just talking about the students."

Albus looked confused. "Oh?" Then a smile pulled at his lips as he understood. "Ohhhh. Now I get it. Well honestly Minerva you're still a fine looking woman and it's not like it's the first time a student has had a crush on you is it? I think Miss Granger still carries a torch so to speak."

"This was not some schoolgirl crush Albus. She was standing there naked as the day she was born asking if we could...and then who was going to be on top...and what was going where...and if you start laughing at me I'm going to hex you right in the balls!"

He managed to stop himself. If asked he would say it was because she was his friend and a respected colleague who had been through a troubling and embarrassing situation. But he also knew that she really would hex him 'right in the balls'. "I'm sure it will all be fine Minerva". He actually said. "The place could use a little livening up."

"Well don't come running to me when you've got Irate fathers and the board of governors screaming about their 'defiled' daughters and deviant teachers all year." And so saying off she stomped off to find that bottle of Lagavullin she'd hidden last month.

When he'd finished laughing to himself Albus decided he really should call Remus Lupin and thank him for not carrying out his orders that night so long ago. That thought sobered him pretty quickly. He knew he should never have done it, whatever the girls parents had done she herself was blameless, it was a moment of weakness and anger on his part and he was truly sorry for placing his friend in that position. To ask a man of Remus' morals to kill an innocent child was a terrible thing to do and though he had apologised for it many times he still did not feel it was enough. Still, now he could make it up to the girl herself, well that and thank her for a most enjoyable afternoons mischief at his deputy's expense.

 **Tonks Residence, Dorset. 31st December 1994**

Andromeda Tonks nee Black was thinking that MacGonnagal had the right idea when she all but dumped her neice on her doorstep and ran. The girl was, let's say, a handfull. Alicia had within the first four hours of her arrival goosed her twice, openly propositioned her three times and then flirted with her outrageously all in front of her extremely amused husband who actually laughed on more than one occasion. Then her daughter got home and things escalated, although in hindsight she probably shouldn't have pointed Alicia at her and said "There she's more your age and her name's Nymphadora. Go nuts." In the next ten or so hours the elder Tonks' were treated to a barrage of noise. Crashes and bangs, shouting and screaming, moaning and wilder screaming. Finally after hearing their daughter calling to an unknown deity, who surely must be deaf by now, for the fifth time that night, at Three in the morning Ted Tonks had thrown a bottle of firewhiskey in their room, locked the door and hit it with the strongest silencing charm he knew.

After that little episode Andromeda had decided that she had had enough and so the next afternoon when the two dishevelled girls finally arrived downstairs she went into full 'Black Princess' mode. Nymphadora _would_ return to work immediately after a very late lunch and Alicia _would_ learn to comport herself with the decorum that her name demanded. Lessons started now. Lessons in her family history. Lessons in etiquette. Lessons in speechcraft.

"No no no, for Merlin's sake Alicia you're going to be the head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, one of the founding thirteen families, you simply cannot go about using language that would embarrass a sailor on shore leave no matter how pretilly you say it." Honestly she was beginning to think teaching the girl to speak properly was a mistake. Even without the swearing Alicia managed to imbue the most innocent of words with such inflection that they sounded positively filthy. Ah well can't give up now the glory of the House must preserved although she wondered why she thought this since they had unceremoniously kicked her out years ago for marrying Ted was a mystery to her.

"Aunt Andromeda" Alicia's small voice pulled her out of her thoughts and memories.

"Yes dear."

"What did you mean when you said I would be the head of the House of Black?"

"Ah. Yes. Well. The fact is that with your Grandparents dead and your Mother and Father in Azkaban you are the next in line and we need to get you inheritance tested and in place before the Ministry declares the family defunct. And on a related matter I need to ask you about your intentions towards Nymphadora."

"Oh that's easy I intend to fu..."

"Yes thank-you Alicia. What I meant is that once you are confirmed as Head of House you can't simply go around...doing that... without some kind of commttment or you will ruin the reputation of whover you're ...doing it... with, that is if they're even half way respectable."

"So what you're saying is that once I'm Head of House Black I can't shag Nym without marrying her." Her Aunt nodded her assent. "Well that just sucks big hairy troll balls. I don't suppose I can put off the whole becoming head thing for a few years can I?"

"Not if you want the House to survive no. And if you did want to continue with her you would face some pretty serious opposition, because of the first cousins thing rather than the two girls thing. Your parents had a hell of a fight to be accepted."

"Cocking fucking arsebastards." The muttering ravenette suddenly sighed. "Oh well at least we'll have tonight."

"Just remember the silencing charms tonight would you Love." Andromeda indulgently patted the the young woman on her cheek and smiled. "Now. Back to work."

Alicia was already tuning her out and thinkng about the coming night. She would get to give Nym her New Year's kiss. And then she'd give her a New Year's 'fuck my brains out'. And she would remember the silencing thingumy. Probably.

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Alicia was already tuning her out and thinkng about the coming night. She would get to give Nym her New Year's kiss. And then she'd give her a New Year's 'fuck my brains out'. And she would remember the silencing thingumy. Probably._

 **CHAPTER 4.**

 **Tonks' Residence, Dorset. 1st January 1995.**

Alicia was feeling odd. Not a bad odd, just...odd. Since she had walked into the Leaky Cauldron few days ago and learned about magic (and failed to shag that foxy old teacher) her relationship with her alter-ego had been changing. It was subtle at first, just a few of Alice's thoughts and funnier sayings slipping into her mind and out of her mouth, an increase in her sex drive (that was actually fun) things like that This morning, however, she had been reading one of Aunt Andi's books on Goblin customs and how to deal with the nasty fuckers when she had ever thought to herself; "I'm bored, who can I kill for fun around here." That brought her up sharp. She was still the sweet, polite, clever little bookworm she'd always been but that thing about killing people, that was all Alice. Actually when she thought about it the kind of language she had been using recently was more Alice too. Perhaps the two of them were...synchronising...merging. She considered this carefully before cackling madly and falling off her chair tears streaming down her face. Oh this would be fun; Alicia's manipulative smarts together with Alice's psychotic temper and sex drive? Fuck yeah. Fun didn't even begin to describe it, plus she'd always been a little jealous of the name. Alice Black. Cool fucking beans.

 **Gringotts Bank. 1st January 1995**

"You're supposed to come alone alone human." Ironclaw the head of the Inheritance Testing Division at Gringotts was not amused. Damned wizards were always trying to circumvent the rules and just becuse this one was a teenage girl she thought that he'd let her get away with it. She obviously didn't know who she was dealing with. He noticed with an extreme lack of interest her eyes starting to tear up and although they were fascinating he was not buying it. "That won't help you either girl." he croaked.

"Fine." she said cheerily as she let her eyes twinkle back into mirth and cast a glance at her Uncle. "I just wanted my Uncle and family solicitor with me in case you tried to screw me out of my inheritance. But if you'd like we can leave and the Ministry can claim the vault next month." They started to leave.

"Wait." The goblin now had to weigh up the seriousness of her threat to leave against the fact that if the Ministry did claim the vault the vast wealth of the Black fortune all the charges and interest due upon it would be gone. He looked with renewed interest at the girl, at her feral grin then back to those mismatched eyes full of glee, full of... insanity. Bugger, she might very well do it just on a whim to spite him. Ironclaw sighed in defeat, his superiors would not look kindly on this breach of protocol but they would look even less kindly on him losing a fortune of the magnitude that was on the table here. "Very well let's just get on with it then, shall we."

"Okay" chirped the young heiress and picked up the blood quill.

Twenty boring paperwork filled minutes and one very exciting cart ride later and the Lady Alicia Morgana Black, Head of the the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black stood in the middle of a huge vault tossing around some awesome looking folding knives and reading a ledger of Black family property. "What the fuck is a Kreacher?" she asked no-one in particular as a soft pop came from beside her. The blade was at his throat instantly but it didn't seem to phase the funny looking batlike humanoid at all.

"Mistress called Kreacher?"

"Um...no offense like, but what are you?"

"Kreacher is a house elf mistress. More specifically Kreacher is your house elf, Milady."

"Oh...'kay then." The knife was folded and back up her sleeve in an instant. Kreacher breathed a sigh of relief, his new mistress was powerful he could tell that but she also had more than a whiff of Miss Bella's madness about her and that meant he must be careful around her. The Blacks were all a little _temperemental_ but their extroadinary power more than made up for the unpredictability and danger of sudden death. He decided to shelve his default 'grumpy old bastard' style of service to bond on a more 'helpful funny sidekick' level with the barely restrained lunatic that was the current Lady Black.

"So where did you come from, anyway, Batty Man"

Kreacher decided to take a chance and try out his new persona with a joke. "Well mistress when a mummy elf and a daddy elf love each other very much..." Success. He had made her laugh, such a sweet tinkling sound that filled his old heart with joy and he knew that he would do anything to hear that again. "I came from Grimmuald Place mistress, the London home of the House of Black. Your home Milady."

"You can just call me Alice you know."

"No Milady I really can't"

"Well this 'Milady' business is going to get really old really fucking quick. We sound like we're in an episode of Thunderbirds."

Kreacher looked confused. "So you want me to call me something other than 'Milady', Milady." At her nod he tried again. "Mistress Alice?" A scowl. No then. "Lady Alice?" A wince, then a scowl. "Missy...no...Miss Alice? A sigh and a reluctant nod. Ha, Kreacher for the win.

"I suppose that's as good as it's going to get. Right Kreach, I promised Auntie I'd get a wand and some 'respectable' clothes today. So saddle up 'cause we're going shopping. Yeah." It didn't even sound convincing to her.

"If I might propose an alternative plan Miss Alice, since you seem somewhat _reluctant_ to go with that one." and for the first time in decades Kreacher grinned as his mistress cocked her head and did the same. He had always loved serving the Blacks but now it seemed like for the first time in his life actual fun might be on the cards. Shyly reaching out he took Miss Alice by the hand and apparated them home.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 12th January 1995.**

None of the Tonks family were feeling particularly relaxed about the situation as they flooed into the reception room at Grimmuald Place, this was after all the location of Andromeda's expulsion from the House of Black all those years ago. But Alicia had requested their presence as Head of House and they couldn't refuse, besides quite honestly they had all missed the lively young woman. She may be a certifiable lunatic with the sexual morals of an alley cat who used more bad language than any of them had ever heard, but she had still managed to worm her way into their affections. Some more than others if Nymphadora's tapping feet and clenched hands were to be believed.

"Kreacher!" The girl in question burst into the room obviously in a bit of a snit. "If you stole my stick again I'm going to pull your ears over your face and nail them your fucking nose you annoying little cu...Oh hello Auntie, Uncle Ted, Nym."

"Is that one of your mother's outfits? I don't remember them being quite so bright." Andromeda remarked. It did look like one of Bella's cut just too short and just too low to be on the right side of respectable with her trademark leather corset and tall heeled boots but the colour was just all wrong. Bella like all the women in her family wore black. All black. All the time. Alicia it seemed was different. True the boots and corset were still black but the dress itself was quartered like a harlequin's suit and coloured navy blue and scarlet. A pair of mis-matched fingerless elbow gloves, heavy dark eye makeup and a leather choker completed her strange ensemble. It was like the young woman herself. Distinctive and definitely odd but it worked.

"Hmm. Oh yeah Kreach and I found them in one of the bedrooms, they were a bit dull so I jazzed them up a bit with my...KREACHER. WHERES MY FUCKING STICK!"

"Your _wand_ Miss Alice, was in the bathroom. Where you left it. _Milady._ " Kreacher handed her the offending object with a smirk and bowed to their guests. "Now that Miss Alice seems to be ready, if you would follow me to the study."

Once They were all seated in the Head's study Kreacher handed each of the three Tonks' a piece of parchment and a blood quill and instructed to to read and then sign while Alice bounced lightly in her large chair grinning excitedly. Andromeda's eyes started tear up as she read the simple but never the less extraodinary document in front of her; _This is to confirm that Andromeda (Theodore) (Nymphadora) Tonks is to be legally accepted as a full member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black with all the rights and responsibilities therein and will permitted to take the name of Black if it is their wish to do so. Signed. Lady Alicia Morgana Black, Head of House._

"Alicia. What have you done?"

"It's Alice and I've brought my family back where they belong. I've brought you home. If that's what you want."

Trying not to cry on it Andomeda signed and nodded at her husband and daughter to do the same as she felt the familiar pinch of the Black family ring on her right index finger.

"Welcome home Andromeda Black."

"Milady Alice."

"Oh hell no, it took me long enough to get Kreach to stop calling me that. I am not going through that again. We're family and I'm Alice. Just Alice okay Aunt Andi?"

"Allright. Alice." She kissed her niece on the forehead and smiled at the girls wide cheeky grin.

"Okay then let's get you lot of reprobates added to the tapestry shall we."

 **The Daily Prophet 8th February 1995.**

 _The Return of The Blacks_

 _by Rita Skeeter_

 _Ever since the imprisonent of Sirius and Bellatrix Black in the war against You Know Who, the influence of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black has degraded to almost nothing. Indeed this trend had started even before the death of Wallburgia Black nearly seven years ago. But in an extraordinary turn of events it appears that an heir has been found and indeed has claimed the title of Lady Black at the break of the new year. It now seems that he new Head of that House the Lady Alicia Morgana Black is dead set on resurrecting her House to it's former glory with the induction of three new members and the setting up of business arrangements with both the Greengrass and Davis families, as well as some heavy investment in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade._

 _To add to the furore over their re-establishment the Black family indulged in an outing to Proudey's bistro last night where, these, the first pictures of Lady Alicia were taken by our intrepid on the spot photographer._

 _We at The Prophet would like to give our best wishes to this energetic young woman and hope that she continues to make strides in forwarding the glory of the House of Black, after all they are one of the founding thirteen._

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcaft and Wizardry, 8th February 1995.**

"Pass the salt please Gin. Gin. Ginny! Pass the salt." Ginevra 'Ginny' Weasley absently pushed the salt cellar towards her bushy haired friend without looking at her. All her attention was on the newspaper in front of her gazing at the picture, lost in the image of the stunning young woman in the odd dress twirling, smiling and laughing before stopping to seemingly look straight into the camera, straight into heart and giving a cheeky wink. Oh my she thought that is just incredibly inconvenient, as her heart felt like it would explode and she drenched her panties. Ginny was in love.

 **Malfoy Manor. 8th February 1995.**

Narcissa Malfoy was amused and more than a little confused. She had read the Prophet's piece on the new Lady Black with interest, she was a Black and her niece was the new Head of House, why wouldn't she. The amusement came from the fact that Draco's claim to her old House was now well and truly over had gotten both her son and husband in a foul mood. Always funny. But that wasn't what had her confused. No it was the picture. For one her nieces eyes were very different to how she remembered them. Well the left one was anyway. For another she could swear that her blood traitor sister, mudblood husband and her disgusting spawn were in the picture but that was impossible. Wasn't it? Damn, now she was going to have to visit Grimmuald Place, a place she hated, and find out what the hell was going on. She drew a piece of parchment and a quill towards her and began to plan how she would manipulate a way to an invitation to tea with the Blacks.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 12th February 1995.**

The last few days had been exhausting for Alice what with studying and training with Nym for her entrance exams for Hogwarts and her continued training in comportment, etiquette and now politics with Aunt Andi, she was tired. And it wasn't as if she could relax by shagging Nym anymore since their decision to just be cousins and best friends. Alice was tired and she was grumpy and she was really not in the mood for.

"Family correspondence."

"Not you too Uncle Ted, you're the family solicitor can't you just take care of it."

"These are formal requests for business discussions and invitations to social functions from almost every Noble family in the country, written by their Head's of House and they demand a personal response. By you I'm afraid dear."

"Fuck."

"Quite" said her Aunt joining them. She had all but given up trying to regulate Alice's language thinking if she said it nicely enough perhaps people would simply think they had misheard her. "Although this one is interesting your Aunt Narcissa sends her best wishes. She's probably building up to wangling an invite for tea but it will take her a week or so and several more communications I would guess."

"Bollocks to that let's just invite her over now."

"Merlin's arse girl you really have no sense of decorum at all do you. Still I suppose it would put her off her stride a little. Narcissa doesn't do straightforward."

"Auntie did you really just say 'Merlins arse' ? I think I'm rubbing off on you." Alice grinned wickedly. "So to speak" and gave her a wink.

"Shut up" Andromeda Black blushed beet red. "Let's just write the invitation to my 'dear sister' shall we. And you two can zip it as well." She growled at her husband and daughter.

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"Shut up" Andromeda Black blushed beet red. "Let's just write the invitation to my 'dear sister' shall we. And you two can zip it as well." She growled at her husband and daughter._

 **CHAPTER 5.**

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 14th February 1995.**

The house was in an uproar. Owls of every size, shape and colour had started arriving at breakfast and simply hadn't stopped. All day. Nym apologised and quickly headed out, Ted, who wasn't keen on the birds anyway had locked himself in the bathroom to work, Kreacher was running around with a mop trying to deal with all the owl shit which just left Andromeda and her hyperactive niece to deal with the post. They had had to put the post in the Library eventually after it threatened to spill out of Alice's study though the Lady Black, herself had done the actual moving with a quick 'area of effect' summoning spell that Nym had taught her the other day. It amazed the older woman how fast Alice picked up spells considering her lack of education, magical or otherwise.

The young woman's confession about her time with the Weston's and subsequent imprisonment had followed their first enquiry about where she had gone to school and had starting with her shuffling her feet and saying "Um so yeah about that, I really need to tell you guys something." Which she had in lurid, disgusting and sometimes downright funny detail. She had left out nothing or at least Andromeda hoped she had because abuse, murder, insanity and a prison break involving more murder was, frankly, disturbing enough. Her family's shocked expressions had been enough for the girl's lip to start trembling but when Kreacher had held her hand and glared fiercely at them the other Blacks flew into action surrounding their niece/cousin, holding and kissing her and telling her it would all be fine, that they would never leave her. Family first, family always. No matter what.

It had to be acknowledged that although Alice picked up spells easilly she hadn't quite mastered this one yet as she squeaked incoherently from under the huge pile of letters, notes and parcels. Emerging triumphantly the teen-nutter yelled. "Free at last. That summoning thingy could have gone better though, I'll have to put in more practice with Granny Wal's stick. Hang on why am I fucking pink."

"Fiistly dear please stop calling it a stick it's a wand, it's also somewhat sentient so you need to treat it nicely or it won't work. Secondly if you're referring to your Grandmother Wallburgia don't ever let her portrait hear you call her that, she always was a bit _tetchy_. Thirdly you're pink because those are valentines and some of them have spells on."

"Valentines? Coool."

"Yes valentines. I'm afraid that after that piece in the paper and then your 'performance' at the Greengrass' Ball the other night, you seem to have become the new darling of the wizarding world. Congratulations. This" she swept her arm across the large pile of parcels "is your reward. Now hold still while I sort out the 'safe' ones."

"What performance Auntie? Oh do you mean when I danced with that Veela girl?"

"Alice that was not a dance, that was a highly stylized sexual assault in time to music. I'm still not sure how you didn't get arrested." And there it was, the cocked head and psychotic grin that were fast becoming Andromeda's favourite expression on her mentally disturbed Head of House. "There now, these are safe and those are laced with love potions and 'other' curses."

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. Later that day.**

Despite the fun of the whole Valentines Day gifts episode (she was particularly pleased with the bright pink loveheart pendant for her choker from someone signed as G.W) Alice was uneasy...and bored...and frustrated. Which was why she was in the kitchen playing with a silver knife and bothering her cuddly little 'Batty Man'.

"Kreach?"

At last. Kreacher thought. Not that he didn't enjoy his mistress' company but she could be terribly distracting when he was trying to work. "Yes Miss Alice?"

"If, hypothetically speaking I...I mean _someone_ wanted to go out and kill some people...I mean _things_ where do you think that I...I mean _they_ could hypothetically go and do that without getting you know locked up and embarrassing their family."

Kreacher appeared to mull this over for a while before looking pointedly at the solid sliver knife in her hand. "Well Miss Alice, there's always the werewloves. Feynrir Greyback's pack has been terrorising the country for years if _someone_ decided to start taking them out, well that would just be a civic duty. Far from being locked up for it they might even get a medal." He looked at his mistress who was now bouncing up and down in her chair positvely glowing with excitement and busily transfiguring her cutlery into a hand axe and a dagger. "Of course we would have to do this on the full moon."

"Oh pooh. Wait when is that?"

"I'll fetch our coats Miss Alice." He grinned. "And one of your Grandfather's crossbows." The mistress cackled madly at that and then put a delicate finger to her lips.

"Shhhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting werewolves."

 **Diagon Alley, London. 2nd June 1995.**

This wasn't how the afternoon was supposed to go. He was supposed to have cornered that annoying little brat who had been murdering and dismembering the members of his pack in a variety of increasingly gruesome and bloody ways, then beaten her and raped her before finally tearing her throat out. It hadn't quite gone according to plan. After finding his quarry walking alone in Diagon Alley his initial 'change and charge' technique deisigned to stun his opponent before moving in for the kill, had missed. He was incensed. He never missed. Never. The second charge didn't just miss it saw him pinned against the side of a building with four silver spikes through his limbs, and now bouncing and skipping towards him came his teenage captor and her bloody strange elf.

"Hewo Wabbit."

Fear came to Feynrir Greyback's mind for the first time since he had met that evil bastard Voldemort, as the clearly insane girl in the mad dress stalked over pulling a silver meat cleaver from who knows where. A baying crowd had started to gather and was now egging her on, not that she seemed to need the encouragement. No, this was most assuredly not how this afternoon was supposed to go.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 6th June 1995.**

Nervous was how Penelope Clearwater would probably describe her mental state this morning. Extremely bloody nervous. This was her first feature for Witch Weekly and she was only doing it because everyone else at the office was busy with the aftermath of the Tri Wizard Tournament. It didn't help that there was no photogragher availlable for today so she was going to have to take the pictures as well. Then of course there was the subject of her piece Lady Alicia Black. Mysterious and beautifull, werewolf hunter extraordinaire, slayer of Feynrir Greyback and the frenzied wet dream of every 'witches witch' in Europe. Including herself. Yes 'nervous' was definitely the word. Penny tried to soothe herself by luxuriating in the feel of the fluffy grey rug at her feet.

"Do you like it? It was a bastard of a job getting it off him."

Penny snatched her hand away realising just who's skin this 'rug' was and shooting to her feet tripped over dropping parchment quills and camera and fell headlong right into the soft fragrant cleaveage of Lady Black. "Mmmmmph."

"What an interesting introduction, I don't think I've ever meen 'motorboated' without at least exchanging names before."

"I'm sooo sorry Milady. Umm. Penelope Clearwater, Witch Weekly." muttered the now bright red reporter.

"Oh please don't apologise Penelope, it makes a nice change from all those boring handshakes and do call me Alice I think we're at least on first name terms by don't you?"

"Thank-you Lady Alice, you're very generous."

"Just Alice, Penny love, the whole 'Lady' thing gets very tiresome. Besides I'm _really_ not much of a _lady_." The mischievious teenager then cocked her head, licked her oh so red lips and gave her a wink.

Penny blushed and dropped her quills again. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. Come on Penny what hapened to cool and professional. You can do this.

She couldn't.

 **Offices of Witch Weekly. 7th June 1995.**

"Well done Penny it's a fabulous piece and the photos are wonderfull, I shall certainly be sending you out on assignment more often if this is any indication of the quality of your work."

The editor's praise given in front of all her colleagues made Penny blush again although not as much as she had this morning when she woke naked and sore in Alice Black's four poster bed with her head inbetween the teenagers full breasts. Again.

Her interview with the Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House had gotten off to a shaky start and then rapidly descended into a flirty, giggling nightmare that ended up with the pair of them stark naked and shagging in every room in 12 Grimmuald Place. She didn't think she would ever get over peering over Alice's shoulder to see a resigned looking Andromeda Black's face and hearing the older woman's "Alice for Merlin's sake can't you use your own room for that love." Needless to say the piece she had sumitted to her editor had been a marvelous bit of creative writing, she just hoped that the Lady in question wouldn't mind her taking certain liberties with their brief conversation. Her editor was right in one respect though the pictures were fabulous, it was just a shame she hadn't taken them due to her hands shaking too much. Penny wondered if she could persuade Kreacher to come out on assignment with her in the future, the strange little elf had a real talent for photographic compostion.

In all it had been a wonderfull, magical day/night and one she would happily revisit but even if that didn't happen she still had some great memories as well as some of the 'candid' pictures Kreacher had surprisingly taken for her own personal 'wank bank'. But right now she needed a long bath and about 14 hours sleep not to mention trying to get this big, silly grin off her face.

 **The Burrow, Ottery St Catchpole. 11th June 1995.**

"Would you be a dear and help me with the dinner Ginevra"

"Of course mum, anything you say." Molly Weasley looked suspiciously at her daughter. In weather like this you usually had to physically drag the girl off that damned broom but all day today she had been skipping around the house, smiling and helping with every little job availlable. If she didn't know better she would think that girl was in love. "Oh no. Harry Bloody Potter, you haven't." She would kill him.

Dinner was a tense affair for everyone involved as Molly was obviously in a foul mood, so Fred and George decided to lighten things up by teasing their sister a bit. Well, a lot.

"So Gin Gin how much of last night did you spend mooning over your Witch Weekly?"

Ginny froze. Did they know or were they just guessing. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean George." she answered demurely.

"Come on Gin Gin we saw the photos, she was wearing that pink heart pendant you got her for Valentine's." Fred joined in.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. No.

"Who are you talking about?" a dazed Molly suddenly asked her heart dropping as she suddenly processed the 'She' was wearing part. Silently pleading for Fred to have made a mistake, to have meant 'he'. It's not like she hadn't seen the clues to her only daughters sexuality it just worried her that her life would be made harder by it so she did what she had always done and ignored it. George, however, brought her delusions crashing down around her ears.

"Alicia Black. There was a two page spread on her in Gin Gin's Witch Weekly. She only got it yesterday and I'm surprised she hasn't worn it out already the amount she's been staring at it."

"Or her fingers." quipped his twin brother. They high fived, laughing.

"Fuck off, I hate you." Ginny yelled as she ran to the safety of her bedroom.

Okay so now it was really tense. "Is there any dessert." asked Ron, blushing. The twins sighed as Molly glared, you could always rely on their little brother's stomach to make things worse.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 31st August 1995.**

The Black's shared their last dinner with Alice before she left for Hogwarts in the kitchen with even Kreacher joining them, much to his embarrassment, but Alice had insisted that this was family time and he was one of them. The affair was a little subdued and the conversation forced at first but the youngest member of their weird little train wreck of a family soon livened things up with her infectious, irreverent humour. She had breezed through her entrance exams, with Nym's help, and her interview which much to her disappointment wasn't with 'Foxy' MacGonnagal (apparently she had a prior engagement and couldn't or wouldn't be persuaded to change it) but a strange little man called Flitwick who seemed very pleased with her.

"Honestly Uncle Ted, what makes you think I'm going to need legal advice."

"Maybe because you're a borderline psychopath whose two favourite occupations are shagging and killing stuff." Nym answered for him. "We've actually got a book running on how long it's going to take for Dad to be called up there to smooth some Noble father's feathers after you've either defiled his daughter or murdered his son in an honour duel."

"Kreacher has ten sickles on twenty four days Miss Alice if you would bear that in mind. Although I thinks it much more likely that Miss will blow up part or all of the school first but nasty Miss Nym wouldn't let me place that bet."

The whole table stopped and stared at the kooky elf before erupting in laughter.

"Oh Kreach, you do know me so well." Alice giggled as she mouthed to him silently "twenty four days" and gave a wink and a thumbs up. Her Aunt pretended not to notice.

 **I Love Elmer Fudd, I was always rooting for him to catch that annoying bastard Bugs.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"Kreacher has ten sickles on twenty four days Miss Alice if you would bear that in mind. Although I thinks it much more likely that Miss will blow up part or all of the school first but nasty Miss Nym wouldn't let me place that bet."_

 _The whole table stopped and stared at the kooky elf before erupting in laughter._

 _"Oh Kreach, you do know me so well." Alice giggled as she mouthed to him silently "twenty four days" and gave a wink and a thumbs up. Her Aunt pretended not to notice._

 **CHAPTER 6.**

 **Plaform 9 3/4, Kings Cross. 1st September 1995.**

For the first time in many long years the Black family made their entrance onto the Platform for the Hogwarts Express. It did not go un-noticed. Mostly due to the loud, colourful lunatic bouncing up and down on the spot pointing at the train and shouting.

"Wow, That is sooo fucking cool! Uncle Ted, uncle Ted do you think I've got enough money to buy one of those."

"You'd be bored with it in a week." replied Nym. "You know you can just apparate to get where you want to go, right"

"Well yeah, but it's so red and shiny."

Nym shook her head and sighed. Seriously interacting with Alice in this mood was like dealing with a three year old on a sugar rush. Oh wonderful and now here come the Malfoys, this should be interesting.

Narcissa walked up to her niece and held out her hand. "Good morning Lady Black, how lovely to see you again. You're as colourful as ever I see" She had actually been looking forward to meeting with the strange girl again since their tea party in February, which had been shared with her estranged sister, her family and two large stuffed bunnies. She had adored her brutal honesty and quirkiness instantly, though she wasn't sure Draco was going to have the same reaction. He was all his father's son after all. Luckily Lucius wasn't here today, as the girl's first action in regard to his heir was not exactly positive.

"I don't think I like you." she told Draco and grinned as she kicked him square in the nuts. "Hi Aunt Cissy, did you see the train isn't it brilliant."

"Yes it's quite lovely Alice, though I wouldn't recommend buying one as the upkeep costs can be crippling. Speaking of which...why don't you go and find your friends Draco I'm sure they're waiting for you on the train." She smiled as her son limped away scowling. "How about you dear, do you have anyone to share the ride with."

"Daph and Tori Greengrass are over there so I'll probably just sit with them but they both like boys so it won't be that much fun."

"Well it's a long ride I'm sure you can find something to blow up."

"Dear Merlin Narcissa she really doesn't need any more encouragement." Andromeda caught her sister's eye. They weren't overly friendly yet but that may come now that her social situation had improved somewhat. "Now Alice love have fun at school and do try not to get expelled too quickly, alright."

"Okay Auntie, love you bye." The excitable teen-nutter shared a hug with everyone including a surprised but pleased Narcissa and headed for the Greengrass girls. The adventure was on.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts Castle. That evening.**

Ginny Weasley's day had not gone well so far. What with her mother's lecture on sex and how not to have it too early and her brothers' and Harry's constant teasing her only refuge had been Hermione. Had been. After her extreme and spirited defense of Alicia Black's character folowing Ron's assertion that she was a 'fucking insane nutter and a dark witch' Hermione had then turned to her and said "Oh my god you have such a massive girl boner for her." Bushy haired Bitch. All that combined with fact that the object of her affections hadn't exited the carriage she'd shared with those Greengrass bitches for the whole train journey and she'd got a massive strop-on. Since then she had retreated into a rather grumpy silence.

But now things were looking up. The headmaster had gone though his usual spiel, death and danger, new teachers, yadda yadda, the hat had sung it's bloody awfull song and the firsties had been sorted and now SHE was coming. Ginny had no illusions that the super smart girl would end up in her house but at least she'd get to see her up close and worship her in the same building. Ginny stilled as Professor MacGonnagal stepped to the podium.

"Before we eat there is one last new student to sort. It has been nearly fifty years since Hogwarts has seen the Head of a Noble and Most Ancient House on it's roster let alone one the founding thirteen and I hope I can count on all of you to behave appropriately and treat her with the courtesy and respect she deserves." Here the Deputy Headmistress was seen to wince slightly. "Please welcome to our school Lady Alicia Morgana Black."

The hall erupted in a barrage of applause, cheers and wolf whistles as the young lady in question glided serenely to the stage and sat on the low stool. Those who were paying attention, and none paid more than Ginny, noticed that the hat was only on head for seconds before leaping into MacGonnagals arms screaming "Gryffindor." and trying to hide behind her. As her crush headed to their table and a melodious voice beside her asked "Ello Red mind if sit here?" Ginny's shredded nerves decided they'd had quite enough for one day and she passed out.

 **Gryffindor Common Room, Hogwarts Castle. Even Later.**

Having fallen asleep on the train due to a restless night and the morning's over excitement Alice was feeling particularly well rested and content just now, sitting on a sofa in the surprisingly comfortable common room. She had enjoyed her first taste of life in the castle more or less. The less was that fucking moth-eaten hat getting all pissy just because she wanted to go to the house that wore the red robes, she liked red, but once she had explained her idea of how to use a bottle of MacGonnagal's whisky and a blow torch it had seemed to agree that she was , in fact, a Gryffindor girl. The more was the food and the pretty redhead asleep in her lap. Alice had felt the redhead's gaze almost the instant she had entered the hall and since she was staring at her like it was Christmas and she was the last turkey in the shop she was gifted another reason to head for the red robed house. Then as she leant down to ask if she could sit next to the girl, she just passed out. As first impressions go she would admit she had made better, but she had shrugged and made the best of it, lifting the girl's head off the table and into her lap Alice finished meal and then with the help of lightening and sticking charms carried her to the common room. There she had resumed their position, albeit more comfortably, on the sofa where they were now. She felt the girl shift on her lap and looked down into her clear caramel eyes.

"Hello Red, are you at least going to tell me your name before you pass out this time."

"Mmm. Gi...Gin...Ginny Weasley."

"Ginny Weasley. Would you like me to take you to bed now Ginny? Oh fuck beans not again."

 **4th Year Girls Dormitory, Gryffindor Tower. 2nd September 1995.**

Ginny woke and sat up slowly, Merlin she was cold. "Why am I naked."

"Because Alicia Black took your clothes off you and put you to bed last night while you were passed out." Jennifer Sothern's voice came from outside her bed curtains.

"Oh. Ohhhh. Oh Merlin no, I'm so embarrassed."

"For what it's worth Gin she seemed to like what she saw, if you know what I mean." Jennifer loved to tease Ginny, she had ever since their second year when she realised that Ginny liked girls, today however she wasn't teasing. The Black girl had looked at her room mate with what could only be described as barely restrained hunger in her odd eyes. She saw a bright fun filled future for Ginny Weasley.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts Castle. 2nd September 1995.**

When Ginny entered the great hall for breakfast the first person she saw sitting on her own in the middle of the Gryffindor table, picking daintilly at her food, was the last person she wanted to see. Alicia Black. Gathering her courage the redhead walked over and sat down directly opposite her.

"Good morning Ginny." she said without looking up.

"Umm. Good morning Miss Black."

"Alice."

"I'm sorry?" Ginny looked confused.

"My name. It's Alice. It would be nice if you called me that."

"Oh. Okay." She tried again. "Umm Alice." The name felt good on her lips. "I...I wanted to thank you for looking after me last night. It was very kind of you to take such good care of me." She was blushing furiously now. "And I...I...umm. Thanks." You stupid lame arse twat Ginny.

"It was my pleasure Ginevra. Consider it a thank-you for the pendant." She said and leaned across the table to breathe in the other girl's ear "I really do love it, especially now that I know such a gorgeous specimen as you gave it to me." Then Alice kissed on the cheek and left.

Ginny sat stunned for a good few seconds before the sounds of her brothers' cat calls intruded from the end of the table.

"Way to go Gin Gin." Fred called before George joined him chanting "Gin Gin's gonna get some...Gin Gin's gonna get some..." This went on for a while until a grumpy looking Professor MacGonnagal told them to knock it off and then looked pointedly at her, frowning.

"My office after classes today if you please Miss Weasley."

"What the fuck" Ginny thought. Then she remembered. Alice had kissed her. "Totally worth it."

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"My office after classes today if you please Miss Weasley."_

 _"What the fuck" Ginny thought. Then she remembered. Alice had kissed her. "Totally worth it."_

 **CHAPTER 7.**

 **5th Year Girls Dormitory, Gryffindor Tower. 7th September 1995.**

This had been in Alice's opinion a brilliant week. She had been sorted where she could wear these cool red robes (well mostly red after her improvements because one colour was just so terribly dull), she was in a place where she could learn all sorts of fun new spells and stuff and best of all she was in a dormitory with three other girls. Score. There were down sides of course like the sheer amount of clueless hormonal boys in the school and that useless, ugly toad woman Umbridge, but overall she was enjoying her classes. Potions was a particular favourite for her. First it was with the Slytherins so she got to hang out with her friends Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis. Second she got to use a big knife to cut up lots of interesting and sometimes alive shit. Third the fumes off the potions made her feel all giddy and light headed. And lastly Professor Snape was an absolute hoot. Alice had picked up on Snape's whole "I hate the world in general and Harry Potter in particular" act very quickly. It may have been her tenuous grasp on reality that gave her the insight to recognise that the professor's mind was as fractured and divided as her own, especially when it came to the boy who lived. From his snide comments about Harry's performance in relation to his parents she gathered that as much as his father had been hated, so his mother had been loved. It must be awfully confusing for poor old Snapey. Thankfully it didn't seem to affect the quality of his teaching too much the man was actually a genius when it came to his 'subtle art' you just had to listen carefully and apply a 'twat filter'. After years of practice conversing with lunatics and psychiatrists she had that down to a tee and quite honestly some of his Potter putdowns were hilarious. As a result of her attention and obvious enjoyment of the class Alice had found herself doing extremely well in potions, top of the class in fact. Perfect.

There was a small wrinkle in her brilliant week. Ginny Weasley. Usually Alice would have been on her in an instant, the girl was pretty, smart and clearly interested in her and there should have been no hesitation on her part. Standard practice for her was flirt, seduce, conquer, in as little time as physically possible. And yet, when a golden opportunity had presented itself in the form of her having to strip and put Ginny to bed she had much to her own confusion backed off and retired to her own bed. Again the next morning instead of the full on snog, tongues and all, she had planned Alice had simply brushed her lips against the girl's cheek (and not the fun one) and walked away. There were plenty more opportunities during the next few days for her to move things along but she had spurned them all to be replaced with the occasional shy smile or coy conversation about their mutual or differing interests. It wasn't even as if she had shifted her, admittedly, fickle focus to another target. The bushy haired queen of the library that was Hermione Granger in the next bed to hers would have been putty in her hands and an easy and stress relieving shag but Alice just wasn't interested. It was incredibly confusing and incredibly frustrating and now here she was diddling herself in her own bed instead riding some random hottie. Perhaps the potion fumes had done something to her.

 **Staff Room, Hogwarts School. 8th September 1995.**

Albus Dumbledore entered the staff room and smiled at the gathered house heads. "Right then, let's get started shall we. Would anyone like to open with a positive review of this week before we get on with the usual complaints about poor behavour and dropping academic standards?"

"I would." The room was instantly silent.

"I'm sorry Severus I could have sworn I just heard you say that you had something positive to impart about the first week of term but I know that cannot be the case. Perhaps I should get Poppy to check my ears."

"Very amusing headmaster." Snape smiled thinly. " I would like to talk about Miss Black."

"Oh goody she's already one of my favourites this year." Enthused Flitwick. "Clever, charming, funny and so interested in the subject, an absolute delight to teach. My apologies Minerva but she may even out do Miss Granger this year."

"Yes her work is very impressive." Sprout joined in. "She seems to really enjoy working with the plants. In fact in our first class she told me that she loved getting dirty, the filthier the better. Lovely girl."

The normally dour potions professor didn't miss the look that passed between the headmaster and hs deputy, amusement fom Albus and a face palm from Minerva. He smiled again and spoke.

"Indeed, she seems to have a rare gift for my subject as well. Her attention to detail and absolute focus when brewing has put her at the very top of my class, I do believe that with the appropriate encouragement and tuition she could very well be able pass not just her OWL but also her NEWT this summer."

"Really Severus? You think she's that talented? Even you didn't manage that."

"Yes headmaster, her talent for potions is beyond anything that I have ever seen. I also must agree with Filius the girl is simply delightful, teaching her almost makes up for the other morons that I'm forced to attempt to educate in how not to kill themselves in my class."

"I must say I'm surprised Severus. Given your history with her father I thought we'd be having a very different conversation about Miss Black's talents or lack thereof. I thought perhaps we might be hearing more along the lines of your views on Mr Potter." The room stilled again at MacGonnagal's comment.

"Potter is an arogant fool. He has some of his mother's gift for charms I believe but in potions the boy is foolhardy,useless and sometimes downright dangerous. Miss Black on the other hand does what he does not, she listens first then plans her proceedure carefully and only when she is sure of the result does she start to brew. She is most definitely not like her parents in that regard or in any other that I have seen. I will say it again she is a delightful young woman and a pleasure to teach. Now speaking of Potter, his latest incident..."

The headmaster sighed. Normal service is resumed he thought.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School. 8th September 1995.**

Much to Fred and George Weasleys' disappointment after that first peck on the cheek there had been no girl on girl snooging between Ginny and Alice Black either in the Great Hall or the Gryffindor common room, not that they wanted to see their sister snog anyone really but it would have been a great source of pranks and teasing for them. Ginny though was not disappointed. After the kiss that mornng at breakfast professor MacGonnagal had given her a detention in which she had warned Ginny that Lady Black was dangerous and was no lady and was only looking to fuck and run (that wasn't quite how the professor had put it). This had made her understandably nervous about the intentions of the girl who she had fallen for as she knew she was young and was full of aprehension over what being in a relationship, any relationship meant for her. But she had fallen. Fallen hard. Ever since that first glance at her face in the paper Ginny had been all but obsessed with Alice Black, sending her a valentine, writing about her in her journal, dreaming about the two of them...together...and practising the signature 'Mrs Ginevra Molly Black' over and over. If ever there was a girl in love it was her and the revelation by a trusted professor like MacGonnagal that her crush was anything less than perfect was highly disturbing. Much to Ginny's astonishment and relief, however, Alice had not jumped her at the first opprtunity and there had been several (she had seen to that), but had simply hung out with her. They talked about life and the world about them, about their hobbies and interests, they walked by the lake, they flirted and they ate together at every meal and not once had Alice tried to to even kiss her again. She had been in other words a perfect lady, allowing Ginny to move ahead at her own speed and MacGonnagal was full of shit. Nothing had been said but nothing had needed to be. She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine.

"Have you finished Gin? We could go for a walk in the grounds if you're done with your homework." She stopped suddenley. "what's that on your hand?"

"Oh that. The Umbitch gave me a detention for talking back in DADA and made me do lines with this black quill that made my hand bleed." Her heart skipped a beat or two as Alice raised her hand to ruby red lips and lightly kissed it.

"There, all better now."

Yes Ginny thought Alice Black was an angel. Her perfect angel.

The 'perfect angel' beside her kept her face turned away so Ginny wouldn't see her eyes. This angel had murder in mind. Umbridge would pay.

 **DADA Classroom, Hogwarts School. 13th Septemer 1995.**

Hermione Granger was on the verge of a panic attack. Why had she stayed behind to talk to professor Vector? As interesting as the arithmancy discussion was it had made her late enough to class that the only seat left was next to that nut job Alice Black, that would have been okay in any class except defence against the dark arts. The girl was actually incredibly clever and read almost as much as she did and her performance in charms and potions was, Hermione hated to admit, far better than her own. It was pretty clear, however, that Black hated this class and today she looked particularly pissed off and particularly insane and...what the hell was she was burning into the desk. Oh God this was going to be bad. She looked over at Harry and Ron and mouthed "Help me". The boys gave her an apologetic look and shrugged. She was just going to have to keep her head down and hope against all hope that the dangerous, boiling caudron bubbling next to her wouldn't explode before the end of the class.

The rage was building. It had been coming all morning and now hurricane Alice was ready to blow. Die Umbridge Die I am going to carve your flesh from your bones milimetre by milli...fucking...metre. The smoke rose from her desk as she burned the mantra into her desk with the tip of Granny Wal's stick (it's a wand dear) while she muttered under her breath. "Fucking ...Kill ...Bitch ...Dare ...Hurt ...My ...Ginny ...Fucking ...Cunt ...Die." Now everyone in the classroom was glancing over at the furious witch nervously and praying to get out unscathed.

As class finished every student bar one ran from the room (first out the door being Hermione) and as the last figure exited the heavy wood slammed behind them with enough force to dislodge the lintel stone. Alice stalked over to a very perplexed looking Umbridge and lifting her wand hurled the professor against the chalkboard.

"Black!" She squeaked. "What do you think you're doing, I am professor."

"You will address me as 'My Lady', bitch, and right now you are not a professor you are a dead woman walking." Alice's crazy, mismatched eyes bored into the toad's with a look of pure hatred. "If I hear of you using a fucking blood quill on my Ginny or any other student for that matter then I will be very, very angry. One might almost say psychotically, violently angry."

"You can't touch me I'm a professor and you're just a little girl." Some people just can't help saying the wrong things.

"I am the Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. I could have have you in Azkaban by the end of Dinner. Tell me would you like to share a cell with my mother." Finally fear and a sense of self preservation started to bleed into Umbridge's thick skull.

"N...No My Lady."

"Trust me Dolores you piss me off again and the dementors are going to the least of your worries." Alice leaned closer and grinned a deathmask grin. "Greyback got off lightly trust me when I say you will not be so lucky."

Delores Umbridge felt her bladder let go. "Y...Yes My Lady. S...Sorry My Lady."

"Don't touch what's mine Delores. We will not be having this discussion again." The door exlpoded and Alice swept off through the smoke and debris and down the hall.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Chaosrin, I hear you and obey.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but I have a few chapters written and will edit and upload them over the next few days and gauge the response. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"Don't touch what's mine Delores. We will not be having this discussion again." The door exlpoded and Alice swept off through the smoke and debris and down the hall._

 **CHAPTER 8.**

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School. 14th September 1995.**

When the doors to the great hall banged open at breakfast every conversation ceased. From the lowliest firstie to the headmaster himself, everyone went silent, the quiet only broken by the clicking of tall heeled boots as Alice Black walked serenely to take her place at the Gryffindor table.

"Good morning everyone." Alice felt all eyes on her as she filled a goblet with water and nonchalantly pulled a plate of fruit towards her. "Yes can I help you?" she asked as she noticed a kooky looking blonde girl with radish earings and pink highlights sat across from her with her chin in her hands and a rapt smile on her face.

"Not really, I just wanted to thank you for looking after my friend so well." Here the blonde indicated Ginny. "Her nargle infestation seems to be almost gone, though I have noticed a great many wrackspurts heading in her direction recently. You should really watch that you know Ginny they can play havoc with your laundry bills." With that she stood and headed to the Ravenclaw table.

"What an odd girl. I like her. You know you do have the most interesting friends sweetheart."

Ginny Weasley spat a mouthfull of pumpkin juice all over her bacon and eggs. Sweetheart, she called me _sweetheart_. The coughing resumed and she felt a delicate hand soothing and caressing her back. It wasn't helping the situation.

The headmaster sat watching this fascinating interaction at the Gryffindor table with a small smile. He was fondly remebering that lovely interview with his defence against the dark arts professor last night. Delores had come to his study after the end of classes and told him that she had made a terrible mistake accepting the job and wished to leave to pursue other interests. This statement had of course made Albus very curious, that the arrogant woman would willingly admit to making a mistake was just so unlikely that he believed it to be another ploy to weaken his position and take the school into Ministry control. He had known from the moment it was announced that this was Fudge's ultimate aim and Umbridge's appointment had filled him with deep concern over how he was going to prevent it from happening. But now she was volunteering to leave. It was just too tempting to not take a little peek into her mind so that he could make the appropriate plans, after all it wasn't like she would ever know, he could be downright sneaky when the situation required it...and sometimes when it didn't. What he had found in her memories had shocked and saddened him while at the same time filling him with an enormous sense of joy and amusement That a teacher, no matter how temporary, would use a dark artifact on children, his children, had sickened him beyond belief, but that said teacher would be dull witted enough to go after someone who was so obviously respected and admired by the head a noble and most ancient house made him rather sad. Of the many unfavourable attributes he believed the unpleasant woman had, stupidity had not been among them, indeed he had thought her rather wickedly intelligent, but to take on the Blacks and this Black in particular she must be exceedingly dense. He also now understood where the faint smell of urine came from and that had nearly made him laugh out loud. Now, however, he had a task to perform, he stood and cast a sonorous on himself.

"Good morning all, I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast but since everybody in the castle appears to be here for some unknown reason despite it being a Saturday (here his eyes twinkled as he glanced at the Gryffindor table) we may as well make this announcement now. Last night I had a meeting with Professor Umbridge in which she resigned her position with immediate effect." He stopped for any possible cheering to break out but instead was met with the sight of the entire school turning to stare silently at Alice Black who was sitting with her hands folded demurely in her lap looking at him with polite interest. That young lady really did play the game superbly he mused, then continued. "To avoid the necessity of cancelling any classes I have owled a former Hogwarts master and it gives me great pleasure to announce that Mr Remus Lupin has agreed to resume his position of professor for defence against the dark arts starting monday."

Now the cheering erupted. Albus cancelled the charm and sat to enjoy the rest of his meal, pleased with the reaction for his friend.

 **4th Year Charms Class, Hogwarts School. 19th September 1995.**

"I just, I don't know what to say to say to her Lu. She saved the whole school from the Umbitch just by being her own fabulous, scary, screwed up self and the second I think I've got something to say she smiles the way she does at me and I just kind of go blank and kind of ... you know ... run off."

Luna Lovegood sighed. "Ginny we have been friends for a very long time and I feel that I can say this to you without you taking it the wrong way." She paused. "You're a moron."

"WHAT?"

"Problems with the work Miss Weasley? Can I be of any assistance?" Flitwick bounced over.

"Oh no, thank you professor it's okay now. Sorry."

"It is of no importance but if you need any help Miss Weasley I shall be overjoyed to provide it."

"What the hell Lu." She whispered as the professor fluttered away.

"You're a moron." Luna re-iterated. "She didn't do it for the school, you idiot, nor for the whatbots or the hinkypinks or for the little blue follisher in the astronomy tower. She didn't even do it for old White Beard. She did it for you. The Toad hurt someone she loves. The Toad hurt _you_. That's why she did it."

"Lo...Loves?"

"Yes Ginny. Loves. The wrackspurts aren't just after you, you know. She is positively covered in them."

"So." Ginny was starting to get excited now. "So you're saying that I should go for it. Tell her how I feel, ask her out to Hogsmead, hug her and kiss her and ask her to ... to be my girlfriend."

"Oh no, absolutely not." Luna said firmly.

The redhead came back to earth with a bump. "Why the hell not?"

"because, my impatient friend, as much as it is obvious to those who have eyes how madly in love with you she is, I don't think she either realises or understands it herself. I talked to Penelope Clearwater about her after that interview she did for Witch Weekly and from what I gathered, Alice Black was not someone who did feelings." Luna decided that she probably shouldn't go into detail about what Lady Alice Black did do, Penny's blushes had given her an idea of that. "So I think this all new for her. Loving and caring for another person the way she clearly does about you is new territory for her and it must be incredibly confusing and scary and if you push too hard I think you will lose her to her darkling demons."

"Oh."

"Just give her time Ginny and be there for her. I promise it will be okay."

How anybody could think Luna Lovegood was nuts was beyond Ginny, the girl talked more sense than anyone she had ever known.

"Thanks Lu."

 **Headmasters Office, Hogwarts School. 19th September 1995.**

Albus Dumbledore had been looking forward to this particular meeting for some time.

"Come in Miss Black, do take a seat. Would you like a lemon drop dear?"

"You do realise Headmaster that offering sweeties to little girls is rather frowned upon." She took one and sniffed it. "Especially if they're laced with ... calming draft?" At his wide smile and brief nod she shrugged and popped the sweet in her mouth. "Well it has been a very busy day I suppose." She cocked her head and grinned, poking her tongue, lemon drop and all, out at him. "I do hope I'm not going to need uncle Ted here for this, I promised Kreacher it would be 24 days before I needed legal representation, although I suspect Nym's happy she didn't take his bet about me blowing up part of the school."

A quiet chuckle came from the corner of the room and a large silver folding knife leapt into her left hand as her wand appeared in her right. She advanced on the shocked looking man in ragged robes and spoke softly.

"Ello Wolfie. You one of Grey Bastard's boys are you? Thought I'd got them all. Oh well, live and learn. Shall we dance then Furball?"

"This Remus is why I wanted your frst meeting to be here rather than in your classroom. Miss Black this is Remus Lupin, your new defence against the dark arts professor and yes a werewolf, athough a reluctant one I might add. Remus may I present the Lady Alicia Morgana Black, Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

"Delighted to meet you Professor Lupin." Alice dropped a curtsey. "I do hope I didn't upset you with that 'Furball' comment, it would be terribly inconvenient if my new teacher had a grudge against me from day one now wouldn't it." She grinned madly and winked.

Once Alice had left the office an amusing half an hour later Albus poured himself and Remus two very large drams of his finest 12 year old scotch and led them into his private sitting room. A companionable few minutes of them silently watching each other and enjoying their whiskey followed before the older man finally spoke.

"May I say once again my friend how glad I am that you did what you did that night. I have never given an order of which I have been more ashamed and I am so sorry that you were the one I gave it to. No let me finish, I need to get this out. It has been haunting me for too many years the thought that I very nearly deprived the world of that lovely, unique young woman and that I placed you my best and brightest student, my friend in that position. However angry I was, however weak in that moment, I should not have asked it of you, knowing you as I do, for the moral and upright man that you are. I am sorry Remus and I hope that you can, one day, forgive me."

Remus Lupin eased himself out of his seat and sat on th arm of the old man's chair, holding his wrinkled, liver spotted hand he said, "All is forgiven old friend" and kissed the top of his head. "Now let's make sure that 'our girl' has a long and happy life."

 **The Library, Hogwarts School. 20th September 1995.**

"Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck." Alice scratched out yet another mistake in her transfiguration essay. She just couldn't seem to concentrate tonight and it was starting to become a problem for the increasingly nervous students around her as her frustration grew, they all knew what a bad idea it was to be in an enclosed space with 'hurricane Alice' if she blew up. The source of her frustrations wasn't her little chat with the headmaster, if anything he had seeed rather amused by her part in the whole Umbride incident even laughing heartily when she had suddenly realised something and blurted out. "you're a legimens! You crafty old fucker." No her mood was caused by a certain redhead by the name of Ginevra Molly Weasley. Well more specifically by her confusion at he raw emotions and fluctuating heartbeat that her mere presesnce seemed to spark, not that she'd been around much this week. In fact not since the Umbridge affair. Shit she had royally fucked this up hadn't she. She'd been too emotional and overly protective and somehow Ginny had cottoned on and now she was probably scared of her. Hated her perhaps. Fuck.

"Bollocks to this I'm going to bed" The sighs of relief from the few remaining students were clearly audible. Just then the object of her affection?, confusion?, possible heart attack?, came striding purposefully into the library. The redhead stopped right in front in front of her, squared her shoulders then pulled her into a bone crushing hug and whispered in her ear.

"I'm sorry I've been such a twat. Thank you for for what you did for me, I loved it, but try not to do it again. I don't think I could go on if you got expelled and I couldn't see you every day." Then louder "Let's go back to the common room we can relax on 'our' sofa and you can do my potions homework for me."

Alice instantly felt like a weight had been lifted from her and her heart soared as she took Ginny's hand. Really these fucking mood swings made spending years being blased out on anti psychotic meds seem like a fun time.

In the corner of the Library at the farthest table a petite blonde with a faraway look and radish earings smiled to herself. Now that, Ginny, is how you do it. Keep up the good work chicken.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Alice instantly felt like a weight had been lifted from her and her heart soared as she took Ginny's hand. Really these fucking mood swings made spending years being blased out on anti psychotic meds seem like a fun time._

 _In the corner of the Library at the farthest table a petite blonde with a faraway look and radish earings smiled to herself. Now that, Ginny, is how you do it. Keep up the good work chicken._

 **CHAPTER 9.**

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School. 31st October 1995.**

The decorations in the hall were a bit over the top with floating jack-o-lanterns, witches hats, brooms and streamers everywhere all of which would scream or explode if poked about enough, but that's what you get when you allow Filius Flitwick to arrange them. The diminutive charms professor absolutely adored halloween and really went to town every year. Of course his decision to let the Weasley twins assist was probably a mistake but at least it was fun and you couldn't deny their talent with this kind of thing, and of course the students loved them. Well most of the students anyway. Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom were being their usual, understandably quiet selves on this, the aniversary of their parents demise and/or torture but at least they had each other to turn to. Remus Lupin pulled his gaze from the two morose young men at he back of the hall and once again focused on the impromtu dance that had broken out amongst some of the older pupils instigated, no doubt, by the black haired nutter currently whirling a hysterically giggling Luna Lovegood about the centre of the room. He smiled fondly at her and thanked whatever deity there was in this world that they had both lived to see these joyous moments while hoping there would be many more for them despite the growing darkness.

Alice came to a halt as the music paused and tried to fight her nausea while the room continued to spin even though she had stopped.

"How are the wrackspurts now Luney Lu?"

"All gone, they're probably as dizzy as I am at the moment. But I expect they'll be back as soon as Ginny finds you." Luna really had to stop teasing Alice about Ginny and the wrackspurts she thought as she was subjected to a ferocious bout of tickling from the mental ravenette. It had surprised her that Alice had understood almost instantly about the creatures she saw and their relationship to the emtional and mental state of their targets, but then as they had gotten to know each other in the past few weeks Luna had started to see that the girls mind was actually very badly fractured and that she recognised a similarly different mind in her. Looking at her aura was like staring at a broken mirror, you could still see the essence of the image it was just hard to read and interpret. Alice Black was crazy. Not in a bad way, just an extremely odd way. Luna liked odd and they had become firm friends. It had made it a little more difficult to help Ginny in her pursuit of the 'Black Princess', as most of the school had dubbed her, since the three of them were almost always together now but it also gave her much more of an insight into Alice's wierd behaviour towards her best friend and that could only help matters.

Just at that moment in a falsh of red Ginny stood before them hands on hips like a skinny, miniature version of Molly.

"So am I going to get a dance tonight Princess or are you two just going to attack each other all evening?"

Alice put on her best mortified society hostess act.

"Forgive me. Lady Weasley would you do me the honour of accepting my hand for a turn around the floor?"

"Very well Lady Black just make sure you keep your hands where they're supposed to be."

As they moved out into the centre of the hall Luna surrupticiously waved her wand and the lights dimmed and the music slowed. Smiling and extremely pleased with herself she turned to leave and walked straight into a lurking Hermione Granger.

"Would ... um ... would you like to dance Luna?"

Now this was a surprising new development Luna thought and by no means unwelcome as she had been watching the bushy haired witch for quite some time now . She smiled and held out her hand to the red faced library queen.

"That would be lovely. Thank you Hermione."

 **The Boat House, Black Lake, Hogwwarts School. 2nd December 1995.**

"No Kreach, not there. Over there by the cakes. It has to be perfect for her."

"Miss Alice you wound me"

"I'll do more than wound you if you fuck this up for me Batty Man."

Kreacher chuckled and re-arranged the picnic for the fourth time. He had been overjoyed to be summoned to the castle by his mistress, he had missed her something fierce. He had been been a little surprised by her request that they make a special meal to celebrate her friend's first 'O' grade ever in potions. Friend, yeah right, even he could tell that Miss Alice was utterly besotted with the redhead that all this effort was for although he could see that she hadn't quite figured it out herself just yet. He was just happy that she had found someone worthy of her love and he would do anything in his power to help this match along. Including spiking the pumpkin juice.

"She's coming Miss Alice." He brushed a speck of invisible dirt from her dress. "Have fun Miss." And 'pop' he was gone.

"Alice? Alice, why did you want to meet me h ... oh, a picnic." Ginny's breath caught in her throat as she spotted the stunning girl in her best harlequin dress sitting pretilly on the blanket in front of her. "What a lovely idea."

"It's to celebrate your first Outstanding grade in Snapey's class."

"That's so sweet. And I do deserve it don't I. After all we can't all be Slimey's favourite little potions protege now can we." She teased. "Really though, thank you for this."

The rest of their celebration picnic had gone swimmingly both girls were feeling incredibly warm and relaxed despite the weather and now cleared a space so that they could lay next to each other on the blanket. Alice rolled on to her side so that she could look at the redhead laying next to her. Suddenly she began to a suspect that all of her odd behaviour in respect to this gorgeous creature had been not a result of her broken mind, not of inhaling too many potion fumes or even of Luna's hollisher in the astronomy tower. No now she was suspecting something much more dangerous. Had she? Had she, the ultimate pleasure seeking libertine, actually fallen for someone? Had this been what all the torment, the crying, the frustration and furious masturbating been about. Well only one way to find out.

"Gin Gin." She slurred.

As the other girl turned to face her Alice leaned forward and captured her lips with her own. Sweet and slow. Her hand caressed ginny's cheek as the younger girl deepened the kiss and it felt like a million fireworks had just gone off in her brain.

Fuck. She was in so much trouble.

 **4th Year Girls Dormitory, Hogwarts School. 3rd December 1995.**

"What are you grinning at?"

Jennifer Sothern was glaring suspiciously at her red headed room mate who was sitting on her bed hugging her knees with a huge soppy smile on her face. Seriously the girl had no right to be looking this good after the state in which she had floated into the dorm last night. Ginny had been pissed, totally and utterly hammered so why wasn't she groaning in pain and sporting the hangover from hell the way she was supposed to be. Realisation dawned. Her anger turning to joy and not a little jealousy, she smiled.

"Tell me everything."

"About what?"

"You know damn well what about Ginevra. You and Alice Black. Now. Tell. Me."

So Ginny told her. She told Jennifer about the boat house, about the picnic Alice had prepared, about their teasing, flirtatious converstion and about the kiss. That wonderful, beautiful, soul scorching first kiss and about the others that had followed. She told her about the older girl's assertion that she wanted them to do this properly and that meant kissing and cuddling and no more, not until they both committed to this in the cold light of day. She told her about walking hand in hand back to the common room and their chaste goodnight kiss at her door and about their promise that this was not a one night thing. Jennifer's reaction was predictable.

"Lucky bitch."

 **The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole. 5th December 1995.**

Molly Weasley smiled as she petted the owl standing importatly on her kitchen table and turned to the cupboard to find some owl treats for it. She didn't normally allow the creatures in her kitchen as they could make a hell of a mess but this one was from Hogwarts which meant that one of her children had taken the time to write to her so this one got some leeway. As the owl left and she settled down to read her letter she noted with surprise that it was in her youngest son's spidery scrawl and this filled her with enormous pleasure. Perhaps Ron was becoming more mature after all writing to his mother so soon before the Yuletide break. Molly's good mood didn't last long.

"Shes done WHAT!." She screamed. " And with a damnable Black of all people."

Fuming she grabbed a quill and some parchment and started furiosly scribbling. Those bloody Blacks were going to get a piece of her mind. She was going to tell Andromeda just what her deviant little slut of a niece had done to her pure, innocent, misguided daughter.

Arthur stood in the doorway and looked at his infuriated wife. He knew it was cowardice on his part but dealing with Molly when she was in this kind of mood always resulted in a fight and frankly he just wasn't up for it. Quietly summoning Ron's letter from the floor where it lay discarded, he retreated to the living room. Might as well find out what she's been up to. His little girl was always a trouble maker. Cute and fun, sure enough, but still a trouble maker.

 **12 Gimmuald Place, London. 6th December 1995.**

"Oh. Hic. Read that part about. Hic. 'serious consequences' again." Ted was smiling at his wife who was laughing so hard now that she had developed a case of the hiccoughs. He turned his attention back to the letter in his hand from one Molly Weasley and started from the beginning again. He really should write and thank Alice for this.

"Stop. Stop. I'm going to wee myself." The always serious, always proper Andromeda Black had fallen off her chair in hysterics.

 **The Hogwarts Express. 19th December 1995.**

The mood in the compartment was chilly to say the least. Ginny had stopped by briefly to glare at her brother before continuing on to sit with her _girlfriend?_ and the Greengrass girls further up the train, leaving her, Luna, Neville and Harry here to deal with him. Hermione had torn the boy off a strip after discovering that he had written an awful lie filled letter to his mother about Ginny and Alice and apparently he was still quite sore about it.

"Why don't you two fuck off to the lezzers' carriage as well."

"Steady on mate." Bless Harry he always did the right thing, no matter how it affected him personally.

"It's quite alright Harry, honestly I don't think I want to to sit here if he's going to be like this for the whole journey. Come on Luna, let's go and sit with Ginny and Alice. At least the conversation will be more pleasant."

"It's not alright, Hermione." Neville joined in. "You shouldn't have to go just because Ronald's being a dick."

"Well right or wrong we are leaving because if I'm sitting in a confined space with him acting like this I'm going to kick him in the balls, and I'm better than that."

As the two girls left Ron shouted.

"Good Riddance, bitches."

"You're a fucking idiot Weasley and if you carry on like this you're going to be a very lonely fucking idiot." Harry and Neville left too.

 **Platform 9 3/4, Kings Cross. 19th December 1995.**

The Weasley clan tensed as their daughter approached on the arm of an extremely beautiful black haired young woman in a very odd, distinctively brightly coloured harlequin dress. Following with them were a serious looking Ted and Andromeda Black. To their surprise it was the mild and likeable Ted who addressed them.

"Mr and Mrs Weasley, may I present the Head of my House, the Lady Alicia Morgana Black."

At such a formal introduction Molly had no alternative but to respond in kind.

"Good evening My lady."

Lady Alicia has asked me as the familly solicitor to inform you of her intention to formally court your daughter. Mr and Mrs Weasley you and Ginevra are invited to her birthday ball at Black Manor on the 21st where we shall dicuss the terms of the courtship." Ted handed them a black scroll and then turned to leave with his family, noting with no small amount of pleasure the stunned look on faces of the large group of silent redheads.

They made it almost all the way to the public floos before he felt his wife and niece silently shaking with the effort of keeping their laughter in check. He shook his head sadly as he tried to hold them steady.

"Please girls, we're in public, lets at least try to be dignified. For once."

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _They made it almost all the way to the public floos before he felt his wife and niece silently shaking with the effort of keeping their laughter in check. He shook his head sadly as he tried to hold them steady._

 _"Please girls, we're in public, lets at least try to be dignified. For once."_

 **CHAPTER 10.**

 **The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole. 21st December 1995.**

Ginny was beyond excited. All her dreams, her wild imaginings of the previous year were about to come true. She was going to be the official girlfriend of the most admired, poised, beautiful, powerful and crazy young woman in the whole of the country ... no continent ... no world ... no universe. She, Ginny Weasley, had conquered the high Lady of the House of Black not with spells and magic or political manouverings but with a look and a smile and a kiss. She knew with absolute certainty that Alice would die for her, definitetly kill for her, although to be fair she would kill for a cookie or a new rabbit or because she was bored, just as Ginny would do the same for her. They were young, beautiful and in love. Life was good.

The Weasley patriarch stood in the doorway and regarded his only daughter with affection and pride. She had always been his favourite but now she had become what he had longed for her to be, a talented, headstrong, passionate young woman and one who had attracted the attentions of the head of a noble and most ancient house. That the aformentioned head of that house was also a young woman did not phase him in the least, he like his wife had been aware of Ginny's preference for her own sex for a couple of years now but unlike her he didn't feel the need to bury or ignore it. Arthur loved his little girl unconditionally and anyone who made her smile like she was smiling now was alright by him. Smoothing his best dress robes he gathered his girls and headed for the fireplace. It was time to go to a party and negotiate a contract to ultimately give away his only daughter, and he couldn't be happier.

 **Black Manor, Hertfordshire. 21st December 1995.**

The party was in full swing when the Bones' arrived in the reception room of the Black Manor. The reason they were late was only partly down to her staying on to finish a few urgent tasks at the DMLE the other part was having to cope with two teenaged girls wishing to look their best for _the_ social event of the year. Amelia's niece Susan had insisted on bringing the Abbot girl with them although it quite baffled her as to why it was so important that she attend, it wasn't like they were friends with the Black girl. As they were introduced and entered the crowded ballroom she caught sight of her hostess in an eye watering dress of bright scarlet adorned with tiny crows and skulls dancing wildly with a slim, attractive redheaded girl and laughing raucously as she whirled and twirled her way around the dancefloor and directly towards them.

"Oooph." Two small bodies careered into them and all five of them fell to the floor.

"Sorry about that Missus. Red wasn't looking where she was going again."

"That's quite alright My Lady it was obviously a very silly place to stand"

The black haired girl in the wild dress with bunny ears in her hair grinned at her with a twinkle in her mad eyes and said.

"Oh I like you, you've got a sense of humour. Something sadly lacking in most of my guests."

"Congratulations on your birthday Lady Black. Amelia Bones at your service and this is my niece Susan and her friend Miss Hannah Abbott."

"Charmed. Hey do you two want to dance with us? Oi Kreach. Wake them them up Batty Man it sounds like a fucking funeral in here. Woo Hoo."

This was all delivered in one breath before she grabbed the girls and dragged them onto the dancefloor and out of sight. Amelia shook her head and blinked. Was that really the famed werewolf hunter who taken down Greyback and his entire pack? Dear Merlin the girl was an absolute nutter.

When Alice finally allowed them to stop dancing the four girls all but collapsed on the big comfy sofas in the large sitting room. As they caught their breath a trio of house elves arrived with snacks and drinks for them The eldest elf who was supervising walked up to Alice and bowed low.

"Refreshments for you and your guests Miss Alice."

"Thanks Kreach not really hungry though."

"If Miss Alice eats something Kreacher will let her in on a new project he has been working on." At her lack of reaction he continued. "Like the one we undertook last year Miss Alice but much more ... fun ... and with less ... hairy targets" He waggled his eyebrows and grinned.

Immediately Alice grabbed a sandwich and stuffed it in her mouth whole. "Immm eathing. Thee. Mmmm."

"Very good Miss." The elves left.

"Did that elf just wink at you?" Ginny remarked. "I swear he's as nuts as you are."

"Oh yes indeedy, Why do you think I call him 'Batty Man'."

Susan and Hannah looked at each other confused as their hostess and her girlfriend creased up with laughter. They shared a glance and nodded to each other and Susan cleared her throat.

"So Alice. Hannah and I wanted to come here tonight to say thank you."

"'Kay. Wait. Why?"

"Well you and Ginny have made it a whole lot easier for the rest of us to come out now. No one would dare say a word against us now they know that you're gay."

"No problem girls. Wait, the rest of us you mean there are more?"

"Oh yes. There's me and Hannah in Hufflepuff, your pal Lovegood in Ravenclaw and we think Edgecombe is carrying on with a girl in Slytherin but we don't know who."

"I think it's Davis" Hannah joined in. "And then there's you Gryffindor's. You and Ginny, the swot Granger, Bell and Johnson have been carrying on in secret for years and we believe that Potter and Longbottom will be together before long, although Malfoy may have something to say about that. Seriously we're thinking of renaming Gryffindor Tower 'House of the Homos'. Perhaps we ought to form a club."

"Yes. Hogwarts super awesome queer club. I'm sure we could get the headmaster to sign off although he may end up wanting to join."

This set the four teenagers off giggling again. What a fun party this was turning out to be.

 **Malfoy Manor. 22nd December 1995.**

Lucius Malfoy was feeling rather smug. The Dark Lord was once again a guest in his house and Lucius' star was in the ascendance tied to the most powerful wizard that Britain had seen since the days of Merlin. No matter that he looked more monster than man the wizarding world would all kneel before Lord Voldemort and his most trusted lieutenant 'Lord' Malfoy. The only fly in his soup was Narcissa. The damned woman simply refused to bow before his Lord and was constantly going on about how they should ditch him and join in an alliance with her mentally deranged neice and the House of Black. She even had the gall to say that this lesbian lunatic who had been raised in mud and spent half her life in an insane asylum would be more powerful, more loved and more feared than the mighty Voldemort. She had actually called her the new Morgana LeFay. Finally he could take no more and had reached an agreement with his master that he would be allowed to dispose of Narcissa as long as he did it before her sister and cousin were broken out of Azkaban next month. He decided to celebrate his good fortune by beating his overly proud, aristocratic wife to death before concluding the evening with a fine aged brandy and some fun with his newest mistress.

As usual Lucius had over estimated his own powers and ended up not quite killing his wife, spilling his expensive drink down his shirt and then even failing to perform in the bedroom. As Narcissa had said many times the man, and she used the term in it's loosest possible sense, really was an idiot of the highest order.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 22nd December 1995.**

Over a late lunch the Black family were in good spirits due to the overwhelming success of the previous night. Andromeda was incredibly proud of her niece's performance at what was already being spoken of as _the_ social event of the season.

"I have to say I'm impressed dear the first hour of the ball is where the business of the evening is done and you played your part beautifully, just the right blend of pure and proper added to your own unique flirty mentallist style. You made some powerful allies last night Alice. Amelia Bones was a particularly good catch, it's always handy to have the head of the DMLE on your side especially with your fondness for murder and mayhem. Well done love."

"Thanks Aunt Andi, they were an incredibly dull bunch except Bonesy, she's got a properly wicked sense of humour." Alice giggled softly while stroking her new lop eared rabbit called Dutchy, a birthday present from Uncle Ted who was now in line for a much better Christmas present than the gold pocket watch she had originally picked out for him. "And you're right it's always good to have a friendly face in the rozzers. Isn't it Dutchy, yes it is. Does Dutchy want some din dins. Hmmm?"

"Do you have to carry that rodent everywhere, we're trying to eat."

Alice's vigorous defence of her new pet was interrupted by the dull crack of an apparition in the hallway followed by a low, folorn moaning and an almost frantic looking Kreacher rushing into the kitchen.

"Come quick Miss Alice, mistress Narcissa is needing you. Now."

At the sight of her sister's condition Andromeda raced to her side cradling her head in her arms and stroking her blood soaked, matted hair. Ted stopped his niece from joining her aunts and whispered urgently in her ear. After receiving a nod of understanding Ted relieved her of Dutchy and handed her his wand before joining his wife and comforting the two siblings. He looked up at Alice and nodded.

"Now Alice, before she passes out." His Head of House raised the wand and spoke.

"Narcissa Malfoy. It is your right as a child of the House of Black to ask for sanctuary from your enemies among your family in the house of your birth. Do you wish to make this request of me at this time?"

The bloodied and beaten woman laying on the floor gazed up in awe at the vision before her, offering a new start with her old family and cried a little harder.

"As a child of Black I do so ask." She murmered through a mouth full of broken teeth.

"Sanctuary is granted."

Thank you My Lady." Narcissa managed to whisper before passing out.

"Aunt Andi, take her to my bedroom and stay with her. Nym get to Hogwarts and bring Poppy Pomfrey back here to tend to her injuries." Alice was in full command mode now and her family knew better than to argue when she had that murderous look in her strange eyes. "Uncle Ted get me her marriage contract and arrange a meeting with Gringotts for tonight."

"Shall I get the Aurors as well?" Asked Nym.

"We will not be involving the authourities Nymphadora. This is now a family matter and we shall be resolving it ourselves in the manner of our ancestors. Justice for a child of the House of Black. Swift and silent and very, very bloody justice."

 **Malfoy Manor. 23rd December 1995.**

Kreacher had apparated himself and Miss Alice into the kitchens at Malfoy Manor with no alarms and little fuss. The terrified house elves they encountered there had told them a tale of a snake faced Dark Lord as a permanent house guest and many meetings full of nasty, cruel wizards with quick tempers and quick hands. Full of pride and his own self importance Kreacher calmed them telling them that the kind and brilliant and powerful Lady Alice had saved their mistress and had now come to rid them of their horrid master. The Malfoy elves looked at her with shining eyes as they all tried to clasp her knees at once. Alice decided that if she ever needed an army of house elves she was going to employ her mad little Batty Man as a recruiter.

Having had her new group of short superfans disable any alarms in the place the Lunatic Lady and her deranged sidekick crept quietly into Lucius' study and disillusioned themselves before moving behind the desk and settling down to wait for their target to arrive to deal with the urgent missive that was due to arrive from the 'ministry'. In about ten minutes. Perfect. Dear old Uncle Lucy would never know what hit him Alice thought caressing her favourite fireaxe and grinning maliciously.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 24th December 1995.**

The first thing Lucius Malfoy noticed when he came to an hour later was how bright it was in the large room in which he was currently restrained, the second thing was the excrutiating amount of pain he was in. This was due to the fact that he was tied to a hard wooden chair with twisted wire which had wicked little barbs every ten or so inches along it's length added to the impression that it felt like someone had split his head open with a billy club. He whimpered with the pain and took in his surroundings. He appeared to be in a surreal nightmare. Seated at a table set for afternoon tea with two of the other three chairs filled with large stuffed bunnies, one in a pink dress and the other in a blue dress. Scattered among the tea and cakes were an assortment of wicked looking knives, some large pliers and what looked like a cattle prod. All at once he felt fear of what was very likely to be an unpleasant interrogation by someone seemingly unfamiliar with the rules of honour regarding the treatment of prisoners of his status, and he undoubtably was just that. A prisoner. Who the hell would be bold enough and stupid enough to believe that they could hold the Head of House Malfoy in such a manner without consequences. As his captor entered the room Lucius got his answer and his fear and anger turned to raw, uncontrollable panic. A black haired teenager in a scarlet and blue harlequin dress covered with a butchers apron was standing inside the doorway grinning and showing far too many teeth.

"Hello Uncle Lucy." Alice Black walked towards him stropping an old fashioned straight razor on a thick strip of leather. "Sorry about the accomodations but I thought we might have a nice little chat about a couple of things that have been brought to my attention and I didn't want to disturb the rest of the family."

"What things?"

"Oh you know the fact that you've been harbouring a certain snakey faced dark lord in your mansion. That and you beating your wife, my aunt who is a child of my House nearly to death. Stuff like that." She stopped to pour some tea for the pink bunny. "would you like some jam on your scone Princess Flufflebutt?"

"You're insane if you think I'm going to tell you anything you mental little bitch." Lucius' arrogant mouth spat out before his brain could scream at him that this was a phenominally bad idea.

"Very good Lucy, as it happens I am insane, I've got a certificate from a doctor and everything. And I actually hope you don't just tell me everything because honestly it's much more fun if you don't. Well fun for me and the ladies here anyway. Now where shall we start?"

She danced lightly towards the blonde haired aristocrat brandishing the razor like a conductors baton and singing slightly off key.

 _"Well I don't know why I came here tonight. I got the feelin' that somethin' aint right._

 _I'm so cared in case I fall off my chair. And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down the stairs._

 _Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Here I am Stuck in the middle with you._

 _Yeah I'm Stuck in the middle with you. And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do._

 _It's hard to keep this smile from my face. Losin' control, yeah, I'm all over the place._

 _Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Here I am Stuck in the middle with you."_

Suddenly there was a searing pain and Lucius was staring at his own ear on the plate in front of him. The screaming began. It didn't stop for a very long time.

 **Ministry of Magic, London. 25th December 1995. 2.00 am**

His mistress was looking tired but happy as she lifted her burden from the the bright red sack on the floor, transfigured her axe into a hammer and began attaching the bundle to the front doors af the Ministry with six inch nails. The large, hooded red suit and false beard seemed to be getting in the way so she removed them and continued with her hammering, singing a strange song about mistletoe and wine. Kreacher once again wondered at his good fortune to be bonded to this extraordinary young woman who had transformed his dull existance with her brilliant, shining light and her ferocious, twisted darkness. As she completed her task he retrieved his camera and called.

"One more for the album Miss Alice?"

"Hang on a mo." She transfigured her clothes into a tweed suit complete with deerstalker hat and the hammer into a long, double barelled elephant gun and struck a Victorian Hunter pose. The camera flashed and the pair headed home to eggnogs a roaring fire and a well earned rest.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"One more for the album Miss Alice?"_

 _"Hang on a mo." She transfigured her clothes into a tweed suit complete with deerstalker hat and the hammer into a long, double barelled elephant gun and struck a Victorian Hunter pose. The camera flashed and the pair headed home to eggnogs a roaring fire and a well earned rest._

 **CHAPTER 11.**

 **Malfoy Manor. 25th December 1995. 02.00 a.m.**

Lord Voldemort stood and dusted himself off as he considered his situation. He wasn't sure what being physically propelled out of bed, through a door, two walls and a wrought iron gate had done for his nightwear or his body for that matter but it couldn't be good. Only one thing could have forced him out of the manor with such vigour and that was a change of ownership not just of the property but of the whole House line of his hosts and that meant the right of conquest. So Lucius was dead by the hand of a powerful House he thought as he transfigured some rather more appropriate robes out of his destroyed nightgown. It had be that damned Black girl again. She really was becoming a major pain in the arse.

He had been both impressed and also rather amused by Alice Black's antics over the past few months and the stories doing the rounds about her destruction of Feynrir Greyback and his pack of werewolves were deliciously entertaining although the loss of a prime fighter like him had been annoying but now she had gone too far. Not that he had any love for Malfoy, the blonde ponce was next to useless other than his money and talents for bribing various politicians and reporters, but it had been extremely useful being able to use his manor as a base for his recuperation. He was going to have to get his people out of Azkaban sooner than intended so that he could have Sirius and Bellatrix put their insane progeny on a leash. Perhaps they might even sway her to his side. Now that would be a very good outcome. Of course he would have to give them something in return. As a Dark Lord one couldn't use all stick and no carrot or you'd never keep your most talented people and as nuts as she was, Lady Black was certainly talented.

Back to the present he thought and immediately regretted it. Damn it, now he was going to have to go and stay with the bloody Notts. Awful people and their sons were utter morons. Oh well needs must when the devil drives.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 25th December 1995. 02.30 a.m.**

The room was still in darkness when Narcissa finally awoke, still bruised and sore but most definitely alive. She glanced over to the large overstuffed chair by the bed and smiled as she regarded the lightly snoring form of her niece and Head of House dressed in a rabbit onesie (complete with ears) cuddling a very cute lop eared bunny that appeared to be trying to burrow into her stomach. She smirked a little as Alice giggled in her sleep and murmered something that sounded like. "Mmmmm Ginny." Whatever the dream was it must be very good. Narcissa fell back asleep content in the thought that she was being cared for and watched over by her most loved, most admired, most insane and most favourite family member that she could ever recall. For the first time since her idiot husband had brought Voldemort to stay with them last Summer she felt happy and safe.

 **The Ministry of Magic, London. 25th December 1995. 02.45 a.m.**

As he entered his office and sat behind his too large desk Minister Fudge felt a measure of safety and control for the first time since he had been woken at 2.00 a.m, unceremoniously dragged out of his bed and rushed into protective custody by four hulking great members of the Auror Office's elite squad. His feeling of security vanished as the head of the DMLE arrived, seated herself and slid an envelope containing a series of photographs across to him.

"The remains of Lucius Malfoy were found nailed to the front door of the Ministry at 01.52 am by an auror patrol Minister." Amelia paused and considered the obviously frightened man before her before continuing. "It is our belief that this is a message aimed directly at you sir."

"How can you possibly know that Madame Bones."

"If you would look at the third picture Minister." He did just that and paled before grabbing a bottle firewhiskey from his drawer and pouring a generous measure. The photo showed a message painted in what was pretty obviously Lucius' blood on the door. It read; _Good boys get presents, bad boys get punished. Merry Christmas Minister. Love Santa_. He gulped and drained the glass before pouring another.

"I'm next, aren't I." Fudge whined.

"Well that depends doesn't it Minister. Will Lady Black think you've been a good boy or a bad boy?"

That all depends on what Lucius told her he thought. He looked over at the photo of the Black family crest of three crows sitting atop a skull that had been burned into what remained of his friend's chest. Oh yes. She would think he had been a very bad boy indeed, and he was definitely next.

"You should arrest her. Immediately."

"As much as we know she did it, we have no proof, Sir. No witnesses, no physical evidence, and, as you well know, without proof any case against her wouldn't even get to a courtroom."

"Then what _can_ we do."

"Well, you could start praying, Sir." Amelia did her best to hide the wide smile she could feel forming. Fudge had always been a fool and now it appeared that his foolishness had caught up to him in the extremely vengeful form of the teen-nutter known as Alice Black. She could have helped out out a little more she supposed but he had made his own bed, let him lie in it.

"Fuck him." She thought and apparated home.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 25th December 1995. 07.30 a.m.**

The kitchen was in utter chaos. Ted, Andi and Nym had come down to find out what all the noise was about and had entered to find six ragged looking house elves busily cleaning up and preparing a feast of a breakfast and they were now attempting to calm the over excited creatures enough to discover what exactly was going on. Their best efforts were in vain, however, as the elves all started chattering at once. Something about nasty old masters and their new powerfull mistress 'protector of the weak, saviour of the down trodden, their black queen.' The three Blacks began to have an idea of who these infuriatingly cheerful little beings were talking about but were still at a loss as to how their Head of House had managed to aquire them. Just then a sleepy looking Kreacher entered with Alice and Narcissa in tow and as all noise immediately ceased Andi thought they were about to get their answer.

"Mistress Alice." Six elf shaped missiles darted to their taget and engulfed her, each one clasping some part of the startled teen. Kreacher ordered them off the girl, picked one at random and stated bluntly.

"Explain."

"Great Kreacher, most trusted servy elf of the black queen, we is here to pledge our service to our new Mistress. Saviour of the nice Missus, slayer of the nasty Master, expeller of the wicked wizard."

"Slayer of the nasty master and pledging themselves to you. They are talking about the right of conquest. Alice dear are these elves saying that you killed my husband?" Narcissa drew a hesitant breath as the young woman in the rabbit onesie shuffled her feet and looked intently at the tiles on the kitchen floor.

"Ummm ... well ... sort of ... you see ... Uncle Lucy's been very bad ... he's been plotting with Mouldy Shorts ... and the Minister ... and ... and ... and he shouldn't have laid his hands on you Aunt cissy. Not you. Soooo ... I kind of ... you know ... tortured him to death ... a bit."

"So ... I'm free." The blonde woman pulled her niece into a crushing hug. "Thank you Alice. Thank you. How did it ... happen."

"Kreacher took many pictures Mistress Narcissa if you would care to see." The odd elf put in and summoning a projector started his slide show to a rapt audience, interrupted only by the shocked gasps of Nym and Ted and the enthusiastic cheering and clapping of six house elves as they ate popcorn and watched the grisly end of Lucius Malfoy.

After the show was done Alice's family all turned and stared at her before they mentally shrugged and sat themselves at the table to enjoy the marvellous breakfast prepared by the group of ex Malfoy elves. It wan't as if the foul man hadn't deserved his fate and it was also not, they knew, even close to the worst thing Alice had done. The girl might be a bloodthirsty psychopath but she was _their_ bloodthirsty psychopath and they loved her.

 **The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole. 25th December 1995. 13.30 p.m.**

It hadn't been the most fun day for the girls at the Burrow this year. Hermione was being ignored by the boys and she and Ginny were both missing their girlfriends like crazy. Not to mention, of course, the Weasley matriarch's reign of terror that was particularly bad this year due to her implacable attitude towards the relationship between her only daughter and Lady Black. At first it had only been Ginny who had been on the outs with her mother but after Hermione's floo call from an exuberent Luna Lovegood and her very explicit description of the late Christmas present she had planned for them, which had been overheard by the entire family, she had gained Molly's ire too. It was dreadfull.

Lunch was conducted in near silence, everyone at the table seeming to catch on to the mood except Hermione who decided to tackle the issue straight on by asking Mrs Weasley what exactly her problem was like the true Gryffindor she was . If it was just the fact that they were dating girls or if it was Luna and Alice who had somehow offended her. To say this didn't help would be like saying an elephant didn't have big ears and a long nose. There was a brief reprieve as they sat to exchange presents but just as the mood was starting to thaw a dark brown owl swooped in carrying a small package for Ginny. It was beautifully wrapped in red and blue paper decorated with dancing bunnies and it contained an exquisite platinum pendant in the form of two hearts intertwined, containing the Black family crest and inscribed; _GW, Yours Forever, All my Love, AB_. Unfortunately for Ginny the incredibly expensive and impossibly small lingerie set that it was wrapped in fell out on to the floor as well.

The Weasleys and their guests sat stunned for a moment, staring at the racy underwear and then the house was filled with screaming and shouting and recriminations. Christmas had arrived at the Burrow with a vengence.

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 25th December 1995. 14.00 p.m.**

Due to the numbers The Black Family had decided to relocate their Chritmas festivities to the much more spacious property at the Black Manor and now they sat around the table in the large dining room, one wizard, four witches and seven very embarrased house elves. The new elves were absolutely mortified to be invited to sit with their betters, such a thing had never even entered their minds that it would ever be allowed but their new mistress had insisted that they were family now and should be treated as such. And so the twelve of them sat wearing paper hats, pulling crackers with their neighbours, filling up on wine and turkey and laughing like idiots at piss poor jokes before it was time to retire to the living room for whiskey and presents.

The new elves, who had been renamed by Alice, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashfull and Doc, had each received a smart new uniform and Black ring that she had desiged specifically for the servants of her House, along with a kiss on the cheek from their beloved new Mistress. The blushing and smiling small creatures excused themselves to clear away the dinner things and prepare bedrooms for the family, all except Dopey who approached Narcissa with his eyes downcast and pressed a small paper packet in her hand before running off to join the others.

"It's a tooth."

"It must be one of Lucy's. Dopey must have picked it up from his study. I did hit him kind of hard with my fireaxe." Alice mused.

"How _sweet_ of him."

The rest of the gifts were a mixture of amusing, thoughtful and just plain weird right up to the point that Alice opened her package from Ginny and a huge sloppy gri plastered itself on her face. Inside the plain wrapping paper was a pair of scarlet and blue striped knitted stockings witha pink bow at their top and a part of a poem written in a loose, looping hand;

 _O something unprov'd! something in a trance!_

 _O madness amorous! O trembling!_

 _O to escape utterly from others' anchors and holds!_

 _To drive free! to love free! to dash reckless and dangerous! To court destruction with taunts—with invitations!_

 _To ascend—to leap to the heavens of the love indicated to me!_

 _To rise thither with my inebriate Soul!_

 _To be lost, if it must be so!_

 _To feed the remainder of life with one hour of fulness and freedom! With one brief hour of madness and joy._

Alice decided that Ginevra Weasley would be receiving a very personal, very special thank you just as soon as it could be arranged. Perhaps Ginny would wear the the lingerie Alice had bought her. At that thought the youngest Black ran off to the bathroom for some special, alone 'lady time' while her cousin smirked and yelled after her.

"Don't forget to lock the door."

Christmas had always been a good holiday in the Tonks residence but Christmas as a Black had brought a whole new level of fun, what with long lost Aunts back from the brink of death, insane house elves, some of the oddest presents she had ever received and a fabulous, if gory, slide show. Nymphadora couldn't wait to see what the New Years celebrations would be like.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **The Poem isn't mine it's the last verse of One Hour Of Madness And Joy by Walt Whitman.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Christmas had always been a good holiday in the Tonks residence but Christmas as a Black had brought a whole new level of fun, what with long lost Aunts back from the brink of death, insane house elves, some of the oddest presents she had ever received and a fabulous, if gory, slide show. Nymphadora couldn't wait to see what the New Years celebrations would be like._

 **CHAPTER 12.**

 **Malfoy Manor. 27th December 1995.**

Seven small figures waited in a bunker made of sandbags outside the gates of the manor and watched as their Mistress bounced and skipped along the driveway towards them unravelling a reel of thick cable behind her and singing _"You've got More Rabbit than Sainsburys, Why don't you give it a rest."_

The ex Malfoy, now Black, house elves had been overjoyed to be invited on a mission with Miss Alice and 'Grumpy' Kreacher and although confused about why they were strapping bundles of small sticks to the pillars and foundations of their former residence carried out their task with joy in their hearts just happy to be included.

"Here you go Kreach, give Dutchy to me and you hook up the ends of these wires to that box." Alice watched approvingly as her chief house elf connected the leads while joining in her song. _"Yak, yak, rabbit, rabbit. Rabbit, rabbit, yak, yak."_

"Right. Everyone put your goggles and hard hats on and grab a hold of the plunger and then on three we push down. 'Kay?" The seven servants nodded. "One. Two. Three."

The explosion that followed was epic in proportion. They were all glad of the hats and safety glasses as the debris and detritus flew past them all but demolishing their little bunker.

"Wow. That was soooo fucking COOL! Although I may have erred a little on the heavy side of safe in the amount of TNT used." Alice regarded the enormous bonfire that had once been Malfoy Manor impassively for a moment. "Anyone got any marshmallows?"

The elves grinned at their Mistress as Kreacher pulled some sticks and a large bag of the treats from his backpack. Life in service to their Black Queen was proving to be one giant fun fest.

 **12 Grimmuald Place, London. 28th December 1995.**

Narcissa Black stood in front of the large mirror in the reception room at her family's London home and checked her appearance once again. She had to look at her absolute best for this meeting with her son but sadly even her sister's skill in healing potions couldn't completely remove the scars and bruises that Lucius had left her with in only a few short days. Narcissa smiled as she thought of her ex husband and his long overdue demise at the hands of her most beloved niece Alice. Alice. Just thinking the name of the Head of House Black brought a warm feeling to her neglected heart and laughter started to bubble up as she remembered Kreacher's little show and tell session the other day. As much as she didn't want to admit it she had so wanted to cheer and applaud along with those insane but very sweet elves and it was only her natural sense of propriety which her upbringing had instilled in her with that had stopped her doing just that.

Just then the fireplace glowed and the blonde Black forced her thoughts back to the business of the moment. Quite honestly she wondered how Draco was going to take the news she had for him, he had all his father's arrogance of course but there was also a streak of cowardice that ran right through the young man that she hoped would result in a sense of pragmatism and self preservation that just might keep him alive today.

"Mother, do you know where Father is I can't seem to contact him and why on earth are we meeting here of all places , we might run into your blood traitor relatives or worse still that damned mudblood lawyer."

"Draco. Sit down, shut up and listen carefully." Narcissa paused while he huffed and threw himself into an armchair. "Your father is dead. He was killed in an honour duel three days ago by Lady Black and she has claimed the 'Right of Conquest'. The Malfoy line is over and you are now a ward of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

She had a small twinge of conscience at having lied to her son, as she had at lying to the Wizengamot the day before when the Blacks had presented their case for the right to end the Line of Malfoy, but if they knew the truth then a great many more people would have had to die. Narcissa had no illusions about Alice. The girl was so like her parents in so many ways, violent, terrifying and utterly insane with a legendarily bad temper but she had what Sirius and Bella did not, a deep love for her family and a heart of the purest gold. Draco's thankfully frightened voice cut through her musings.

"What ... What do I need to do Mother."

"Lady Black is going to offer you a choice about your future and you need to think about it carefully before you speak. Oh and Draco. Whatever you do ... _don't_ mention the rabbits."

 **The Granger Residence, East Sussex. 29th December 1995.**

"Miss Hermyninny Grangy?"

"Eeeek!" Dan Granger let out a very feminine squeal as the small, strange creature who had suddenly apeared in his kitchen looked quizically at him before frowning slightly and trying again.

"You ... is Miss Hermyninny Grangy?" Happy had been given a very important job by Miss Alice and she didn't want to get it wrong.

"No, that would be me. I'm guessing."

The elder Granger breathed a sigh of relief as his daughter walked in still holding hands with her skipping, blonde haired girlfriend who smiled and gave him a cheery wave. To say it had been a surprise when Hermione had returned from school for the holidays with a girlfriend in tow was understating things a little, but both he and his wife were open minded and tolerant people so it hadn't exactly caused any major problems. Of course it helped that Luna was an absolutely delightful, if a touch dreamy and nutty young woman who had utterly charmed them from the moment they had been introduced and had insisted on giving them frequent hugs and calling them 'Mummy G' and 'Daddy G'. Seriously the girl was so cute his heart had almost melted on the spot.

"So who are you little one?" Hermione addressed the scarlet clad elf.

"I is called Happy miss, and I is here with a delivery for Miss Hermyninny and Miss Luney Lu." The beaming elf held out a two letters bearing the black crest for Hermione and Luna to take. "Delivery complete, Happy must return to Miss Alice. Goodbye Grangys goodbye Miss Luney Lu." And with a small pop the strange little elf was gone.

"Oh look Mia it's an invitation to a sleepover at Black Manor on New Years Eve. Can we go Daddy G, can we? Can we?"

"Actually you and Mum are invited too."

"Invited to what dear." Emma Granger arrived in the kitchen to be immediately engulfed in one of Luna's 'special' hugs. She smiled down at the blonde girl and wondered again at how she had got so lucky with her daughters choice of partner.

"Alice Black has invited all of us for New Year's and then she wants us to stay over wth the family afterwards. It's kind of a big deal."

"Oh, why's that?"

"Well Mummy G, it means that we've been accepted, not just as allies and friends, but as part of the family. For a Noble and Most Ancient House like the Blacks to do this for a muggle born like Hermione is almost unheard of. Of course it could just be that Alice is nuts and wants our help to convince Ginny to shag to her. Not that she'll need much encouragement mnd."

"Oh alright then. Should we bring a present.?"

Hermione looked between her smiling parents and her grinning, girlfriend bouncing up and down on the spot in her mothers arms. Sometimes she really loved her life.

 **The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole. 29th December 1995.**

The invitation Ginny had just received from the hands of the blushing, stammering elf called Bashful, was very formal in it's nature simply stating that she was being asked to attend a New Year's party at the Black Manor followed by a sleepover and outlining her travel arrangements. The part that got her juices flowing and her knickers in a twist was the hand written post script at the bottom _._

 _'Don't forget your Christmas present Red.'_

In the words of her idiot twin brothers. Gin Gin was gonna get some. Oh Yes. Finally!

 **Main Sitting Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 31st December 1995.**

"Where is she now Kreacher." Andromeda asked wearily. As much as she had enjoyed a little adult conversation with their guests, it was a family party and as the Head of that family Alice really should be more involved a bit more.

"I believe that she and the other young ladies are off exploring the manor. She did say something about the foundations, but don't worry Doc and Happy are there to keep them out of the wine cellar Mistress Andromeda.

"Thank you Kreacher, you and the others can turn in now if you want."

"Mistress." The elf bowed and left.

"I can understand it I suppose, I think we've had more parties in the last two weeks than we have in the last two years and certainly more than Alice is used to."

"Yes I know what you mean. Now Hermione's at school for ten months of the year we don't really bother."

"When my son Draco first went away to Hogwarts I was much the same. If it weren't for my duties as a proxy at the Wizengamot I'm sure I would have gone quite mad."

Narcissa Black had surprised herself at her reaction to the Grangers. For her whole life she had been told that muggles were dirty and uneducated, suited for nothing better than a life of mindless slavery, it was, therefore, with a good amount of consternation that she found that she actually liked to talk to these people, that she found them charming and intelligent and extremely good company. Basically she had been lied to for the last thirty some years, by her parents, her husband and, of course, by the dark tosser himself or 'Mouldy Shorts' as Alice liked to call him. She snickered lightly to herself at that. She still didn't get a lot of their humour, quite what they found so amusing about the seven Black house elves and their names was a mystery to her, but that was understandable as she had never had any contact with their world or culture. But the fact that Alice liked them and thiought them worthy of her time was good enough for her. At that moment the four girls came running in out of breath and dirty from their exploration of the manor's cellars.

"We're off upstairs for our sleepover over now."

"Alright love, have fun and don't forget the silencing 'thingumy' I don't want to get woken up at three in the morning again."

"Alright. Goodnight everyone. Don't let the bed bunnies bite 'Kay." And much to their surprise she gave them all a hug and a kiss including the startled Grangers.

"No offense." said Dan once the girls had left. "But is it just me or is she a little nuts."

"Oh no it's not you Dan. She's as mad as a hatter. But we love her just the same." Nym chuckled at his shocked expression and poured him another glass of scotch.

 **The Master Bedroom, Black Manor, Suffolk. 31st December 1995.**

Upstairs the girls were having an awesome time. Hermione was cuddling one the four rabbits they were sharing the large bedroom with while reading one of the more esoteric volumes from the Black library with a dreamy smile on her face. Ginny was petting another one of the bunnies and watching intently as her girlfriend was jumping on one of the two gigantic four poster beds with Luna and singing along to the enchanted radio at the top of her voice.

 _"Wands don't kill people wabbits do._

 _I'm a fuckin' wabbit and I'm gonna kill you."_

So what if the words were wrong and they weren't exatly in tune, they were having fun and it was actually kind of nice to know that her Alice wasn't good at everything. The flaws made her more human, more accessible and less intimidating. And it wasn't like they were her only flaws. Not by a long way.

The first thing Alice had done when they left the main party downstairs was to gather the girls, sit them down and tell them the full, unexpurgated story of her life. The tale she had told them was heartbreaking and confusing and terrifying in equal measure but when she had finished with the destruction of Mafoy Manor she had looked down at the floor and said, "I understand if you don't like me anymore. You don't have to stay if you don't want to." It was at this point that Hermione, Luna and Ginny had all hugged her and told her that of course they still liked her, that she couldn't help who she was and that she should never be ashamed of it, and that they loved her. No matter what. Friends forever. What followed were tears and more hugs and then as if a switch had been flipped 'Mad Alice' was back in the room and the fun really began.

"Hey Red." Alice planted a sweet slow kiss on Ginny's lips and cocked her head to one side. "soooo did you bring your present."

"I'm wearing it" Ginny whispered, blushing.

Alice grinned wickedly, faked a huge yawn and grabbed her girlfriends hand. "Time for bed. 'Night you two."

Luna shared a look with Hermione and they both shot a powerful silencing charm at the rapidly closing curtains of the second bed and giggled.

"Well Miss Lovegood do you think it's time for bed too?"

"Hmmm. I believe it might be Miss Granger, although I'm not that tired. What on earth are we to do about that?"

"Perhaps I could help you with that Wrackspurt problem you were telling me about. It seems like a _deep_ investigation is called for."

The sounds of giggling faded as the the silencing and privacy wards went up.

 **Azkaban Prison, Somewhere in the North Sea. 1st January 1996. 01.30 am.**

Bellatrix Black didn't have any idea how long she had been in this cell but she did know that it was long enough for her to be hallucinating again. She would swear that she had just heard the Dark Lord's voice carrying to her on the howling Nordic wind, but that couldn't be. The Dark Lord was gone and she was in Azkaban for the rest of her life. She knew going in that if they failed in their grand pursuit of a better world for the pure she would end up in prison or in the ground. Bellatrix had done terrible things for the cause. Dark, murderous and terrible things. She had let loose the mad monster lurking within her, even surpassing her husband in her ferocity, torturing, maiming and kiling all those who opposed them. Her only hope was that her beautiful daughter was not also paying for her crimes. Not that she had any regrets, those were for the weak and she may have been many things but weak had never been among them.

She supposed that was why this dream was so hard to take, because it was was a sign that she had finally succumbed to the horrors of Azkaban. Now she was even dreaming that the wall had given way and her Lord, Voldemort was walking towards her once more holding out his hand to take her with him to the realm of eternal night. Well all lives end she thought and decided that if this was her time she would face it willingly and without fear.

"About fucking time." She croaked and passed out.

Voldemort stroked her face tenderly and lifted the emaciated woman into his arms.

"Come my brave warrior, let's get your husband and take you both home."

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 1st January 1996. 09.30 am.**

"Am I in heaven?" Ginny Weasley asked herself as snuggled deeper into the embrace of her girlfriend. No scratch that. Her lover. Alice.

"I do hope not" Alice replied with her eyes still closed. "Although I might just have died last night and not noticed, you saucy little minx. Owww what was that for."

"You deserved it for pretending to be asleep."

"Bitch."

"Lunatic."

"Ginger slut."

"Psycho pervert."

"As fascinating as this is ladies, do you think we could get up and go and get some breakfast." Hermione's amused voice cut into their giggling to and fro.

"Oh must we."

"Luna you're supposed to be on my side. Come on, everybody up. Oh good God! Ginny, Alice will you please put some clothes on and hurry up, I'm hungry."

When the four of them finally made it to the dining table they were greeted with some very hung over looking adults warily pushing their breakfast around their plates like it was going to leap up and kill them apart from Nym who was attacking hers with gusto, much to the disgust of the others.

"Good morning all." Alice called too loudly and chuckled at the chorus of groans and shushing as she sipped her coffee and unfolded the Daily Prophet that Kreacher had just handed her. "Thanks Kreach, you're an angel." She stopped and read the headline piece interestedly for a few moments before remarking. "Oh look my dastardly parents have somehow managed to escape from jail. I expect old Mouldy Shorts was behind it, I really am going to have to do something about him. Well if certain people let me out of the bedroom for long enough anyway, eh Red."

Silence fell over the room as all eyes turned to her.

"Kreach, be a dear and polish up my axe in case Mummy and Daddy decide to drop by."

"Certainly Miss Alice. Shall I get some more film for camera too."

"Hmmmm. Good idea Batty Man. Like the Girl Scouts say 'Be Prepared'."

 **The songs are 'Rabbit' by Chas and Dave, and 'Guns Don't kill People Rappers Do' by Goldie Looking Chain.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Silence fell over the room as all eyes turned to her._

 _"Kreach, be a dear and polish up my axe in case Mummy and Daddy decide to drop by."_

 _"Certainly Miss Alice. Shall I get some more film for camera too."_

 _"Hmmmm. Good idea Batty Man. Like the Girl Scouts say 'Be Prepared'."_

 **CHAPTER 13.**

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 1st January 1996.**

"Well she's certainly put the cat among the pigeons with that one, no offence Minerva. Things are going to get interesting now aren't they." Remus lowered the paper he had been reading and looked over at his breakfast companions.

"Indeed they are Remus." The headmaster spoke sadly. "Severus told me that _He_ was most displeased about being evicted from Malfoy Manor in such a fashion. It's probably why he's broken the Blacks out of Azkaban so soon, perhaps he thinks that they can Influence her into joining him. The events of the last week have clearly caused him to accelerate his plans, though I don't know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing."

"Hopefully all he'll succeed in doing is pissing her off. We all know how that usually ends up for the people involved, don't we." Minerva smirked, wistfully thinking about their former DADA professor. It was extremely entertaining seeing the Toad woman run off. "What about Harry, is there any progress with his occlumency."

"Not as much as I had hoped. He and Severus just seem to rub each other the wrong way. But, as you said Minerva, if Tom manages to annoy Lady Black enough it may end up being a moot point anyway."

"But what about the prophecy Albus."

"Prophesies are notoriously tricky things, they cannot always be taken at face value." Here he pointedly ignored Minerva's interruption about especially if they're made by a fraudulent old lush. "But as a wise man once said; Hope for the best but plan for the worst."

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 4th January 1996.**

Worry and concentration furrowed the brow of Dan Granger as he looked up from the book he had been reading for the last three hours deep in thought. 'The Rise and fall of the Dark Lord Voldemort' would have been a fascinating read if it wasn't for the realisation that his family was going to be deeply involved the resurgence of violence that would soon be unleashed by the resurrection of this egotistical madman. The fact that Voldemort chose to employ the use of other creatures like vampires, werewolves and giants was particularly troubling to him. He had no fear for his daughter and her friends meeting opponents on their own terms, he had seen the power of these girls first hand, but he thought that even the formidable and mentally unstable Alice Black might struggle against the overwhelming power of a giant. What they needed was an edge, something akin to artillery. Dan rifled through his memories to land upon one of the few times that hs grandfather had spoken to him of his experiences in the Second World War.

Sergeant John Granger had been a gunner in one of Montgomery's tank divisons serving in both North Africa and Northern Europe and had survived some of the bloodiest engagements of the war. He had always attributed his safety to the skill of his commander and crew and to the genius of the mind that had come up with the design and continuing improvements for his Churchill battle tank, fast enough to be useful, heavy enough to be a battering ram and with a main gun powerful enough to take out pretty much anything that stood in it's way. Like a giant. Now this could be a way for him to both keep Hermione safe and help in the coming fight. Dan grinned. Having got to to know Alice pretty well in the last few days he could guarantee that she was going to love this idea as the only things she seemed to enjoy more than 'spending time' with her girlfriend was killing things and blowing shit up.

Of course there was the small problem of where they going to lay their hands on a tank but he thought that he could leave that in the capable hands of Miss Black. She really was incredibly resourceful and the phrase 'thinking outside the box' could have been invented for the way she resolved her problems. Oh yes she was going to love this.

 **Somewhere outside Bovington, Dorset. 5th January 1996. 01.00am.**

"Okay everybody ready." Eight heads nodded in unison.

"Right then let's rock."

The two witches and seven elves moved stealthily and silently past the sleeping guard and with a muttered _alohamora_ were inside the vast open space of the entrance hall of the Tank Museum. As Doc moved off to disable the alarms the rest of the group headed straight up to the awesome piece of machinery dominating the hall.

"Fuck me."

"Hermione Jean Granger what would your mother say if she heard you using language like that." Alice chuckled. "Although I have to agree with the sentiment. This was an absolutely fucking genius idea by your old man. You'll have to remind me to get him something appropriate for his birthday."

"Yes because you're sooooo famous for giving people _appropriate_ gifts aren't you Alice." Hermione shot back at her before smiling and shaking her head at her friends strange eyes shining with excitement and glee.

"Oh, oh, look at this one. Panzer Mark Four." She read off the information plate. "Isn't it adorable? It's sooooo shiny and pretty. I could just hug it and cuddle it and love it all day. Do you think Red will like it? Do you? Do you?"

"Yes I'm sure Ginny will love it Alice. Now, I'm assuming this is the one you want so let's get it back to the Manor shall we."

"Umm, yeah, so about that."

Hermione sighed resignedly.

"We're not just taking one are we. I suppose I should have twigged when you wanted to bring all of your mental little 'helpers' with you. So. How many are we taking?"

Alice cocked her head and grinned and at her, holding up a list of six tanks in her father's handwrting. Hermione shut her eyes and counted to ten. She loved the raven haired lunatic like a sister but, Dear God, she could try the patience of a saint and now it seemed she was roping Dad into her probably dangerous and definitely illegal schemes.

"Fine, let me look at it. You'll only get distracted and I don't want to be here all night."

"Awesome." Yelled Alice before grabbing Hermione by the hand, kissing her on the cheek and dragging her off into the museum shouting.

"Panzer Vor !"

 **The Nott Residence. 5th January 1996. 08.45 am.**

Bellatrix woke slowly from a screaming, soul shattering nightmare covered in sweat to an unfamiliar feeling of luxurious comfortable sheets and pillows on a mattress that was soft and warm and welcoming. She closed her eyes again. This was different to how she normally woke up. Not necessarily worse, just different. No threadbare blanket, no stench of her own faeces, no soul sucking demons patrolling the corridors. Yes this was definitely better. She must still be dreaming.

"Morning Love."

Now she knew for certan that she was still dreaming. That voice, that was a voice she hadn't heard in many long years. She squeezed her eyes tight shut and then opened them again and looked to her left. Her lovely husband was sitting across from her, thin and gaunt and tired looking but with hints of the handsome, powerful man he had once been still recognisable in his features.

"Siri?" She croaked.

"Hello my sweet Bells. It's time to get up love. We have work to do."

"Where's Alicia. Is she here?"

"That's one of the things he wants to talk to us about, love. Come on let's go and find out what our darling girl's been up to."

 **The Stables, Black Manor, Suffolk. 6th January 1996.**

As the doors to the stables creaked open Susan Bones gripped Hanna's hand and walked inside to stop and gasp in awe as she heard a _lumos maxima_ from behind her and caught sight of the six metal monsters within. From beneath one of the machines three oil covered house elves emerged dressed in scarlet jackets with the Black crest picked out in silver on the right breast, green tartan kilts and bright pink sporrans, waving a variety of muggle implements at them and grinning broadly. A feathered cap, white and green knee socks and heavy black boots finished off the ensemble.

"Fuck me." She whispered as she felt Hanna dig an elbow into her ribs, for her language she guessed.

"I have to admit that was my first reaction too." Sighed Hermione.

"So do we get to wear those outfits too ?" Luna asked breathily, boucing on the spot in antipation and pointing at the elves.

"But of course we do Lu Lu. Every tank corps needs a uniform doesn't it. Besides your 'Daddy G' and I spent simply hours designing them so it would be a waste not to wear them now wouldn't it."

"No you didn't." Put in Hermione. "That's just the dress uniform of the 92nd Gordon Highlanders and I doubt if the two of you spent more than ten minutes on it. You probably spent the rest of the time arguing about who gets to drive one of our tanks first."

"Well yes, but I also came up with many improvements to it like the cap badge and the sporran."

"Why are the skirts so short?"

"You might want to call them kilts Hanna and I suspect that would be one of Alice's _improvements_." Ginny turned to her girlfriend. "Pervert."

"Hey I can't help it if I like my girls to show a little leg." Alice replied daintily. "And after what you asked me to do the other night I don't think you ought to be throwing the word 'pervert' around too lightly, Ginevra."

Hanna and Susan giggled behind their hands as Ginny Weasley's face coloured to almost match her hair.

"So what in Merlin's name are these 'tank' things anyway and why did you want us to see them? Not that they aren't super awesome like, but still. Why us ?" Susan rejoined the discussion.

"That's a Sherman, then there's the T34, the Churchill, the Tiger, the Matilda and my personal favourite, the Mark Four Panzer and they are self propelled artillery pieces for taking down large and difficult targets like buildings ... or giants ... or anything you want really. They offer mobility, protection and enormous firepower but they each need a crew of three or four to run them and that's where you two come in." Alice paused. "You and Hanna are going to be in charge of recruitment for the tank crews as we can only run two of them with our current numbers."

"Okay, I think we know a few people who would be eager to have a go and we can use our Hogwarts Queer Club as a cover, we really should think of a better name for that by the way or at least, you know, less obvious.. But why exactly do we need them? You make it sound like we're forming an army."

"That's exactly what we're doing Susie, and we need an army if we're going after old Mouldy Shorts and his Death Nibblers." Alice grinned her trademark grin winked at the two 'Puffs.

Susan and Hanna looked at each other again and shrugged.

"Well the uniforms are pretty cute. Meh. Okay we're in. As long we're not using a rainbow flag or anything."

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 6th January 1996.**

Emma Granger sighed and leaned back in the large bubble filled bath that she was currently sharing with her husband. This was heaven. She had enjoyed every minute that they had spent in this madhouse, surrounded by these lovely, sweet, generous and insane people (and elves). Their lunatic hostess had insisted that they should stay on at the manor and had explained that in order to keep them safe from any retaliation she would be bringing the Granger and Lovegood families under the Aegis of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Furthermore Alice had told them of her intention to set up a muggle and magical Dentist and Healer Clinic in a large property that she owned in Hogsmeade with the hope that her and Dan would run the place with her Aunt Andromeda. This had delighted the Grangers even more as it meant that they would not only have a safe place to live and work to save the Wizarding world from the nightmare of bad dental hygiene but they would also get to see their girls nearly every weekend. Heaven Indeed she thought as she rose from the bath before dressing and heading downstairs.

Upon entering the drawing room she found Narcissa sitting alone and reading a letter on the sofa with a small smile on her face. Emma politely waited for the blonde to finish before asking.

"Is it from your son?"

"Yes. It appears that life in sunny California is agreeing with him. Or it might possibly be a lifeguard that's arguing with him, his handwriting has taken a sad turn for the worse since his father took over his education."

"Oh well that's good. Narcissa. Can I ask you a question?"

"It's Cissy, Emma and of course, you may ask me anything."

"Okay Cissy. Umm. Why are the elves all wearing kilts and crossbelts now."

"Alice has decided that she wants to honour our ancestors by exploring the Black family's Scottish roots. Surely you can't have failed to notice the god awful noise around the place lately, why she thought giving house elves bagpipes and drums was a good idea is utterly beyond me I'm afraid."

"Ah, that might be my fault actually." Dan said as he joined them.

"What did you do now." His wife scolded.

"Well I was reading to her from the regimental history of the Gordon Highlanders and she became rather enthused with the idea of marching into battle with the pipes and drums playing and it just kind of naturally progressed from there really."

"Of course it did."

"Well at least be busy when they go back to school tommorrow. Although chasing mad bagpiper elves and feeding all these bloody rabbits she seems to have aquired wasn't exactly my first choice of how to spend my days." Narcissa smiled despite herself. She didn't really mind. Anything that she could do to help out her darling niece was time well spent in her opinion.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 7th January 1996.**

Dinner was well under way when the doors to the great hall crashed open and, to the open mouthed stares of staff and students alike, in marched six young women dressed brightly in scarlet and tartan and whistling 'Colonel Bogey'. Minerva MacGonnagal tried very hard not to spit her pumpkin all over the headmaster as she laughed out loud and remarked.

"Good God, it's the Gay Gordons."

Albus was chuckling along with her as Alice Black curtsied prettily to them and sat with her little squad of nutters at the near end of the Ravenclaw table. The young woman never failed to surprise him with her capacity for a dramatic entrance. In one glorious gesture she had taken all the fear and apprehension that the school's inhabitants were feeling over the holiday news reports of Lucius Malfoy's death and the escape of her parents and turned it into amusement and grudging respect and not a little love, if he was any judge.

The headmaster was not alone in admiring the entrance of Alice and her group. Several of the girls in the hall were staring openly at the sextet of giggling, scarlet coated hotties now tucking into their food and whispering to each other. In particular a certain large Slytherin tilted her head to one side and sighed thinking how good she would look in a kilt and sporran. Milicent Bulstrode, for the first time in her life, wanted more than anything to be a part of a group. She wanted in and she was going to do whatever was necessary to get there.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _The headmaster was not alone in admiring the entrance of Alice and her group. Several of the girls in the hall were staring openly at the sextet of giggling, scarlet coated hotties now tucking into their food and whispering to each other. In particular a certain large Slytherin tilted her head to one side and sighed thinking how good she would look in a kilt and sporran. Milicent Bulstrode, for the first time in her life, wanted more than anything to be a part of a group. She wanted in and she was going to do whatever was necessary to get there._

 **CHAPTER 14.**

 **The Library, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 13th January 1996.**

From behind the stacks in the history section of the library Milicent Bulstrode was trying very hard to not be noticed as she attempted to listen to the conversation of the two girls at the table behind her and for someone of her size and presence this was not an easy task to accomplish. However she considered that it was a risk that she was willing to take if it gave her any insights into how she could insert herself into their group. She was all too aware of how the school viewed her with her well built, six foot tall frame and a glowering look that could freeze pretty much anyone in place until she released them from it's frosty power. That it was mostly an act for the benefit of not being picked on and that she was actually an extremely sweet and thoughtful young woman no-one not even her family had ever bothered to discover by spending time with or even talking to her. But there were unseen depths to Milicent only one of which was her intense attraction to cute, sporty girls and she really, really wanted to be seen differently at least by Alice Black and her little crew of sapphic sisters.

Ever since she had seen their entrance into the Great Hall after the Christmas break Milicent had been wracking her, not inconsiderable, brains as to how she could join up with these magnificent girls without incurring the wrath of her housemates, although at this point in time she was seriously considering just saying to hell with it, walking into their club room and pleading with them to let her join. The 'Social History And Gender Studies' club that Alice and her friends had formed this last week was quite obviously a front for a Hogwarts Lesbian society but the innocuous sounding name along with the fact that the Headmaster himself had endorsed it had kept most of the schoolyard bigotry at bay. Sadly Bones and Abbot weren't giving her anything useful at the moment, they were dicussing bloody herbology of all things. Oh well it looked like she was going to have to go with the direct route and consequences be damned. Milicent briefly closed her eyes and sighed, summoning her inner Gryffindor as she turned and sat opposite the two 'Puffs at their table, waiting for them to notice her she pointed at their club insignia and surprisingly softly said.

"So, Bones, Abbot. How do I get in?"

 **The Nott Residence. 15th January 1996.**

The report about his daughter that he had just finished readng had both horrified and delighted Sirius Black in equal measure. It had angered him intensely that his pure blood baby girl, his princess had been farmed out to be raised by filthy muggles and then locked away in an insane asylum for teaching them the error of their ways in daring to raise a hand against her. The details of her escape had, of course, caused him huge amusement and the ingenuity that she had used and the sheer amount of bloody destruction that she had caused had him grinning like an idiot. Like mother, like daughter he mused. Then, however, he got to the part about her life in their world and his heart grew a little heavier. He could understand and even forgive her wanting to rebuild the family, even if it was with Bella's blood traitor sister and Greyback and his werewolves had always given him the creeps, so good riddance there. Even her terrifying slaughter of Lucius was forgiveable, the man was an utter arse and aside from his money was of no use to anyone. No what was unforgiveable both in his and his Lord's view was that she was blatantly and publicly hanging around with mudbloods, even going so far as to give them the Black family Aegis and proclaiming herself as a 'Witches Witch' for all to see.

He glaced over to his frowning wife, still reading her copy of the report and silently agreed with his Lord. The girl needed to be told the truth about these filthy animals she was cavorting with, she needed some discipline in her life and they were the one's who needed to give it to her. When the Easter holidays came, like it or not, Alicia would be having a very uncomfortable conversation with her parents.

 **Charms Classroom, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 16th January 1996.**

Alice looked around the room that they had commandeered for their club meetings and smiled warmly at the happy chattering group of fourth to sixth year girls assembled before her. Susan and Hanna had done an excellent job. All four houses were represented and from the reactions of some there were a couple of extremely surprising faces. Yes her recruiters had done a very good job indeed, she would have to think up some kind of specal reward for her pair of Hufflepuff hotties. Right now, however, it was time to get on with some club business. She picked up Dutchy, stood and moving to the front of the classroom crossed her ankles displaying one shapely leg and tapped a single dainty finger on the desk gaining the immediate attention and interest of the room full of hormonal, teenage witches.

"Okay. Welcome everyone to the second meeting of the Social History And Gender Studies Club, or SHAGS for short." She paused for the giggling to die down while smirking at an unamused looking Hermione. "Now then firstly I must say a big thank-you to Susie and Hanna for their efforts to increase our membership. Good job ladies you may each take a cookie and stroke my rabbit." More giggles. "I thought we'd begin with some introductions, so I'll start and then we'll work around the room. Okay?" The rapt girls all nodded. "Very well. My name is Alice Black and I am your Club President and founder member of SHAGS. I like long walks on the beach and bunnies and rainbows and I am especially fond of fucking my girlfriend. Next."

"Thank-you for that _lovely_ introduction Alice. I'm Ginny Weasley and I'm lucky enough to be the aforementioned girlfriend that she enjoys fucking."

"For God's sake Ginny. Ahem. Hermione Granger. Fifth year Gryffindor, Second year lesbian and third founder member of SHA ... SH ... this club."

"La la la. Hmm? Oh me? Hello. Luna Lovegood, you can all call me Lulu and I'm Sexy's girlfriend." She indicated a blushing, grumbling Hermione. "Wait a minute. Second year lesbian. Who were you with last year?" More mumbling from the bushy haired one. "Fleur Delacour! Wow no wonder you're so good with your tongue."

"Moving on. I'm Susan Bones and I've met most of you already."

"Hannah Abbot. Ditto."

"Katie Bell. Gryffindor, chaser, lady lover."

"Angelina Johnson. Gryffindor, chaser, Katie lover." The dark girl smirked at her girlfriend and winked.

"Alicia Spinnet. Another Gryff, another chaser and ... currently single although not for long I hope." Milicent felt a lightly calloused hand stroke her bum before gving it a good squeeze.

"Eeeek! Um. I mean. Bultrode ... Milicent ... Hi." The now bright red girl stammered out to the utter shock of most in the room.

"He he, nice one Milly. Hi I'm Davis, Tracey that is. Yes I'm a snake. No I'm not evil."

"Hello everyone I'm Sally Smythe, a muggleborn Hufflepuff and another lonely traveller on life's winding road looking for my one true love." There was a chorus of sighs as the incredibly cute blonde finished her introduction.

"Su Li. Short and sweet." She frowned at the laughter that followed. "Well I am."

"Marietta Edgecombe. I'm here looking for fun and excitement and because my girlfriend told me I had to come." She looked accusingly at Tracey.

As she finished all heads turned to the last girl in line and waited expentantly for her to start.

Hello. Um. I'm not sure why I'm here, except that I think. Um. I might be ... that is to say ... I think I'm ... gay. Oh. Cho Chang by the way."

"The way you've been staring at blondie over there I'd say, definitely gay. Lovely accent by the way hen" Alice smiled at the blushing Ravenclaw seeker and continued. "Right then introductions over let's get down to it. Who here believes Harry Potter about Mouldy Shorts being back."

"That's right love, ease them into it." Ginny snickered.

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 20th January 1996.**

Breakfast was a quiet affair this morning as Emma, Andromeda and Narcissa were the only ones currently at the table and none of the three were exactly chatty in the mornings that, however, was about to change as Xenophilius Lovegood came bouncing into the room just ahead of the slightly more sedate and less exciteable Dan and Ted.

"The owls have arrived ladies. Mail, mail, mail for everyone!" And sure enough in his wake came three tired looking Howarts owls fluttering about to find their targets before hunting for tidbits amongst the breakfast things. Andi and Cissy through long years of practice quickly grabbed their owls and recovered their letters while Dan had to chase his feathered message carrier up and down the table for a while before finally cornering it in front of the sausage platter. Glancing at the names he handed Xeno the letter from Luna and sat down to read his own.

"Oooph. Well hello love, take a seat why don't you." He chuckled as his wife dropped into his lap to read it with him.

"Shut up and open the letter, idiot. Well what does she say?"

"Hermione and Luna send their love and they say that they need more uniforms for the other girls in the SHAGS club. It's apparently what they're calling their little group at school. SHAGS. He he he."

"I don't think it's quite so little anymore, Alice says that they're going to need another nine unifoms so we'd better get sewing. Cissy dear do you recognise any of these names?"

"A few, let's see. Davis of course, Chang and oh Bulstrode. I can't imagine her parents are going to take this well. We had better make a couple of extras for the Greengrass girls as well, I'm sure that they will be wanting to get involved sooner or later, you know how Alice tends to rub off on people." She smirked at her sister. "So to speak."

"They want us to find some operation manuals for the tanks as well. A job for my father I think." Said Dan. "Actually I wonder if we could persuade him to give them some personal instruction when they come home for the holidays, although you should probably ask him Em he can never seem to refuse you anything." Dan Granger smiled at the thought of his dear old dad the ex Hussars Drill Instructor trying to teach Alice and Luna, well, anything really. "Hey Ted, maybe we could even sit in as it seems there's going to be a tank going spare." The two men grinned at each other and exchanged a high five.

"Panzer Vor!"

The three women looked at each other and rolled their eyes trying not to smile at their antics. Boys and their toys.

 **Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 24th January 1996.**

Severus Snape was trying not to look too bored as the headmaster droned on about Potter and the Longbottom boy's new found friendship and how good it was for the cause. Together in adversity and bonded by their parents and blah, blah, blah. He preferred to spend the time thinking about his newest favourite student and the plaudits that it would undoubtably bring him when she aced her potions NEWT this summer a full two years early. Their tuition sessions had been a revelation for him and he had never thought that he would be so invested in any student's exam results, let alone a child of the hated Sirius Black, but she had shown him that she was insanely capable of receving the very highest of marks. Of course in order for her to do that she would have to be alive and if her parents or the Dark Lord's mood of late was any indication then she would have to be both subtle and carefull. He snorted in amusement at the thought that Alice Black could even begin to comprehend the concept of subtle when it came to ... what was it that she called him? ... Ah yes. Mouldy Shorts. Shocking and highly irreverent, obviously, but also extremely amusing. He gave another snort.

"Something to add Severus?" The old man was asking him.

"Oh no headmaster. I was just thinking I'll have to borrow your pensieve for when Lady Black meets the parents at Easter, I believe it will be a memory that I will want to see again and again. I do hope she gets that wierd little elf of hers, Kreacher I think it is, to take pictures, apparently his slide shows are just marvellous."

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 4th February 1996.**

Most of the now seventeen members of SHAGS were happily chattering amongst themselves about the upcoming Valentine's Day celebrations at the ever accomodating Hufflepuffs' table at Dinner with only three notable exceptions. Su Li, Marietta and of course Hermione were each reading one the operations manuals that Dan had sent them to get started on in preparation for their tank training due to take place at Black Manor in a couple of months. They all had copies as they would all have to know the basics of every job in every vehicle but only those three thought it necessary to do their reading at meal times. Alice smiled to herself as she gazed upon her tight knit group of scarlet uniformed girls thinking to herself how easilly they had taken to the idea of crewing fifty ton muggle war machines with the intention of blowing Mouldy's arse right back to the stone age. Naturally some were more enthusiastic than others, Milicent, for example, had proved to be a fantastic find. The large Slytherin had shown herself a capable and intelligent witch, a good and loyal friend and if Alicia Spinnet was to be believed an absolute tiger in the sack.

They were fast becoming an army and would soon be capable of taking on the Dark Tosser and hitting him where it hurt. Right in the balls. With a fifty six millimetre tank shell. It couldn't come soon enough for Alice. She hadn't killed anybody in over a month and was starting to get antsy, although it helped that Ginny was now helping to relieve her pent up tension with a quite staggering amount of sex. The smile on her face became wider as she thought about her red headed girlfriend and her awesome, newly discovered passion for perversion. Ginny had even recently suggested that they get a 'pet', some willing submissive that they could put a collar on and lead around on a leash, to care for and 'play with' when the mood took them. Now wouldn't that be the perfect Valentine's gift for her girl. She have to keep an eye out for someone suitable, perhaps one of the Patil twins, it was always the quiet, well behaved ones that were the screamers in the bedroom. Just look at Hermione.

Alice black cocked her head and grinned at the dark, studious Padma sitting on her own at the Ravenclaw table, a wicked plan forming in her warped mind. Look out Paddy love, here come the twisted twosome to make your day you lucky, lucky girl.

At the next table the 'lucky girl' in question shivered as though someone had walked across her grave and then blushed furiously as she looked up into the gorgeous, smiling face of Alice Black gazing right at her before ... Oh my God she just winked at me ... Oh no she was going to have to change her underwear. Again.

 **Sorry for the wait I've just come off a killer twelve day straight shift, I hope you think it was worth it. Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _At the next table the 'lucky girl' in question shivered as though someone had walked across her grave and then blushed furiously as she looked up into the gorgeous, smiling face of Alice Black gazing right at her before ... Oh my God she just winked at me ... Oh no she was going to have to change her underwear. Again._

 **CHAPTER 15.**

 **The Nott Residence. 7th February 1996.**

"What are you saying Bellatrix." Sirius was desperately trying to reign in his temper and finding it an ever more difficult task as this conversation continued.

"I am simply stating _Mister_ Black that our daughter could very well become a Dark Lady to rival Morgana Le Fay herself. A charming, whimsical, fun loving Dark Lady to be sure but a Dark Lady nonetheless and pissing her off by threatening her friends could be an incredibly stupid thing to do. Look at what happened to Lucius. Do you really want to end up like that, or worse?"

"She's not that bad and she'll never be that powerful, she's just a little girl confused and misinformed by deviants, blood traitors and mudbloods. We need to bring her back into the fold, back to her real family. She is a Black and she should be standing with us at the Dark Lord's side."

"Oh Siri, you cannot or will not see the truth of this. You know how intelligent she is, do you not think that she has researched these things before she acted, blood purity means nothing to her and you are fooling yourself if you think that Alicia is not the one leading this little band of miscreants. She will not change her course now and I don't think that we should make an enemy of her by demanding that she does."

"But our Lord has commanded it and I, at least, will obey him."

"This." Bella yelled and waved he report at him. "This is how our daughter should live her life. Wild and forceful and free. I'm begging you love at least wait to see how she deals with Fudge before you write her off as a powerless pureblood breeding machine. I know you and The Dark Lord have Fudge going after her politically now, please just wait until you see the full capacity of her vengence before you commit to makng your decision."

"Fine."

"Thank-you Siri."

In her heart Bellatrix hoped she had done enough to influence her husband and possibly save his life. After reading that report on Alicia she knew that the girl was far more focused, far more insane and far more dangerous than she had ever been and that even Voldemort could not hope to stand against her. Her daughter would be the next Black Queen and their only hope was to prepare to side with her or be crushed along with her enemies. Now she just had to convince Sirius of it.

 **The Library, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 13th February 1996.**

The library was Padma Patil's favourite place in the whole castle. It was here that the shy Ravenclaw escaped the attentions of her so called 'friends' asking for her help with their homework and of idiot boys asking her to Hogsmeade for a date. As if. Dating was just such a collosal waste of her vauable time not to mention all that kissing and stuff. Eeeuw. Not that she didn't have sexual thoughts but they were always limited to her being overpowered by by some lewd, lusty and powerfull witch with loose morals and a penchant for leather so these whiney pretty boys really weren't going to do it for her. Dear Merlin she was a weirdo. Of course for the last week or so it had also been where she had been meeting up with Alice Black for their study sessions. Now there was a girl who definitely could get her motor running.

The first time Alice had ordered, not asked but _ordered_ her to fetch a book Padma had felt a familiar twinge in her nethers. It was impossible of course, the raven haired beauty could not have known what she was doing to her just by that one simple action in that commanding tone of voice, followed by a "Good girl" comment and a pat on the cheek. Alice couldn't know that this was how she wanted, longed for, _deserved_ to be treated. Could she? But knowing or not this was how their sessions continued every night for a week. The Black Princess' demands followed by her submission followed by a pat or a smile or once, when she had been a very good girl, the touch of her lips as a reward. Until tonight. Tonight it all changed.

Padma had just completed the _(not so)_ onerous task of massaging her friend's _(Mistress')_ feet and relacing her boots and was just about to turn back to her schoolwork when she felt a hand on her hip stopping her. She froze as the warm mis-matched eyes bored into hers and the High Lady of Black spoke in a bored voice at normal volume, not caring about the many interested parties listening to her, but speaking _(ordering)_ directly to Padma herself.

"Ten o'clock tommorrow night. Dis-used classroom next to the potions lab in the dungeons. Don't be late and bring a toothbrush."

Padma Patil desperately tried to keep the threatening grin from her face and replaced the much wished for shout of joy and triumph with a simple.

"Yes Mistress."

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 14th February 1996.**

Minerva McGonnagal looked at the pink, heart covered letter in front of her with disdain and considered incinerating the damn thing rather than hearing whatever awful twaddle would doubtless come spewing out as soon as it was opened. This was bloody Flitwick's fault. Every half arsed muggle excuse for a holiday the supposedly humerous little man tried to out do himself with 'holiday cheer'. Annoying wee shite. This time it was Valentine's love poems enchanted to be read in the voice of the sender, which went completely against the whole anonymous point of the bloody thing, in her view. Oh well she supposed, cleaning her monocle, she had better get it over with while there was still enough noise in the hall to cover it. She thought it would be bad but she wasn't really prepared for quite _how_ bad it ended up.

With a great booming female voice that drew every eye and ear in the place to her the letter began to recite.

 _I've fallen in love- I don't know why_  
 _I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye._

 _I knew from the start. It was plain to see_  
 _That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me_

 _She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular_  
 _Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular._

 _Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota_  
 _But that doesn't change things for me one iota._

 _It must be quite difficult if you're bereft._  
 _If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left._

 _But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision._  
 _She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision._

 _She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch_  
 _If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church._

 _I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind._  
 _And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind_. 

As Professor Sinistra Vector's magically enhanced voice faded away there was a deathly silence. For maybe three whole seconds before with a roar the entire school was laughing hysterically at the red faced transfiguration professor and her now sobbing arithmancy counterpart. The laughter stopped pretty quickly after Filius Flitwick was seen running full pelt from the Great Hall closely followed by a giant, angry hippo transfigured from a piece of bacon and the rest of the staff and students started to realise that taking the piss out of htis particular monocular witch was probably not a great idea. In the once again silent hall, Minerva rose and offered her arm to a stunned professor Vector.

"Sinistra, would you care to accompany me on a walk around the lake? I find a stroll after lunch helps settle my stomach and improve my disposition before afternoon classes."

"Errrrr. Yes?"

"Wonderfull, shall we."

The two witches walked in a stately fashion from the hall past several pale and sick looking students. They had transfiguration this afternoon and were now not looking forward to it at all.

A giggling Luna Lovegood cancelled the _sonorous maxima_ charm she had placed upon the professor's letter and replaced her wand behind her ear before turning to her shocked and open mouthed bushy haired girlfriend and giving her a long, loving kiss.

"That was fun. Soooo. Where's my poem?" 

**The Dungeons, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 15th February 1996.**

Padma woke with a fuzzy head, naked, groggy and a little disoriented although surprisingly not cold. She looked down and realised that this was mainly due to the two equally naked girls cuddled up at either side of her in the large bed that Alice had conjured for them last night. The ravenette and the redhead shifted slightly in their sleep and Padma felt an arm press against her bladder. Great, now she needed to pee. She'd have to try and get up without disturbing the Mistresses she thought trying to move her arms from above her head. There was a metallic clanking sound. Shit she was still handcufffed to the headboard. She tried to move her legs. More clanking. Double shit. This is what disobedience gets you she recalled. Totally fucked. In more ways than one. Padma Patil smirked despite the growing discomfort in her bladder and let out a long satisfied sigh.

"You don't need to be reminded of the rules again do you Puppy?"

She stilled instantly.

"No Mistress Red."

"Are you sure Puppy?" Came another voice.

"No I ... um ... I mean yes. Um ... I mean I'm sure." There was a long pause. Oh shit. "I mean yes I'm sure Mistress Black."

"Oh dear Puppy, and you were doing so well I was about to let you up. Unfortunately, however, that little slip means we have to go over the rules one more time. Now if you please." Ginny was grining at her, clearly enjoying her new role as dominatrix and co-owner of Padma 'Puppy' Patil a little too much.

Padma sighed again and closed her eyes. It didn't look like she was going to get to pee just yet. At least not in the bathroom anyway. She opened her eyes again to look at the lasciviously expectant and less than patient faces of Alice and Ginny and began to recite.

"I must always be a good puppy..."

 **Charms Classroom, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 16th February 1996.**

This was turning out to be a very interesting day indeed in Alice's opinion. First there was an extremely vigorous and enjoyable 'training' session with their new puppy in Ginny's dormitory (much to the horrified embarrasment of her room mate Jennifer), followed by a long soapy shower where her girlfriend had, once again, showed her appreciation for her Valentine's Day gift. Second was the highly amusing sight of professors McGonnagal and Vector arriving late for breakfast and all dishevelled which along with Luna's comment that they weren't the only ones who had ben having a 'morning glory' nearly made her choke on her melon. And last but not least was the extremely funny article in the Prophet outlining the Minister of Magic's latest failed attempt to marry her off to some inbred pureblood scion.

This was Fudge's second attempt at separating her from her family and Alice decided that her warning obviously hadn't been enough to discourage him from acting against her, even though nobody else in the Wizangamot was stupid enough to vote for it. None of them wanted to incur the wrath of someone who could quite clearly and blatantly get away with murdering her enemies at the very doors of the Ministry of Magic without even an investigation ocurring. She would have to figure out a more permanent solution to the Cornelius Fudge problem, perhaps Kreacher could come with something _suitable_. After all in the words of her ancestors, 'No-one crosses a Black thrice.' She would have to come up with a really good alibi though.

Alice paused in her thoughts and looked across the classroom at Padma who was being chastised by professor Flitwick for wearing non standard uniform.

"Not that it isn't a lovely dog collar miss Patil but it is rather against the rules, if you could remove it please"

"I can't" Whispered Padma.

"I'm sorry dear what was that?"

"I can't remove it professor." She said louder now. "It's permanent. My Mistresses didn't want me wandering off without a way of getting me back."

Filius Flitwick was about to argue when the girl showed him the tag _; Puppy. If found please return to Mistress Black and Mistress Red._ He stopped in his tracks, having a very good idea just who this young lady's mistresses were and decided to err on the side of caution.

"Ah yes, of course. I'll inform the rest of the staff of your new ... situation."

Chuckling along with the rest of the class Alice began to wonder just how far 'Puppy' would go for her new mistress, a little polyjuice potion and some stealthy apparition and she might be able to resolve the Fudge dilema this weekend. Alice walked up to the professor's desk to hand in her homework (a masterfull and suddenly very handy piece on the misdirection and notice me not charms) and on her way back to her own station brushed Padma's bum with her hand whispering.

"Who's a good girl?"

 **The Minister of Magic's Private Residence. 20th February 1996.**

This had proved to be a pleasant distraction for the Minister as he had used some of Cassius Nott's less savoury aquantances to secure him the service's of a 'girl for hire' for the evening, and he had needed the exercise to calm down after a terrible week at his chambers. The Wizangamot had twice now blocked his attempt to get Alice Black married off to some deservig upright young wizard who would hopefully be able to keep her in line. That was the Dark Lord's opinion anyway, he himself thought it would never work as the poor sod they persuaded to go through with it would probably not survive the engagement party let alone the wedding. But it would still be seen as a failure in Voldemort's eyes and he would be the scapegoat. Damn it all to hell if it wasn't Black trying to kill him it was Voldemort. He had a sneaking suspicion that was why Cassius had arranged this evenings entertainment as a last meal kind of a deal. No, he refused to think like this. he was the Minister of Magic and far too valuable to be simply killed off. The Dark Lord would see that he had done his best and everything would be fine. He hoped. He had finally managed to the get the tired girl to floo back to whatever loathsome brothel she had come from and was just pouring himself a large brandy when someone coughed behind him. Cornelius Fudge whirled around drawing his wand and shakilly pointed it at the shadow in the corner of the room.

"Come out assassin." His wavering voice betraying his fear at the thought of who he knew this would be.

The small figure moved into the light.

"Hewo Wabbit. Hur hur hur hur hur."

And here she was standing in front of him wearing a tweed suit and cap and carrying a large muggle shotgun over her arm. The absolute image of his worst nightmare. Lady Alice Black. Nemesis. True to form Britains worst Minister of Magic in a millenium thew aside his wand and dropped to his knees crying in abject fear.

"Please don't kill me, I'll tell you anything you want to know. Please."

"Don't worry Fudgey wudgey. I'm just here to take you to a lovely tea party where we can have a nice uninterrupted chat. You do like tea don't you?"

The Minister's response was missed due to an insane house elf administering an exquisite 'Glasgow kiss' to his still kneeling form before appparating all three of them back to Grimmuald Place.

 **No, I'm not clever enough to think up that poem it's by a chap called Andrew Jefferson published on . Thank God for google.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all. Especially you Pannthour, that was a very cool review.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"Don't worry Fudgey wudgey. I'm just here to take you to a lovely tea party where we can have a nice uninterrupted chat. You do like tea don't you?"_

 _The Minister's response was missed due to an insane house elf administering an exquisite 'Glasgow kiss' to his still kneeling form before appparating all three of them back to Grimmuald Place._

 **CHAPTER 16.**

 **DMLE Office, Ministry of Magic. 22nd February 1996.**

Ten in the morning was probably too early to start drinking but one look at the pale, disturbed and in a few cases rather green faces of some of her newer reruits had decided Amelia Bones that they all deserved a whiskey or two. Or ten. Even a couple of her more hardened aurors had nearly lost their breakfast at the scene which had greeted them in the main square at Diagon Alley.

They had been searching for the recently vanished Minister for nearly twenty eight hours when the call had come in from the Daily Prophet offices which over looked Miracle Square and her tired and exhausted staff were just completely unprepared for the macabre and utterly horrendous sight laid out in front of them. The only reason anyone could tell that the remains (you could hardly call it at body at that point) was in fact their missing person was the fact that his relatively unblemished head had been placed on a six foot sake in the middle of the horrifying mess. Cornelius Fudge had quite obviously pissed off the wrong person and despite her expecting something of the sort after last week's Wizangamot sessions Amelia was still a little overwhelmed at the awesome savagery of Lady Alice Black's vengence.

As before with the Malfoy murder there had been no physical evidence and upon enquiries being made it _appeared_ that the Head of House Black had not left Hogwarts School for the entire time. Not that she was fooled for one instant. The girl was simply brilliant and making an entire castle full of people believe that she was among them while commiting this disgusting, if fully deserved, piece of extreme mordern _art_ four hundred miles away was well within her capabilities.

Retrieving the bottle of Ogden's Finest from Moody's grasp she took a long swig and made a mental note to avoid upsetting her nieces new BFF and club president in the future and hoped like hell that she hadn't upset her too much in the past.

Rufus Scrimegour turned to her and raised his glass in a mocking toast.

"To the next Minister of Magic."

"Fuck me, I hope not."

 **The Nott Residence. 22nd February 1996. Later.**

The newspaper report was bad. The forensic crime scene photographs were worse. Much, much worse. Sirius Black had seen and done many terrible things in his life but this was carnage on a scale of which he could never have imagined and it made him almost physically sick to look upon it and think that his baby, his little princess had any part in it. Perhaps she had been coerced into siding with these filthy, murderous animals . Yes that must be it his lovely, precious, darling girl had been led astray by the blood traitors and the mudbloods and the sick homosexual sluts and forced into these terrible acts.

"You know that isn't true don't you love."

"Bella you know I hate it when you invade my mind like that."

"Yes I know, Siri. But I stand by what I say. You know she isn't led anywhere she doesn't want to go and you know that she is the one who did this. Alone, unaided and in the full knowledge of what it means and who she has set herself against. She is coming for us my love. She is coming for _him_."

"How can I stop her. How can I fight my own daughter?"

Bellatrix cackled in an eeire echo to Alice's own maniacal laughter of the previous morning while she was cutting into the Minister of Magic.

"Stop her? You can't stop her, you can only get out of the way or be smashed to the dirt beneath her boots. She is an artist. Death is her medium, the World is her canvas and she is about to paint her masterpiece."

Sirius shuddered at the thought that his wife sounded like that was a good idea, that she was proud of Alicia. He would have shuddered more if he knew just how proud and just how pleased she actually was. Mummy's little girl was growing up.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 24th February 1996.**

Parvati Patil had never been more shocked and embarassed than she was right now and it was all due to the one person that she knew in her heart would never do anything to hurt her. But still here she was sitting at the Gryffindor dinner table with Lavender, who she had dragged along for moral support, and watching helplessly as her twin sister served tea to group of scarlet uniformed girls dressed in an extremely revealing French maid's outfit while holding her own leash between her teeth. Padma was makng an absolute spectacle of herself and worse, to her mind at least, seemed to be loving every second of it. She knew too well all of her sister's expressions and the only ones that she had been able to glean from Padma's face tonight were those of happiness, exhilaration and most disturbingly of all, love. Oh yes her deviant, submissive sister was in love with not one but _two_ girls. Girls who were treating her just exactly how she liked to be treated.

It wouldn't have been quite so bad if one of those two girls hadn't been that total psycho killer bitch Alice Black. Everyone knew about Alice. They all knew that she had killed Greyback and his werewolves as well as Lucius Malfoy and now she had even somehow murdered the Minister of Magic but far from being arrested all that had happened was a brief conversation with a couple of scared looking aurors and she was back at the dinner table. Tormenting her sister. Humiliating her. Of course the fact that Padma loved being tormented and humiliated was neither here nor there, nobody treated her twin sister like that and got away with it. She would show that little bitch exactly who had the power here.

Parvati began to form in her mind the beginnings of an incredibly, stupendously and dangerously unwise plan to take Alice Black down a peg or two.

"Bitch needs to learn." She muttered. "Hey Ron, got a minute?"

At this point Lavender Brown started to move subtly away from her friend and whatever wildly stupid idea the Indian girl might be hatching in that little brain of hers. She might be a bit of an airhead but even Lavender knew that you didn't annoy the Black Princess unless you had a serious death wish.

 **Headmasters office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 25th February 1996.**

Once again the members of the Order of the Phoenix who were resident in the castle were gathered to discuss the somewhat questionable actions that may or may not have been carried out by the Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

"Albus are we sure that she was responsible, I mean I know the girl's a bit of a nutter but I just can't believe that a sixteen year old could do that to another human being. She's just a lively wee girl with looser morals than I would like and a lot of excess energy."

Severus Snape again marvelled at the ability this extraordinary young woman had to convince even the most hard headed of Scottish sceptics that she was a sweet little thing who wanted nothing more than World peace with maybe a bit of sexy fun with cute girls thrown in alonng the way. It was time that these people knew who she really was. Not that he wished her ill mind, just the opposite in fact, but they needed to know not to get in her way. He cleared his throat and spoke in a slow sad voice.

"I'm sorry Minerva but I have something that will clear up once and for all exactly what Alicia Morgana Black is capable of." Here, always the showman, he paused for dramatic effect. "When he returned and was made aware of her destruction of Greyback and the werewolves last summer the Dark Lord commisioned some specialists to investigate her. As always he wanted to know everything about someone with such obvious power and talent especially with her being from a family that had so vigorously supported him in the past." He handed around the copies of Voldemort's report and sat back to enjoy their expressions as they read.

It was nearly an hour before anyone said a word.

"Is this all true Severus?"

"Yes Remus, the investigators were extremely thorough. Plus her mother is convinced that she will be the next Dark Lady and if anyone knows a psychopath when they see one it would be Bellatrix. She must be very proud."

"So she's not just a bit nuts. She's actually dangerously, criminally insane. Dear Merlin. What on earth do we do with her now. Do we lock her up again, throw her in Azkaban and lose the key?"

"I think that would be a mistake, and I believe it would be very unwise to try it anyway." Of all the people in the room to come to the defense of a psychotic murderer no-one was surprised that it was Albus Dumbledore who spoke. "Alice Black could well be the next Morgana Le Fay, Merlin knows enough people already call her the Black Princess, but she does the things that others will never do. The things that, however unpleasant, must be done if our world is to survive. I will not directly encourage her but I will also not unecessarily make an enemy out of her. I believe it would be bad for my health"

"But what happens when Voldemort is dead and she runs out of Death Eaters to kill. Who will she turn on next?" Remus Lupin was still very confused and very unhappy. Snape's next comment didn't exactly put his mind at rest.

"Don't worry Wolfie there will always be some idiot who thinks she should be chained to a sink pushing out pureblood brats instead of ruling the known World. That should give her a plentiful supply of morons to turn into corpses."

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 27th February 1996.**

It really was amazing how incredibly quickly a good plan could could go so horribly wrong, and it had been a very good plan. A fun plan. A plan where Ron Weasley would have come out on top of that damned Black bitch who had seduced his litle sister. Quite literally. But now it had all gone to shit. He looked across at Parvati whose eyes seemed to mirror the abject terror that had rooted him to his seat.

When Parvati Patil had first talked to him Ron had thought his luck was in ... and it was just not in the way he had imagined. Her idea was simple but suitably devious and vengefull. A mixture of Veritaserum and a love potion keyed to him to be switched out as he distracted everyone by having a blazing row with Ginny over her un-natural relationship with Alice 'mental dark lezzer' Black. No-one would think twice about that, after all it had happened many times before, and give Parvati the chance to spike Black's morning coffee without being noticed. That part had gone pretty well it was only when the girl in question raised her coffee to her lips and inhaled that it started to fall apart. They had forgotten that she was some kind of insane fucking potions prodigy.

Alice had stopped, sniffed again and as Ginny was directed to hold tightly onto her leash had let Padma drink from her cup. The reaction was immediate and also fairly dramatic as his sister had to brace both legs against the table to avoid being draggged across the Great Hall and directly to him. All the while Alice Black was whispering in the Indian girl's ear and seemingly receiving an answer at last, turned to look at him and then at Parvati and then she smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was the kind of smile a crocodile gives when deciding whether or not it can eat a whole gazelle.

Ron barely managed to keep his breakfast from making a sudden reappearance and then grabbing Parvati by the hand he bolted from the Hall.

From the Hufflepuff table Alice's smile grew considerably wider.

"I love it when they run."

 **The Trophy Room, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 27th February 1996. 20 Minutes Later.**

Alice had decided to stick the two Gryffindors to the wall magically rather than use her normal sharp, pointy implements as she felt that her girlfriends might get a bet squicky about her putting holes in their siblings and suspend her sexual priviledges. No matter how much they deserved it. And they did deserve it. So very much. As far as Alice was concerned coming between her and her lovers was a crime on a par with mass genocide or punching a bunny. It was something you just did not do.

The raven haired lunatic paced up and down in front of her captives with a finger on her chin considering what punishment would be appropriate. Appropriate. Hmm. This was a word that she had always had trouble with. Things that seemed completely sane and normal to her had often resulted in other people becoming quite upset and while that wouldn't normally bother someone as sociopathic as her, over the last year or so she had suddenly found that she cared about quite a lot of them. Her family, her friends, her elves, her girlfriend even her Puppy. She cared about what they thought of her and dismembering her future brother in law was probably going to raise a few eyebrows and would definitely make family get togethers a little more tense than was absolutely necessary.

"I don't suppose anyone would mind a limp too much though. What do you think Ronald?"

There was a muffled screaming from the ginger idiot.

"Okie Dokie then." Alice chirped brightly and swung the axe.

"Hmmmm. Now you sweetie, you're a little more tricky. I don't think Puppy will be too happy if I disfigure you like that will she? No. Definitely not. So what do I do about you?"

Parvati, while glad she wasn't whimpering on the floor and bleeding profusely like poor old Ronald, was starting to get really nervous now.

"I know. I'll give you to Puppy and she can decide on your punishment. I know she's got all kinds of fun toys that she hardly ever gets to play with. Yes, that will be fun won't it Parv'?"

The girl stuck to the wall groaned and hung her head. As much as Padma was a submissive in the bedroom her sister knew that she did love to dole out a good spanking once in a while and possesed a lot of wicked looking paddles and straps with which to do the job. Leaving her twin sister to give her a punishment was totally evil genius stuff from Alice.

Padma was going to love it. Parvati? Not so much.

 **The Hogs Head, Hogsmeade. 16th March 1996.**

The old man eyed the goup of kilted girls suspiciously from behind the bar and pretended not to be listening as he made the bar slightly dirtier by wiping it with a rancid cloth made from his own old underwear. His esteemed brother Albus 'sainted' bloody Dumbledore had asked him to keep an eye on these meetings for him and report any strange events or evil plans that might be in the making but not to get caught on pain of death. Aberforth, having found out who the leader of this little group was, needed no further instructions on what would happen if he was caught listening in and, therefore, took his safety very seriously indeed.

Of course all that had been discussed so far in these meetings, as far as he could tell, was who was shagging who and what sort of tea they liked best and other such trivial nonsense. It was all a bit of a waste of time as far as he was concerned although the extra income from these gatherings was at least welcome. He stoppped his musings and turned up the listening charms in the bar as the Bones girl stood to start their meeting.

"Right everyone let's come to order. Now then as we all know the Easter holidays are fast approaching and we all need to get our excuses in line so that we can meet at Black Manor for our training fortnight. Are there any problems on that front?"

"No sergeant Bones." Chorused the gaggle off girls.

"Excellent. Has everybody learnt their manuals?"

"Yes sergeant Bones."

"Very good. Let's all work hard so we can give the mouldy old bastard the arse kicking he truly deserves."

"Aye aye sergeant Bones."

Alice sipped her tea and relaxed a little more into the deep massage that Puppy was lavishing on her neck and shoulders and smirked at the antics of her excited friends. Tanks and totty. This Easter was going to be ever so much fun.

"Panzer Vor!" Alice yelled.

"Panzer Vor!"

The shouted response by twenty over excited teenagers nearly blew out poor old Aberforth's ears as he screamed and dropped glass he had been pretending to polish. Alice sighed and smiled and pretended not to notice.

 **Hmm. Got a little dark there for a while didn't it. I'm going to blame it on SilentlyWatches and the extremely addictive Black Queen series of stories which I have been re-reading.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all, even you Yomangor although I'm struggling slightly with the concept of** _ **too much**_ **porn.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"Panzer Vor!"_

 _The shouted response by twenty over excited teenagers nearly blew out poor old Aberforth's ears as he screamed and dropped glass he had been pretending to polish. Alice sighed and smiled and pretended not to notice._

 **CHAPTER 17.**

 **Platform 9 3/4 Kings Cross station, London. 30th March 1996.**

This was just utter chaos thought Nym as she stood back with her mother and watched the twenty odd gaudily dressed teen witches running around the platform squealing, shouting, bumping into each, dropping trunks other and otherwise creating merry hell all orchestrated, no doubt, by her mad cousin and House Head. As if the thought itself had summoned her the Mentallist in Chief herself stepped off the train in the company of her red headed girlfriend and an extremely pretty Indian girl causing the whole station to go eerily silent. Nym chuckled quietly and spent a few moments looking at the expressions on the faces of those around her. Shock, awe, curiosity, love, lust and of course an overwhelming amount of fear was clearly on display for the arrival of the Black Princess and the crowd parted like the Red Sea as she led her little troop across the platform. She might be as mad as a box of frogs but Alice really did have an incredibly commanding presence when she tried.

"Hello Aunt Andi, Nym."

"Hello Alice love. My Goodness dear you seem to have aquired quite the following this term don't you? Can't think why of course. Are all of these _ladies_ coming home with us?"

"Yes indeedy doody they are." Alice grinned and then frowned a little. "You don't mind do you Auntie?"

"Of course not dear, why shouldn't you invite some friends over for the holidays, it's your house after all, and anyway Ted was just saying how quiet it was around the place since your Aunt Narcissa made the elves practice their _music_ outside."

"Aww Uncle Teddy bear just missed me."

"Trust me Alice no-one could possibly miss you." Nym said gesturing at the group grinning at her.

"Fucking smart arse." Grumbled Alice as she led her family and friends to the floo station.

 **Black Manor Suffolk. 31st March 1996.**

The letter sat unopened on her desk in the Head's study in the same position it had been when she had entered and sat down nearly half an hour ago. Alice was being careful. Her experiences with Valentines had left her a little wary of opening mail of any kind without a thorough and exhaustive scan for spells, curses and or potions. It would have been far quicker to get Aunt Andi up here to do this because although she was a prodigy in many forms of magic when it came to scans she was utterly pants, but this time she would have to persevere alone. The reason for this was that this letter was quite obviously from her dastardly parents under the guise of a communication from the vaguely respectable but still extremely icky, in her opinion, Head of the Noble House of Nott and she didn't want her family involved if she had to do something ... drastic.

After struggling with the scan for another ten minutes Alice finally admitted defeat and called for Kreacher.

"Why Miss Alice could it be that the wise, beautiful, all powerfull Black Queen is having difficulty with a simple scanning charm on a letter? No, surely not. I should have my extremities removed for even thinking such a thing could be possible."

"You know I can actually make that happen don't you Batty Man." Alice replied sweetly.

Kreacher chuckled. "Oh I know Miss Alice. But then who would you get to scan your correspondence? It's clean."

After all of the build up and all of the precautions the note itself was a bit of an anti climax.

"Midnight. 17th April. The Shrieking Shack." Alice looked puzzled. "What the fuck is a shrieking shack?"

 **The Rose Garden, Black Manor Suffolk. 11th April 1996.**

 _"This is my panzer. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My panzer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My panzer, without me, is useless. Without my panzer, I am useless. I must steer my panzer true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will..._

 _My panzer and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit..._

 _My panzer is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a sister. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my panzer clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will..._

 _Before God, I swear this creed. My panzer and I are the defenders of my school. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is ours and there is no enemy, but peace!"_

As his young charges finished their slightly modidified version of the rifleman's prayer that he made them conclude each training session with Sergeant Major David Granger, former drill instructor of Her Majesty's 12th Hussars, tried to hide his pleasure and his pride with a scowl that would have put Professor Snape to shame.

"That was an acceptable standard." If anyone who knew him well had been listening they would have been shocked to their very cores by what was, by his standards, the gushing praise he had just lavished upon his teenaged troopers.

These young women that he had been teaching the art of heavy vehicular warfare ever since his beloved daughter in law had asked him to do her 'a teensy little favour' last month, had all impressed him with their drive, skill and talent over the last ten or so days. Unlike so many of the recruits he had to train while still on active service (he did not consider himself retired so much as standing easy until his country needed him once more) these girls did not moan or whine or complain about their workload, they simply listened carefully to his orders and instructions and then acted upon them impeccably, and in the case of their leader, with ruthless efficiency. The old soldier did not have favourites (apart from his grand-daughter obviously), he was a professional, but he could appreciate the qualities that each of them brought to their troop. The big girl Milicent had a surprisingly deft and subtle touch when it came to driving any of the tanks, Cho and Ginny were absolute dead eyes when it came to gunnery and the Bones girl was a born non commisioned officer with her booming voice and her easy air of authority. The other girls weren't exactly far behind them being an intelligent bunch of multi talented multi taskers who could fulfill any role asked of them very competently. Luna was ... well, Luna. But the biggest surprise was their hostess.

Alice Black reminded him of his father's old commander who he had met once at one of their reunion parties. He had met enough murderers in the army to know that she was a stone cold killer with expressive eyes that shifted with their emotions and tinged with more than a touch of the madness that lay beneath but she was also a brilliant strategist who took to tank command like duck to water and she was fiercely loyal to her family and friends. This, he thought, was a combination that made her the very best of friends and the very worst of enemies. Sergeant Major Granger did not consider himself a stupid man by any means and he knew that the safest place for his family to be in the coming conflict was standing next to this psychotic young firebrand rather than in her path. Besides when she smiled and called him Grampa Grangy it fairly made him melt.

"So that's it Grampy G. Training's over?" The loveable little blonde that was his grand-daughter's girlfriend was looking at him expectantly. His gaze softened.

"Yes Lulu. Training's over. We'll have a passing out parade for you girls tommorrow"

Luna and Alice shared a glance before the pair of them grinned and pounced on the old man tickling him mercilessly. He managed to escape their attentions and set off at a run across the lawn.

"Woo Hoo."

"Tally Ho"

The two girls set off in hot pursuit.

"Kreacher" Hermione summoned the old elf and simply pointed at the three figures chasing around the grounds of the manor.

"I completely understand Miss."

Hermione sighed contendedly as she settled into her lounger and sipped the Margarita that Kreacher had just handed her.

"How long do you think it will be before they catch him?" Asked Hannah from the chair beside her.

"Could be a while. Grandad's pretty spry."

 **Black Manor Suffolk. 12th April 1996.**

The sheer amount of noise in the ballroom was unbelievable as the blaring music tried to compete with the excited shouts and screams of the dancers. Girls in varying states of undress were dancing wildly, slowly waltzing or just stood still making out in the middle of the dancefloor completely oblivious to whatever style of music was actually coming out of the enchanted radio. It didn't help that the radio was being supplemented by some very drunk house elves with bagpipes and drums. It was insanely loud. Nobody cared. They were all too pissed. Andromeda pulled her head back and shut the door firmly before turning to her daughter and husband.

"There is no way I'm going past that lot. I think we should find another way up to our rooms."

"Right behind you love." said Ted.

Nym paused. Hmmm a room full of drunk horny witches between her and her bedroom. Could be interesting.

"I think I'll try my luck."

Milicent giggled as she slid down the wall and landed on her bottom with a heavy thump. She was enjoying their graduation party immensely and the only thing that could make it better was if she could find her girlfriend to tell her how much she loved her. Wow she must be really drunk if she was considering using the 'L' word.

"Oooph."

A warm, sweaty body landed in her lap and as her vision cleared and she refocused the lovely face of Alicia Spinnet came into view.

"Who loves you Milly Poo? I do that's who."

"Love you too babe." Milicent, pleased that she hadn't had to say it first, kissed her, grinned at her then put her over her shoulder and carried her lover off to find a free bedroom.

"Ahhhhh, young love. Isn't it just sooooo sweet and adorable." Su Li simpered.

It probably would have sounded better if she wasn't currently the filling in a Greengrass sandwich. The sisters, it seemed, weren't in the boys club after all and she had learned that they liked to share. Gotta love these old pure blood families. Perverts the lot of them. Not that Su was complaining mind.

It was very a long night and no-one escaped a hangover except Nym. And even she woke up sore. Just in a more fun way.

 **Gryffindor Common Room, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 15th April 1996.**

Harry Potter had been doing a lot of thinking over the Easter holiday. He had been on his own in the castle for the most part and had had a lot of time on his hands since Snape's occlumency lessons had all but dried up now so it was only natural that his thoughts turned inwards. There had been two main topics for his mind to dwell on.

Firstly there was the ever present shadow of Voldemort and his position as the 'Boy who Lived' and champion of the light, though this seeemed to be a decreasing issue due to the rise of the Black Princess. That girl was properly scary and properly mental and she seemed to have a bit of a bone to pick wth the Dark Lord so Harry figured that he'd just leave her to it and hope she did him a favour by offing old snakeface so he wouldn't have to get involved. It was a slim hope but Voldy's supporters were dwindling fast thanks to the trail of death and destruction that Alice Black left in her wake, so it was getting stronger every day.

The second thing that had been on his mind was his increasing affection for Neville. Gay and straight to Harry had been kind of meaningless words as he had never been attracted to anyone, he had always been sort of asexual. Girls, boys it had simply never come up. Pun not intended. But now his fair haired friend's constancy and dedication to him was making him look at Neville Longbottom in a whole new exciting and possibly romantic way. Of course it didn't hurt that Nev had slimmed down and filled out in all the right directions. Harry wondered if there might be a fireman's helmet and a stripper pole in the castle. He'd have to ask Alice. She was bound to have one, maybe both if he was lucky.

 **The Shrieking Shack, Hosmeade. 17th April 1996.**

"Well. This is kind of fucking awkward."

As always, Alice was the mistress of understatement.

She faced the two black haired, black clad people that she assumed were her parents and yawned dramatically.

"You know you could have chosen a more reasonable time of day for this I had to leave my nice warm bed and my even nicer and even warmer girlfriends to come to this shit hole. Red and Puppy were not amused let me tell you."

"I don't care what your deviant, filthy little blood traitor whores think girl, we will meet when and where I say or you will regret it."

Bellatrix peered hard through the gloom into Alice's mismatched eyes, one so like her own, the other a very fetching shade of hazel and shivered a little at the thought of how her daughter had aquired it. Those same mad, delicate eyes now went quickly from amused to murdeous and she surrupticiously shifted a couple of feet away from her husband.

"Are you _really_ trying to come the whole stern parental authority figure with me Mister Black, 'cause that's not going to end too well for you." The obviously seething girl paused before giving him a nasty smile. "Oh and one more derogatory comment about any of my girls _Daddy_ and I'll cut your fucking balls off."

Bella shifted a little further away.

"Why can you not see, Alicia. How have these degenerate mudbloods affected your mind like this? You need to open your eyes to the truth, to _his_ truth. You need order and discipline in your life and a husband to guide you. The Dark Lord will make you see. _He_ will make you whole again."

With this Sirius grabbed at his daughter's arm and attempted to apparate them to Nott Manor. It didn't work. There was a series of pops and suddenly the shack was full of kilted elves glaring fiercely and waving large spiky weapons. The young woman didn't appear to notice as she advanced on a now nervous looking Sirius. Bellatrix watched in awe as Alice decked her own father with a swift, brutal kick to the gonads and stood over the bloody fool snarling and spitting in her fury.

"I. Am. The. High. Lady. Alicia. Morgana. Black. And. You. Do. Not. Fucking. Touch. Me. Ever. EVER!" She punctuated each word with another vicious kick to the man's genitals.

She seemed to notice her audience for the first time and turned to Bella.

"We're not going to have a _problem_ are we Mother?"

Bellatrix Black weighed her options and decided that if you couldn't beat them you might as well join them.

"My Lady, A child of Black seeks sanctuary in the House of her birth."

"Oh." Bella could swear that her daughter looked almost disappointed at not being able to dish out more violence. "Super. 'kay then. Sanctuary is granted."

The older witch sighed with relief as the psychotic teen turned away from her.

"Dopey, dear." Alice indicated the oversized carrot that her least intelligent elf was brandishing. "What exactly were you going to do with that?"

"Push it in his poo hole Miss Alice like that game you play with Miss Ginny. You know. Hide the carrot. it looked fun." He smiled as his Mistress cocked her head and grinned at him.

"It is at that. Perhaps later then. Kreach could you be a dear and take Mummy back to the manor. Oh and I suppose you'd better take that old whimpering fuckwit over there too. I'l deal with him at the weekend."

"Yes Miss Alice."

"Right I'm going back to bed. All this violence and no actual killing has left me with a bit of an _apetite_. I'm sure Red and Puppy can help me out with that."

Bellatrix blinked a little as the house elves gathered her husband and prepared to apparate. She had just switched her allegiance from a Dark Lord with a pure blood agenda to a Dark Lady who seemed to want nothing more than copious amounts of death and sexy funtime. Had it really been this easy? Meh. Fuck it at least this way she might get to have a little fun along the way.

 **Sorry for the delay, the inspiration fairy went on a little vacation but now she's back and kicking my arse with her hobnail boots. Expect another chapter this week.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Bellatrix blinked a little as the house elves gathered her husband and prepared to apparate. She had just switched her allegiance from a Dark Lord with a pure blood agenda to a Dark Lady who seemed to want nothing more than copious amounts of death and sexy funtime. Had it really been this easy? Meh. Fuck it at least this way she might get to have a little fun along the way._

 **CHAPTER 18.**

 **Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 18th April 1996.**

"Come in Miss Black." He called through the door before she had the chance to knock.

"Hello Headmaster Dumbelly, may I have a sweetie please?"

Albus chuckled lightly and pushed the bowl towards her as the raven haired nutter known as Lady Black announced herself with her usual complete and utter lack of regard for decorum and formality, dropped into a chair and reached for the lemon drops.

"How can I help you today then Miss Black?"

"Ummm. Well. Theeshe shweetsh are really good by the way. So I know we've only just come back but I kind of need to go home this weekend for ... uh ... family business."

"I see. Would this family business have anything to with your little outing to the shrieking shack last night?"

"Ah."

"Ah indeed."

"So Headmaster. How much do you know and what, if anything, are you going to do about it?"

"Well young lady, I know that you were due to have a conversation with your parents around the Easter holidays and I know that you accessed the tunnel behind Sir Roger de Quincy's suit of armour late last night and I also know that my alarms on the shrieking shack's front door went off shortly afterwards. The rest would be pure speculation on my part."

Alice's eyes twinkled in amusement. She loved talking to the white bearded old wierdo as his oddity and feigned senility never failed to make her smile with genuine pleasure. She sat back and waved her hand regally.

"Entertain me with your speculation Professor Dumbles."

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore outright laughed at that and also leaned back in his chair.

"Alright then Alice. I believe that you went to the shrieking shack to have a pre arranged meeting with your parents where they probably tried to persuade you to join their Master's cause. I further believe that you responded in the negative and that a small _contretemps_ may have ensued and since you are sitting here asking me for time off to attend to family matters that it did not go so well for either of them. Tell me are they both still alive and in one piece or did that famous temper of yours get the better of you?"

"Hmmmm. Not bad. You're half right. Daddy and I got into a bit of an argument about my lifestyle choices and I may have got a teensy bit ... _physical_... when putting my point of view to him. Mummy however was surprisingly reasonable."

"Yes your mother always was the brains of the operation. Mad as a bicycle of couse but still quite the intellectual thinker and a bit of a strategist when she could be bothered. Tell me did she ask you for sanctuary right away or did she wait until your little altercation with your father was over."

Now it was Alice who was the one laughing. She managed to stop after a minute or so before she caught the old man's extremely amused, twinkling eye and that set both of them off again. It took the pair a liitle while to get themselves under control again.

"Of course you may have the weekend to attend to your family business Miss Black. You can leave after classes on Friday just be back for dinner on Sunday night."

"Thank you Headmaster." She paused and grinned at him. "Senile my arse."

His uproarious laughter followed her from the office and all the way down the spiral staircase.

 **The Old Wine Cellar, Black Manor Suffolk. 21st April 1996.**

When he awoke this time Sirius decided that there was something different about his situation. For one thing he was not alone. Alicia was stood regarding him with mild dis-interest along with his mother's old house elf Kreacher and another very stupid looking elf holding a large box of matches. Also there was something extremely uncomfortable that seemed to be lodged up his bottom and whatever it was appeared to have a long thin wire attached to it that snaked across the floor to the other side of the dank cellar.

Sirius had been looking forward so much to some father daughter bonding time ever since the Dark Lord had retrieved him from Azkaban in January but this was not quite how he had imagined it would go. He looked up from his prone position strapped to a torturers wheel, secured to the wall of a cellar that had once housed the most extensive and expensive collection of wines in Magical Britain and whimpered slightly at the sight of his little girl toying with a wicked looking, foot long cleaver with a dreamy smile on her face. She was so much like her mother in so many ways but the madness evident in those strange eyes when she looked at him surpassed that of Bella's by a quite staggeringly large margin. The amount of self control it took to not empty his bladder as she suddenly locked eyes with him and he found himself drowning in her terrifying gaze was only achieved with a great deal of effort.

"So. _Daddy_. Any more thoughts on my love life, career path or the general direction of my life or have you finally learned to keep your stupid fucking mouth shut in my presence."

Despite his current position Sirius Black decided that he must try at least once more to bring the girl into line. He was her father after all. She would realise that and do her duty and obey him. He would make see the error of her ways and make her accept the Dark Lord's truth about all these savages that she was spending her time with and she would direct her talent for destruction upon them instead. And then he would deal with that traitorous bitch Bellatrix. Yes this time she would see the truth and understand it.

The pain adled brain currently residing in Sirius' head tried valiantly to stop the ill advised words from falling out of his mouth but it simply wasn't quick enough to prevent it. Or the inevitable new pain that would surely follow.

Alice regarded the broken man cooly as the torrent of stupidity flowed from his cracked lips. She _was_ going to wait patiently and politely for him to finish but after about twenty seconds she changed her mind.

"Bored now." She interrupted and nodded to Dopey.

The elf grinned hugely and lit the fuse.

 **Main Sitting Room, Black Manor Suffolk. 21st April 1996.**

The three Black sisters Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix sat in the well appointed sitting room and sipped at their rather lovely and outrageously expensive Assam tea while chatting quietly among themselves. Andromeda and her siblings had been raised to respect this time of day and to treat their tea time with an almost religious reverence so there were no heavy topics to dwell upon just small talk and light conversation. Their pleasant little tea party was interrupted, however, by Alice who did not seem to hold it in such high regard.

"Boom Motherfucker!"

The exhuberant scream from the celllars echoed throughout the whole manor and was followed soon after by a dull, rather wet sounding thump of an explosion. Narcissa Black looked up at her older sister and studied her still beautiful, stoic face before smilng sympathetically.

"Oh dear it sounds as if Alice has exhausted her patience. Were you _terribly_ fond of your husband Bella dear?"

If anyone could understand the conflicting emotions of having their insane, bloodthirsty niece murder their husband it was her and from the sounds that had been issuing from underneath their feet, just like with Lucius, it would not be pleasant and it would not be pretty. It would be worse for her sister of course as Bellatrix, unlike her, had actuallly loved her husband at one point.

Kreacher appeared in the sitting room and interrupted her ruminations.

"I beg your pardon Mistress Andromeda but dinner will be a little late. Miss Alice has made a bit of a mess in the cellar."

As if this point needed to be accentuated a piece of pink flesh dropped off of the elf's blood soaked uniform sleeve and hit the floor with a sickening plop.

Bellatrix Black raised her teacup in salute.

"You really should have listened to me Siri. Sleep well my love."

Her sisters remained silent but also raised their cups in salute. Bella smiled at their unspoken support before going to find her daughter so that she could help her clean herself up. She knew from long experience just how terribly hard it was to get brain matter out of your hair.

 **Gryffindor Common Room, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 22nd April 1996.**

Ginny Weasley ignored everyone in the room as she kept a close watch on the door that led out of Gryffindor tower. She hadn't eaten, hadn't slept for two days and for the past hour she had now not even been pretending to be doing her homework but was just staring. Waiting. The love of her life would be walking through that door any time now and Ginny would be there for her, to give her anything that she needed from solace to alcohol to sex. Ginny would be there. She knew Hermione and the three quiddtch chasers in the room were concerned for her but quite honestly she didn't care. For Ginny right now only one person existed in her world. Alice.

Three days previously had probably been the only time that she or anyone else for that matter had ever seen the eternally cheerfull, always strong Alice Black break down in tears about what it was that she had to do this weekend. Alice's idiot father had caused the young woman actual emotional pain with his views and beliefs and actions at the shrieking shack on Monday night and his consequent refusal to change them, according to the letter from her cousin Nym, something that had never happened to her before and she hadn't handled it at all well. Ginny had watched over her while she decimated target dummies with her axe, held her while she sobbed and raged alternately and kept the pair of them away from any prying eyes while Alice contemplated doing the unthinkable. Killing a family member. Her actual father no less. But she knew that whatever she felt about it, whatever pain it caused her Alice would still do it because it needed to be done to keep her and her loved ones safe and secure.

Finally the door opened and there she was, her life, her heart, her Alice. Ginny was at her side instantly shielding her from the curious stares and leading them gently to her dorm room. As they entered Jennifer looked up and nodded in understanding at Ginny before leaving the two of them alone.

"How did it go love, are you alright?"

"Actually once I got going it was fine. I found that I just had to remind myself what an utter fucking moron he was and how I'm always right and that genetics don't mean shit." Alice paused and wrapped her girl in a tight embrace. "Aunt Andi and Aunt Cissy were great as well. So was Mummy actually. She was a really good sport about the whole thing. She is pretty nuts though."

"That's good then."

"It made me think. About wasted opportunities and about family and about not wasting time."

She was looking strangely at Ginny and seemed to nod to herself before taking something out of her back pocket and handing her the open ring box with the large but still tastefull diamond and ruby engagement ring nestled in its velvety depths.

"I was thinking that after your birthday in August we might get married ... If you want to of course ... I mean I'll understand if you don't ... because of ..."

The sentence was never completed as a squealing Ginny Weasley wrapped herself around her and smothered her in kisses before whispering the one word that brought Alice to her knees.

"Yes."

 **SHAGS Club Room, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 23rd April 1996.**

Alice swept into the club room with Padma on her right arm and Ginny on her left in extremely high spirits and ready to get this meeting underway with a review of their tank training fortnight at the Manor.

"Good evening everybody I thought we'd start off tonight by ..."

"Woah, woah, woah there Princess." Daphne interrupted. "I thought _I'd_ start off by asking what the buggery fuck is that enormous fucking rock on Ginger girl's left ring finger."

"What this?" said Ginny innocently and lifting her hand for all to see. "It's just my beautiful, gigantic shiny ruby and diamond fucking engagement ring! That's all."

The squeals that followed this announcement were heard all the way over in the library causing Madame Pince to purse her lips and mutter to herself about 'noisy bloody hooligans'.

"Right." Shouted Susan above the bedlam. "New order of business. Sally, lock the door. Cho, Tori, conjure us up some beds and some sofas. Hermione, get some elves in here with some ... "

"BOOZE!" Came the unanimous shout.

"That's right girls. Let's Party!"

In the whole history of Hogwarts no party had ever been quite this wild or quite this drunken or quite this loud. Testament to this was the sheer number of stunned, confused and incredibly bloody jealous students gathered outside of the club room that night. That is until professors MacGonnagal and Vector arrived on the scene and the cry went up.

"Scatter."

"Minerva dear, what is that terrible noise?"

"Well I'm not entirely sure but I believe it could be singing. Maybe. Possibly. Sort of. At a guess."

The heavy door seemed to do nothing to even slightly muffle the volume of the sounds coming from within.

 _"If there's a lot on your mind it's there to help you forget,_

 _To relax and rewind and leave behind the regret,_

 _First sip makes you well before you know it it's time,_

 _And you're saying to hell with the salt, lemon and lime,_

 _Salt, lemon and lime, time Tequila,_

 _That's the curse of Tequila... "_

Twenty three very pissed girls sang along at the tops of their voices to the radio set on non stop party hits.

"Do you want to try and stop it?"

"Stop Alice Black from doing something that she loves to do that's non lethal, not overly destructive and only seems to piss off Pince and Filch. Not on your Nelly, love."

The two witches chuckled and leaving the SHAGS club girls to it headed off to the Deputy Headmistress' quarters to indulge in some fun of their own.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 24th April 1996.**

As lunchtime rolled around the group of very dishevelled looking teen witches collapsed gratefully into their seats at the closest table to the entrance, much to the disgust of the Slytherins whose table it was, and rested their heads on forearms groaning and trying to fight off their nausia. Alice raised her head slowly and looked up to the top table to see all of their professors staring at them. Pince looked furious, MacGonnagal and Vector were smiling indulgently, Flitwick and Snape were mildly amused and Dumbledore was grinning and chuckilng, his merry old eyes twinkling as usual. She smiled carefully at them and gave a cautious wave before regretting the movement and laying her head back down on the table top to stop the room from spinning so violently.

"A couple of quick announcements students before you start your afternoon classes."

An evil smile crossed Deputy Headmistress MacGonnagal's face as she heard the groans from the red coated girls at the Slytherin table. Just to make sure she turned her _sonorus_ up a couple of notches.

"Due to an extra special event taking place on the grounds this weekend the Gryffindor versus Slytherin quidditch match has been moved up to Seven o'clock this evening."

At this the three chasers heads shot up with pale, sweaty faces though the movement was too much for Katie who promptly vomited in her girlfriends lap to the great amusement of the hall. The laughter soon stopped.

"Also thanks to certain young ladies who feel that our morning lessons are optional, each house will lose ten points for everyone who did not attend class today. That is ten points per sudent per class. Please continue with your meals."

There was a mass of grumbling and moaning from all four tables as the points deducted.

"Everyone's staring at us. We should go." Said Hermione.

"Fuck 'em. Too tired. Don't care."

"Come on let's just get to class shall we." The bushy haired one continued relentlessly.

"I vote for bed."

"Luna, what the fuck!"

"Seconded."

 _"Really_ Cho you're supposed to be a Ravenclaw for God's sake"

"Show of hands?" Alice asked.

There was a general lethargic waving of limbs from all but one of them.

"Awesome. Right girls. Back to the club room. Last one there has to clean up after Katie 'the lightweight' Bell."

Unseen by the girls their unco-ordinated, stumbling progress from the hall was the source of much amusement at the professor's table promting general laughter and even the quiet exchange of a few galleons between certain members of staff and their Deputy Head who grinned broadly before placing her winnings inside her robes warming the cockles of her frugal Scottish heart. She could always rely on Alice to flout the rules in favour of her own agenda. Even if that agenda was just sleeping off the mother of all hangovers.

 **This week's song choice is Tequila by Terrorvision.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _Unseen by the girls their unco-ordinated, stumbling progress from the hall was the source of much amusement at the professor's table promting general laughter and even the quiet exchange of a few galleons between certain members of staff and their Deputy Head who grinned broadly before placing her winnings inside her robes warming the cockles of her frugal Scottish heart. She could always rely on Alice to flout the rules in favour of her own agenda. Even if that agenda was just sleeping off the mother of all hangovers._

 **CHAPTER 19.**

 **The Study, Nott Manor. 26th April 1996.**

" _Crucio ... crucio ... CRUCIO_."

Lord Voldemort's eyes were gowing red and he seemed more alive than he had done in weeks. Despite his current staffing troubles he was having a great deal of fun. Once he had let loose with this particular curse he had found it extremely difficult to stop. The upside was that it was his absolute favourite spell and always guaranteed to cheer him up no matter what his mood. The downside was that if used too much on his followers it tended to turn them into useless, drooling vegetables. Not that Peter Pettigrew could get much more useless than he already was mind. One more? Fuck it, why not.

" _Crucio_."

The other three death eaters in the room were becoming surprisingly less and less nervous as The Dark Lord continued to take out his frustrations on the unfortunate rat animagus writhing on the floor in agony. None of them were exactly fond of the dumpy little man and they couldn't care less if he didn't survive the torture curse but right now they would all have kissed him , tongues and all, for improving their Lord's mood with his sacrifice. Finally the cursing ended and Voldemort turned from the dying fool on the floor and faced his subordinates.

"That's better." He stated. "Now. Is there any news on Sirius or Bellatrix?"

"None my Lord."

"Your assessment Cassius."

Cassius Nott knew he had to walk a very carefull line here to avoid joining Pettigrew. Lord Voldemort liked and demanded to be told the truth at all times but, on the other hand, the Blacks were his absolute favourite little pets and badmouthing them or suggesting that they weren't up to their given task was an incredibly dangerous thing to do. Cassius gathered his courage and began.

"As for their disappearance I believe that there are two options my Lord. The first is that they failed to convince the girl to join you and have either been captured or killed. The second and less likely option, in my opinion, is that they failed to convince the girl to join you and have sided with her against us."

"Continue."

Shit. He really ddn't want to keep going down this line of thought but it looked like Voldemort wasn't going to let him off the hook.

"In either case My Lord it does not bode well for us. We would miss their brilliance in battle if she has killed them as she did Lucius or Fudge, but if she has managed to turn them ... well that is a whole different level of trouble."

"So Cassius. You seem to be suggesting that there is a possibility that Sirius and Bellatrix Black, the first, staunchest and most loyal of all my supporters have somehow been persuaded to fight against me by a muggle raised pervert with little or no grip upon the realities of our world or any other for that matter."

Cassius nodded cautiously.

"You're a moron _. CRUCIO_."

Lord Voldemort sighed as he eased himself into comfortable armchair a couple of hours later and started to relax after the morning's strenuous but strangely calming bout of torture and murder. He now had to plan a trip to the continent to visit the vampire covens and the giant clans to garner allies and replenish his ranks. he wasn't prepared to wait any longer. This Autumn he was going to launch his assault upon the Wizarding World with full force and by the Winter that mental little bitch Alice Black and her sick cohorts would be nailed to crosses lining the road to the Ministry. His Ministry.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 28th April 1996.**

His breakfast sat untouched before him as Dumbledore sat, fingers on temples gazing off into space and ruminating heavily on what must be done for 'The Greater Good'.

The news from Severus Snape's little visit to Nott Manor had the Headmaster in a bit of a quandary. The disappearance of the Blacks had seemingly caused the Dark Lord to accelerate his plans and leave the country to gather his old allies in magical Europe. Tom, it appeared, far from being rattled by Alice's efforts to remove his most usefull and most trusted lieutenants was actually moving his time frame up to deny her the opportunity to completely dismantle his organisation. It was a clever move but then Albus Dumbledore had never doubted his old enemy's intelligence, just his wisdom in his ideals and his methods in achieving them. Now a decision had to be made. Did he also move up his plans?

Albus considered his options and decided that yes he must also move forward, starting the hunt for Voldemorts horcruxes early while he was off on his jolly on the continent. They probably wouldn't get a better opportunity than this, especially with the access that they now had to 12 Grimmuald Place and the Black family vault and, of course, they had the perfect huntress. Alice Black. If he could persuade the insane young woman that this would be not just the right thing but the fun thing to do then Harry could rest easy and enjoy what remained of his regrettably short life in peace until he was needed for his final sacrifice. The old man shook his head sadly. He had hoped for a better outcome for the boy but now there was just no time.

Harry would die and make Voldemort mortal then Alice would kill him in her own rather unique style and drag their world kicking and screaming into the future. Probably by the balls. It wasn't the outcome that he had envisioned for all these years but it would have to suffice. Needs must when the Devil drives.

 **The Stables, Black Manor Suffolk. 2nd May 1996.**

The two younger Black sisters stood in the entrance of what had become known as the Tank Garage watching Bellatrix as she stalked around her daughter's favourite mark four panzer looking critically at it's parts while every now and then consulting the operations manual. She was now slowly stroking her wand against the side of her leg and tapping her chin still staring thoughtfully at the tank when a dreamy smile started to spread across her face. Narcissa and Andromeda regarded their older sibling with growing aprehension.

"Why do you think she has got a rabbit on top of her head?"

"I don't know. Why did she paint her arse blue and dance around in the moonlight singing Wierd Sisters songs to a bloody flagpole the other night? She's batshit fucking insane."

Despite the tone of her words Narcissa was smiling as she watched her eldest sister's odd behaviour. The blonde was actually incredibly pleased to have her much admired Bella back in her life. When she had been a little girl Narcissa had worshipped the ground that her strange violet eyed, raven haired sister had walked on and had tried to follow her everywhere and copy her every move. Looking back it must have been a terrible inconvenience for the teenager to have a six year old girl always hanging off her arm but Bellatrix had never once complained and had never tried to get rid of her, instead actually bringing 'her special little Cissy' into her mad schemes and adventures. Of course Andi, the sensible one, always scolded the pair of them after they got caught but it seemed that this too was part of their ritual and cemented the closeness and the solitarity between the trio.

"Aha! Yes, yes. That will be perfect."

Bella stopped her tapping and thinking and began to cast, weaving a complex pattern with her wand as she danced like a ballerina around the tank while the snowy white bunny perched in her hair tried it's hardest to keep it's comfortable and comforting seat. The massive war machine began to glow an eerie blue as it asorbed the magical energy being directed from the wand, fading slowly as the mad witch came to a halt directly facing it and paused. Time for a test.

"I don't remember the words but. BANG!"

A hugely overpowered explosive curse smashed into the panzer and instead of blowing the thing to bits the _reducto_ shattered on contact with the magically enhanced machine leaving it intact and unharmed but hitting pretty much everything else in the garage. Including the other unprotected vehcles.

"Well that kind of worked. I suppose."

Bellatrix Black stood totally unharmed in the midst of the smoking ruin and chaos that she had just caused and grinned massively before thinking that by the time they were finished with him Lord Voldemort would be nothing more than a bad smell in the disabled toilet of history. She tickled the now singed but still seemingly unflappable white rabbit on her head that she was seriously considering naming Lady Huffington Psmth the Third and surveyed the devastation around her with a guilty (ish) smirk.

"Whoops."

 **Ancient Runes Classroom, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 3rd May 1996.**

"Attention please class. As some of you have no doubt heard the rumours I shall address them now so that we may continue our lesson without any interruptions."

Professor Bathseda Babbling was standing before them and suddenly feeling every one of her ninety some years. Her memory was so bad now that she couldn't even remember how old she was and it was starting to affect her teaching thus making the decision to retire a relatively simple one for her. She would miss it of course and her interaction with all the bright young things that she had taught over the years but it was time to go. Time to let someone else impart the knowledge of what she believed was the most important subject in the school. Of course all the teachers believed their subject to be the most important taught at Hogwarts but that didn't shake her conviction one bit. Ancient runes was definitely the most important.

"I shall be retiring at the end of this school year and moving on to do a little research and perhaps do some writing if I feel enough motivation. Your classes will be continued next year by an extremely well qualified and intelligent witch who has made some amazing breakthroughs in Runes over the last year."

"Who is it professor?"

"Fleur Delacour."

Ginny went rigid and her eyes shot to her best friend filled with worry and concern. She needn't have bothered though as the blonde was smiling beautfically and seemed to to be taking it all in her stride.

"Oooh that will be nice."

"Aren't you worried Lu? I mean your girlfriend's ex is going to be teaching here next year in close proximity to you both. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Mmmm? Oh yes. It means that I'll get to thank her for teaching Hermione that 'rimming' thing. Gosh that's lovely. Have you tried it yet? You really should. I'm sure Alice would go absolutely nuts for it. Well more nuts than usual anyway."

"Don't ever change Lulu." The redhead giggled making a mental note to look through Alice's rather large library of sex books for that 'rimming' thing. That definitely did sound like a lot of fun.

When the SHAGS girls got together at lunch the _only_ topic of conversation, much to Hermione's embarrassment, was the the former Beaubaxton's Tri-Wizard Champion and future Ancient Runes Professor and all the fun little things that she had taught the bushy haired bookworm last year.

"Bloody hell Hermione, I can't believe you'd actually _do_ that. I mean. Just. Wow."

The girl in question groaned loudly and her head hit the table as she tried to cover her blushes.

"Don't worry Hunny Bunny I love it when you put your tongue in my ... "

"Luna!" Hermione's head shot up and she clamped her hand over her girlfriend's mouth. "Why would you tell people ... that."

"Well it's Fleur Delacour. Why wouldn't I?" The blonde looked confused.

"Fleur ... " Chorused the other girls longingly.

"Ah had such a _gallous_ crush on her all of last year. She's sooo gorgeous." admitted the blushing Cho.

Alice Black decided then and there that she was going to help her beautiful Scottish friend get her girl. Oh yes. The next school year was going to be a lot of fun. Girls would run riot, rules would be broken, teachers would be shagged. Fun fun fun.

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 14th May 1996.**

"I'd really rather not Cissy, I don't think she likes me very much." Emma Granger said nervously while being dragged to a rendezvous with all three of the Black sisters.

"Nonsense dear, of course she likes you. Who wouldn't? You're adorable. Anyway even if she didn't like you she wouldn't _do_ anything about it, not when you have the favour of her darling daughter."

Emma wasn't so sure about that. So far she and Dan had only shared the occasional meal with Bellatrix and they had all been rather uncomfortable affairs with the black haired witch staring at them both intensely and not saying a word beyond occasionally asking for the salt. She had the feeling that they were being carefully studied and their full measure taken.

"Here we are." Narcissa threw open the bedroom door and Emma was hit in the face with a speeding pillow.

"Sleepover!"

A slightly drunk and giggling Andromeda fell noisily off the bed and face planted the floor.

"I think Alice's little soiree at Easter has rubbed off on her a bit." Mused her younger sister.

"We're having a sleepover?"

"That's right sweetie." Bellatrix joined the conversation for the first time and sidled up to shocked and nervous looking woman putting an arm around her. "I want to know why my family likes you so much and I intend to find out. One way or another. Tell me have you ever heard of something called a crucio"

Alice's deranged mother grinned and winked as Emma tried to back away.

"Don't worry luvvie we've got all night"

"Oh fuck." She said as the lock on the door clicked shut behind her.

 **Headmasters Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 4th June 1996.**

As he was preparing to invite her into his office Alice charged through the door and leapt on Dumbledore planting a huge wet kiss on his cheek.

"Hi big D. Did you miss me?"

"You know that whatever dastardly deed you're planning on this isn't going to help, don't you?"

"Is that because you're too busy lusting after professor Furball?"

The headmaster chuckled and pushed the grinning lunatic off his lap. "Go and sit over there you cheeky witch."

She threw herself into the indicated chair and immediately reached for the lemon drops which he amsued himself with by wandlessly moving them just out her reach and watching her frowning at him.

"How are your exams going Alice?"

"Sweeties first then talk." The young woman pouted.

He finally relented much to her delight and they had a fun couple of minutes discussing her OWLs before he decided to get to the point.

"I called you here Alice because I have a problem and I find myself in need of your contacts and your ... unique skills."

"Okie dokie Headman. What do you need done."

"Well it seems that before his defeat last time your old friend 'Mouldy shorts' created several horcruxes. Put simply a horcrux is a soul jar that can be used to keep yourself from the clutches of death and return when the appropriate rituals have been completed ... "

Alice stopped listening to his explanations and immediately put up her occlumency shields that she had been working on with her Aunts. She knew all about horcruxes and soul jars having come across them in one of Granny Wal's old books in their vault. She had decided that being immortal sounded pretty fucking useful and had buried herself in researching them them thoroughly and exhaustively for a few months last year. That was how she knew what someone had tried to do with the cup in her vault and also the locket in Kreach's room at Grimmuald Place. That was also how she knew that they didn't work. I mean _really_ what kind of idiot believed that you could cheat Death.

Still it created an opportunity for her to get something she wanted without having to give up any time or effort so she could just focus on spending the summer getting married and having lot's of sex with her new wife and their Puppy. Awesome. Alice did her best to wait politely for the headmaster to finish up asking her to hunt down the horcruxes for disposal and trying to make it sound fun without fidgeting too much before she weighed in.

"Hmmm. Alright then sounds like a bit of a giggle I'm in. But if I'm going to do this for you I'm going to want something in return."

"I live to serve My Lady." He smirked. "What can this lowly school teacher do for the mighty Black Princess?"

"The school teacher? Not much. The Chief Warlock of the Wizangamot, however, is an entirely different matter."

Albus found his interest signficantly piqued at the use of his formal title.

"Ah. So how may the Chief Warlock assist you?"

"Well. I'd quite like to go shopping with Mummy. She has the most terrible taste in clothes you know. Seriously. All black? Dull-o-rama. Anyway I'd like to take her shopping and I don't really want to have to deal with everyone trying to arrest her every five minutes so if you could get her an official pardon that would lovely."

"I see and what of your father?"

"Ummm. Yeeees. That's not going to be an issue."

"Dare I ask why not?"

"Well he's kind of decorating the cellar at Black Manor at present ... well bits of him are anyway."

"Farewell mister Black then." The old man smiled and shook his head. He had kind of been expecting Sirius to end up like that since the proud, arrogant young man had joined Voldemort's ranks all those years ago.

"Very well young lady, scrape up what you can of him and I'll see what I can do for your mother. Perhaps she was brainwashed by her terrifying brute of an abusive husband and co-erced into comitting those horrible crimes?" He grinned at her. "What do you think Lady Black?"

"It is undoubtably as you say Chief Warlock." Her grin matched his. "Let me know if you need help convincing the Wizangamot members. I'm told I can be quite ... _persuasive_."

As was becoming their usual routine now, she left and he laughed.

 **An Alice and Dumbles scene to finish just for you Kapuis.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Updates will be slower now only one or two a week as I'm back at work but you guys have encouraged me enough to continue, so once again thanks.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"It is undoubtably as you say Chief Warlock." Her grin matched his. "Let me know if you need help convincing the Wizangamot members. I'm told I can be quite ... persuasive."_

 _As was becoming their usual routine now, she left and he laughed._

 **CHAPTER 20.**

 **Schloss Straussner, Vienna, Austria. 9th July 1996.**

From the shadows in the corner of the plush drawing room Selene watched as her coven leader spoke with the strange looking almost human and tried not to grind her sharp little fangs with her frustration over the whole situation. She was a fucking Death Dealer for fucks sake, she should be out hunting lycans not stuck in here listening to this bloody inane whining drivel. She simply didn't understand why Viktor had wanted her here since she wasn't allowed to be involved with the conversation or to be noticed or even to breathe loudly. Not that she breathed loudly. Or at all in fact.

Selene had been made a vampire a hundred and twelve years ago when she was a mere seventeen years old. She had been made by Viktor himself, the most powerful of the three remaining coven leaders in Europe and had fast risen through the ranks of their group to be the ruthless hunter and killer that she now undoubtably was. Practised with guns, knives, swords and axes she was feared by both vampire and lycan and was her leader's go to girl for all kinds of wet work from sneaky assasinations to all out bloody battles. That was why her current situation was so confusing and so frustrating. Standing quietly and listening weren't exactly her kind of thing. Realising that Viktor would be pissed if she couldn't recall the conversation Selene tuned back in just as things got interesting.

"And I'm telling you no Tom. I've got a full on war with the lycans going on and I can't spare any of my people to help you out on your little crusade. Besides I still remember the broken promises from that last bloody fiasco of yours. The Austrian coven will not be involved this time."

She perked up a bit at the thought that he might want her to dispose of this clearly unwanted guest and started to slowly reach for her tanto hidden beneath her coat.

"But what of our great alliance Vik ... "

"ENOUGH."

Once the obviously annoyed, snake faced humanoid had left in the company of Viktor's second the great coven leader turned to his top operative and gave her a speculative look.

"Well, what did you think Selene."

"Ummm."

"Were you even listening a little bit."

"I heard you say enough. You know at the end. When you said ' _enough'_. What? Oh you know I'm no good at this stuff, you should have used Kraven all that wet tissue ever does is listen and talk. Blah de blah de blah."

"Yes well it would have served you well to listen a little more closely tonight as you're going to be leaving for Britain within the hour. I want that _man_ dead."

"Well that's easy I can still catch him. One dead dark wizard coming up. No need to go abroad for that."

"Stop. I don't just want _him_ dead, I want his idiot followers dead and I want all his stupid plans and ideals dead. You are to go to Britain and find his fiercest enemies. If they are worthy you will offer them your services and make damn sure that this moron's little coup is stopped. For good. Don't come back till it's done."

Never had the words "Yes Viktor" sounded more like "Fuck you."

Selene was going to Britain and she wasn't exactly happy about it.

 **Borgin and Burke's, Knockturn Alley. 12th July 1996.**

"Don't you dare young lady."

"Ohhhhhh."

Alice sighed sadly and put the huge double edged, cursed axe back in the dislay case and nudged her mother with her elbow and indicated the other two women with her head.

"Tell me again why we brought the boring sisters along."

"Hermione thought that the two of you needed some adult supervision in case you got over excited and things got out of hand and you ended up destroying half the alley." Andromeda Black had seemingly overheard her niece's little comment. "Since the family now owns half of the shops in Diagon Alley we agreed that it was a good idea and here we all are. It's not exactly a picnic for us either you know."

"Rubbish you love it. Honestly sis where would you rather be than shopping with your three favourite girls."

Andi tried and failed to supress a wide smile. She had to admit that today had been a lot of fun. She was surprised by this especially given the start that their trip had gotten off to. The tantrums that Alice and Bella had thrown when she insisted that they would _not_ be allowed to bring their pet rabbits along were long, loud, tear filled, foot stamping affairs that were only brought to a close when Narcissa agreed to buy them some ice cream at Fortescue's. After that small blip everything had gone swimmingly and the four of them had a wonderful time browsing the owl emporium, arguing over the brilliance (Bella and Andi) or utter boredom (Alice and Cissy) of broom racing at Quality Quidditch Supplies and laughing at the scared and surprised looks they got in the Leaky Cauldron before hitting the clothes shops for the main event.

When shopping with the Black family in the days before her expulsion Andromeda had seen more than her fair share of smarmy and obsequious shop assistants so their greeting upon entry to Twillfoot and Tattings had not been a surprise. What had been unexpected, however, was the fist fight that broke out between the two girls there for the honour of serving them. Of course Alice and her mother didn't exactly help with their cheering and egging the pugilists on and the occasional piece of useful advice like "Kick her in the cunt." It was eventually decided that the contest was a draw and that they would share both the commision and the cost of the much needed bruise lotion. There then followed an entertaining couple of hours of them all arguing over styles, colours and respectability of their chosen attire before handing over an utterly obscene amount of gold for their many purchases and exiting the now decidedly messier shop with a promise to visit again soon.

After their promised treat at Florian Fortescue's Ice cream parlour Bellatrix had dragged them down Knockturn Alley to visit her 'most favouritist shop in the whole world' which was why Andi and Cissy were now having to sharpen up a bit to keep a wary eye on the their nutty relatives who were rummaging amongst the dark and dangerous objects littering the store.

"Look at this great book I found mum; Cuts,Welts and Wounds and How to Get Away With Causing Them by Wednesday Addams. How fucking cool is that?"

"Pretty fucking cool." Her mother agreed. "Let's read the first chapter."

The younger Black sisters sighed in harmony as they watched mother and daughter bonding over literature. They glanced at each other and their lips twitched identically in amusement as the raven haired mentallists grinned at each other and read aloud together.

"Chapter One. Scaaabs."

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 12th July 1996.**

 _"And another one gone, another one gone,_

 _Another one bites the dust."_

Kreacher smiled as he sang and dropped the shiny tiara in the sack that his partner in crime was holding open and decided that he was having a very good day. Miss Alice had given him the task of collecting together all of Voldemort's horcruxes and bringing them back to the Manor to be disposed of while she went shopping with her mother in Diagon Alley. Of the two outings he was rather relieved that this was the one that he was asked to be involved in. The old elf loved the Black family but he could well imagine the the kind of chaos they would be causing in London today and was glad that he wouldn't have to be the one to clean it up.

At Alice's suggestion that he take some backup with him Kreacher had decided to bring along the very faithfull but not so bright Dopey as he had developed a bit of a soft spot for the rather vacant young elf and taken him under his wing somewhat. This had proved to be a good decision when the Grey Lady of Ravenclaw had objected to their pilfering her diadem and Dopey had piped up.

"The Black Queen won't be very pleased about this will she Chief." Kreacher had shaken his head sadly. "Do you think Missy Alice will be able to torture the ghosty girl before she makes her go boom?"

If it was possible the Lady Helena's ghost would have gone even paler before she disappeared and returned mere seconds later with her mothers treasure and all but threw it at them stating.

"I meant no offence. Please give my best wishes to your Mistress and ask her to accept this as my gift to her. P ... please." Having stammered out a few more apologies the Grey Lady left rather quickly and the two elves were alone again in the vast hall.

"Excellent use of stategic thinking there son, playing on her fears like that. Her Blackness will be very pleased with you. Right then Dopey my lad let's get these back to Miss Alice shall we?"

"Ribbit"

"Yeeees. Quite."

 **Main Reception Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 28th July 1996.**

The large group of redheads stood around looking nervous and uncomfortable as they surveyed the decadence of the room that they had just flooed into. This place had been specifically designed to show off the wealth and power of the Black family with it's high ceiling, massive fireplace and the opulence of it's furnishings and right now it was more than fulfilling it's purpose. The Weasley family all had slightly differing emotions, Molly was annoyed, Arthur and the twins were impressed, Charlie and Bill were interested, but nervousness was a constant for all of them. Especially for Ron. He was in the lair of Alice Black. The Devil in a D cup who had given him the permanent limp and wooden leg that he now sported. He was really fucking nervous. Ginny Weasley on the other hand was bouncing around with excitement and felt like she had just come home although even she was slightly concerned, mainly in case her fiance lost her temper and killed her mother or one of her brothers before the wedding next weekend. She pondered that it may have been a mistake to come early but these thoughts were all banished as the lady of the house arrived to greet them.

"Good afternoon everyone, welcome to the Black Manor. Hello love."

Protocol went out the window as Ginny threw herself into Alice's arms and proceeded to snog her face off.

"Missed me did you sweetie?" Alice laughed as she peeled the enthusiastic girl off her and turned to her embarrassed soon to be in-laws. "Come on through to the sitting room we have tea all set up and you can meet everybody. Don't worry about the luggage my minions will take care of that. Won't you my lovelies?"

Seven bat eared heads peered around the doorframe and grinned at their Mistress and saluted before charging into the room arguing and fighting each other over who should take what where.

"Ooookay then. Shall we leave them to it?"

In a few minutes the Weasley's, the Blacks, the Lovegoods and the Grangers were all sitting together taking their tea and making cautious small talk and avoiding those subjects that were likely to start an argument like Bellatrix who, of course, chose this moment to make her entrance carrying both her and her daughter's rabbits. All conversation stopped as the former death eater thumped into an armchair, settled the rabbits in her lap and waved in the general direction of the tea. Luna brought her a cup and stood looking longingly at the snowy white bunny.

"Go on then."

Luna squealed with delight and scooped up Lady Huffington Psmith the Third in her arms cooing gently at the docile creature before taking it to show her girlfriend her new treasure. Bella cracked a smile at the irrepressible blonde's antics before turning to the rest of the group and sighing.

"I'm sure you all have questions. Let's get them out of the way now shall we so we don't spoil the girls' big day."

Thus began one of the most awkward tea parties ever held which considering Alice's track record in that department was quite the feat.

 **Editor's Office, Witch Weekly, London. 1st August 1996.**

"But you got on so well with her and you wrote that lovely piece for us last year, I'd have thought you would have been ecstatic to be covering the Black Weasley wedding Penny."

Penelope Clearwater was not ecstatic. She was downright miserable. You see Penny was in love with one of the brides at this wedding that she was apparently going to be forced to cover for her stupid, shitty fucking magazine. How utterly crap was that.

It was a few weeks after her shambolic attempt at interviewing Lady Alice Black that Penny had started to feel that something was happening to her. At first it seemed to be be just the usual melancholia of being in her early twenties and still single so she had tried to cure it with a lot of alcohol and sex with random witches which seemed to work for a while. Soon enough though the blues were back and fun things weren't that much fun anymore. Her thoughts always returned to the raven haired teenager who had rocked her world so completely that night last June and she had found herself devouring newspapers looking for any little tidbit abut her Black Princess. The 'scrapbook of love' that she had put together from her cuttings about Alice and the sneaky pictures she had acquired from her friend Kreacher was a truly awesome piece of stalkerish brilliance. One day she would show it to her love and they would fall into each others arms and live happily ever after.

That was the plan at least. But now it had all gone to shit. Alice was getting married and her dream was over and just to rub a little more salt in the wound she was going to have to attend this horror show and try to write a lovely. fluffy piece about it. The heart broken young woman wondered how exactly she was going to keep the parchment dry with all the tears were bound to be falling that day. The dream was over and as her Etta James records said; 'All she could was cry'.

"Well?" Her editor's voice brought her back to the present.

"Alright. Fine. I'll do it." It came out a bit more petulant than she had intended but fuck it she was in a strop.

"Excellent. Oh by the way I've assigned you a new photographer for the event."

A slim dark haired woman with bright grey eyes, dressed in some kind of rubber catsuit toped off with a leather trench coat appeared from the shadows in the corner of the office and held out her perfectly manicured hand.

"Hi, I'm Selene."

 **Salisbury Plain, Wiltshire. 3rd August 1996. 11.45 p.m.**

Once again two witches and seven elves crouched outside an army base in the middle of the night and surveyed their target.

"Seriously Alice why is it always me who has to come on your illegal field trips." Hermione moaned.

"Because you're the best woman and this is my stag do. Now shut up and pass me the binoculars."

"Some bloody stag do."

"Yes well after this we're meeting Milly and the boys at that new strip club in Knockturn Alley where I'm sure things will get a little more traditional. Unless you want to go back to the Manor and join in the Luna Lovegood Hen Party Extravaganza with Ginny and the girls."

"Oh hell no. Shutting up now."

Hermione Granger loved her girlfriend beyond words but Luna's idea of fun could be strange at best and outright dangerous at it's worst. This might not be ideal but there was no fucking way was she subjecting herself to the mayhem that would happening at Black Manor tonight. The bushy haired genius shuddered at the very thought of it and decided that stealing from the British army followed by beer and strippers sounded positively safe in comparison and set off after Alice and her group of short, big eared bandits.

They came to a halt at a door marked 'Munitions' and after a quick unlocking spell proceeded carefully inside to be confronted with a veritable mountain of odd shaped crates and boxes.

"Here's the list Mia. You're looking for lots of tank shells of those calibres. There aren't any books so you shouldn't get distracted. Just remember the quicker you finish the quicker we get to the drinking and leching."

As Hermione moved off Alice scouted around a bit playing with all the fun, shiny toys until she heard her fave ickle Batty Man's voice calling for her.

"Miss Alice. I've found her."

Lady Black took Kreacher's hand and her eyes filled with tears as they looked down on the open crate on top of the pile.

"M seventy nine grenade launcher." She murmered reverently. "Hello _Baby_."

 **Badda Bing Strip Club, Knockturn Alley, London. 4th August 1996. 02.15a.m.**

The new club''s first private party was in full swing and Tony, the manager, had to admit that it had been well worth effort and cost of shutting for the night. These people spent galleons like gold was going out of fashion and the drinks bill was going to be huge. Even the group of grumpy red headed men seemed to have loosened up a bit he thought as he watched the young one stroking one of the girls intimately with his wooden leg. There were no silly 'no touching' rules in his place. In fact he positively encouraged it as it provided a good bit of extra income for both the girls and the establishment. Of course the animals in the crowd were the three teenaged witches. He marvelled as they once again showed off both their stamina and their wealth.

Across the room Alice beamed as three generations of the Granger family sat in identical positions in front the stage. Dan, Hermione and Grampa David were trying valiantly to stop themselves from drooling over themselves and the girls perched in their laps as they leered at the incredibly hot blonde gyrating on the stage.

 _"HIt me baby one more time."_

Alice giggled as the blonde finished her act with a 'pop' and a rather wet and sticky ping pong ball hit the open mouthed Hermione in the forehead.

"Hi sexy, I'm Serendipity. Would you like a dance?" The sultry,dark skinned and mostly naked woman asked sweetly.

"Hop on baby."

After a fun couple of minutes the dusky beauty spoke again.

"You know if you wanted to you could always go for the _full_ experience." Ah so it was _that_ kind of place. "You really should feel honoured I only make that offer to the people I like."

Alice was almost positive that this wasn't the case but decided that she was drunk enough to not care.

"Okie dokie then. I'm going to collect that bushy haired girl over there, you grab a couple of friends and meet us in the back room."

Great plan.

"Come on Mia we're going to a super special even more private party."

"Will there be something good to read there." Slurred the very pissed witch.

Alice thought about the wordy tattoo disappearing past the scrap of cloth that was Serendipity's underwear and grinned.

"Absolutely. Classical poetry I think."

"Oh goody."

Four hours later a pale, tired and sick looking group of individuals extricated themselves from the exhausted but now much richer ladies of the Badda Bing Club and stumbled blinking into the light in Knockturn Alley some pausing to kneel, cough or vomit depending on their state.

"Can I make a suggestion everyone." Arthur Weasley spoke slowly and carefully to avoid vomiting again and was met by the silent attention of the group. "Can I suggest that we never, ever discuss the details of this night with our spouses."

"Agreed."

Alice spoke next.

"And may I further suggest that everyone gets a bath before they get back to their familial duties. I don't know about you guys but I've got glitter in places that it really shouldn't be. Right up my ..."

Crack. Kreacher and the rest the Black elves apparated in directly front of them and looked at the sad group shushing him with critical eye while trying not to laugh.

"Miss Alice, Kreacher hearing of your plans for tonight thought that you and your ... friends may be in need of some assistance getting back to the manor."

"Good idea Batty Man. Let's go."

"Hold up where's Bill. Shouln't we wait for him."

"Fuck him. Home. Bath. Bed. Sleep"

From her position on the rooftop Selene watched the group being vanished away and smiled as she went over the previous nights events again. The black haired girl with the wierd eyes was apparently the Snake Man's most outspoken and vicious opponent and didn't appear to be above robbery, murder and the use of high explosives on him and his supporters. Also if last night was any guide she seemed like a lot of fun to be around. Selene's smile broke into a grin. Yes she had definitely picked the right one to ally with. Snake face was going down.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now. I have no idea how far I will go with this idea but it's fun for now and you guys seem to be enjoying it. Also as this my first attempt at writing anything I would appreciate kind or constructive reviews as they encourage me to continue and help me improve.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Sorry for the lack of updates recently but I've been desperately trying to finish the first year of my other story, Cassandra Evans. But you've all been such good, patient boys and girls and hey it's Christmas Day so I thought that I'd give you a present and treat you all to the chapter that I've been looking forward to since I began this fic. Yes here it comes. My big fat Black wedding.**

 **Buckle up kiddies this is going to be all kinds of fun.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _From her position on the rooftop Selene watched the group being vanished away and smiled as she went over the previous nights events again. The black haired girl with the wierd eyes was apparently the Snake Man's most outspoken and vicious opponent and didn't appear to be above robbery, murder and the use of high explosives on him and his supporters. Also if last night was any guide she seemed like a lot of fun to be around. Selene's smile broke into a grin. Yes she had definitely picked the right one to ally with. Snake face was going down._

 **CHAPTER 21.**

 **Black Manor, Suffolk. 11th August 1996. 06.30am.**

Her private master bathroom attached to the walk in closet in her bedroom suite was probably Alice black's favourite room in the whole of her manor she had decided. She didn't know whether it was the quiet, candlelit aura of the place or if it was just the fact that the bath itself was so fucking huge but this bathroom just really made her feel at peace. It was her own little hideaway where nobody, not even her elves were allowed and she could just relax the stress of the day away. Or make herself beautiful for her wedding as was today's case. No, there was nothing quite as luxurious or as refreshing to a tired body as a long hot soak after a night of drunken debauchery. Alice's quiet, thoughtful and relaxing bath was destined not to last too long though as the bathroom door slammed open and a red streak came hurtling into the room.

"Wheeeee!"

With a huge splash a flame haired Alice seeking missile by the name of Ginny Weasley leapt into the enormous, sunken tub and resurfaced a moment later right between her legs and gave her a scorching, passionate if rather wet kiss.

"Good morning fiancee."

"Well hello to you too. Not that I'm complaining love but shouldn't you be donig this somewhere else this morning. I do seem to recall reading that it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"That's what mum said, yes but I ignored her because then I wouldn't to get have my morning naughty time with my soon to be wife now would I."

"Frisky today aren't we my slutty little vixen."

"Must be the company I've been keeping lately." Ginny mused. "I was such a good girl until this insane black haired psychopath came along and seduced me with her wicked, corrupt ... mmmph" The flow of words was interrupted by a kiss. "Evil ... mmmph ... magical ... mmmph ... sexy ... mmmph ... ways."

"Do you have any idea how long it takes me to look my best for you on a normal day let alone _this_ day Ginevra?"

"You look perfect right now." A very naughty smile crept on to the red heads face. "Good enough to eat in fact."

"So much for me corrupting you."

Alice sighed deeply and happily as Ginny moved lower down her body and disappeared beneath the warm water. Yep. Definitely her favourite room in the whole of ... her train thought was somehow suddenly lost.

 **Sitting Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 11th August 1996. 09.30am.**

"Good morning Auror Black, my name is Penelope Clearwater from Witch Weekly and i'll be covering today's nuptials for our special edition. I thought I'd start with some interviews with the family if you have the time."

"No problem, I've got all the time in the ... wait a minute. Penelope Clearwater. You're that reporter that Alice got all _friendly_ with last year aren't you" Nym waggled her eyebrows and grinned lasciviously at her. "I'm a big fan and may I just say. Bravo on your performance."

To Nymphadora's horror the reporter in question looked absolutely stricken and failed to supress a tearful sob. Nym stopped her next light hearted comment from making an appearance as she regarded the, now weeping witch more carefully and seeing a reflection of her own pain. Ah so that was it. The girl was in love with Alice. She could sympathise with that having both been there and done that. It had taken her months to get over her cousin if she ever really had and there was still a little pang every time she saw the raven haired lunatic being all sweet and lovey dovey with Ginny. It could have been her. It should have been her. Penelope obviously thought the same.

"It's alright love, let it out. I understand. Trust me I understand."

Her breath caught as big, tear filled eyes stared up at her. She held the distraught, crying girl to her and felt the familiar twitch of desire course through her loins. Well it had been a really long time and there was nothing wrong with comforting a witch in distress was there. It was almost an act of charity.

"You too?"

"Yep. Me too."

"I'm sorry for crying all over it's not very professional is it. It's just, I miss her so much."

A very wicked idea began to take shape in Nymphadora's head and she leaned in close to whisper.

"You know I'm a metamorph and I can make myself look like her."

She raised her eyebrows and and then grinned at the surprised but extraordinarilly excited look that Penny was giving her. Nym started to shift and surprise and excitement turned to sheer, unadulterated lust.

 **Sitting Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 11th August 1996. Ten minutes later.**

"This way Appoline, I thought that we'd take our tea in here and I can get acquainted with your delightful daughters. What the bloody hell. Nymphadora!"

"It look like someone else also 'ad the idea to use this room to get acquainted. N'est pas. Although this look very much like Lady Alice. Non?"

"I'd know that bloody birthmark anywhere. That's my daughter."

For the second time in her life (two too many in her opinion) a very naked Penny looked in horror over the shoulder of an equally naked girl who had two of her fingers buried deep inside of her straight into the face of a thunderous looking Andromeda Black. This time however there were three additional people in the room as well, as Nym's mother had been followed into the sitting room by two incredibly attractive blonde women and ... Oh my god a Ten year old girl. This day could just not get any worse she thought. As usual in a situation involving the Black family she was underestimating both her level of embarrassment that could be suffered and her capacity for being wrong. Completely, hopelessly and utterly wrong. It was the youngest occupant of the sitting room who recovered first.

"Fleur, Fleur. Que'st qu'ils fait?"

Gabrielle Delacour's older sister didn't miss a beat. She simply leaned down and with a smile on her lovely face and said.

"Il's sont putain."

The little girl's face lit up and she ran across to the still very intimately connected couple with a wonderous expression.

"S'il vous plait. Continue. Eeet is very ... ed .. u ..ca .. tion .. al."

She smiled beautifically up at them extremely pleased with her 'Eengleesh' phrasing. Before anyone could answer there was a loud snort from the doorway and all eyes turned in that direction to see a hysterically giggling figure wearing nothing but a bathrobe hanging onto the frame and trying not to fall over. Penny buried her face into Nym's shoulder and tried to hide. Her day was now complete.

Alice Black had arrived.

"Ohhhh Nym you shouldn't have. It's just the most perfectest wedding present ever."

As the laughing nutter bounced out of the room and skipped away dragging her aunt along with her she could be heard shouting at the top her voice for somebody to _please_ get her a fucking pensieve. Like _right_ fucking now.

"Soooo. tea anyone?"

 **The Rose Garden, Black Manor, Suffolk. 11th August 1996. 14.30 pm.**

Bellatrix looked around at the transformed rose garden and wept a little as she remembered her own nuptials on the beach in Southern France all those years ago. Alice had most definitely gotten her sense of romance from her father, along with his nasty temper of course, if this stunning set up was anything to go by. The chairs for the guests were fashioned from twisted wood and pink, red and whilte flowers seemed to fairly burst forth from them to create a natural petal covered aisle down to an altar and wedding arch similarly bedecked. What was more amazing was that Alice had done this all herself not even letting the elves or her family help with this part of the preparations. They could do whatever they wanted for pre and post ceremony celebrations but she had insisted that this was hers to do and nobody else's. Really she had no idea that the girl was so gifted when it came to natural magic.

Considering that it was taking place in this utter madhouse the wedding itself was a rather sweet and lovely affair full of smiling stoic wizards and whispering, tearfull witches all holding their collective breath as the Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore bound the hands of the two white clad figures beneath the flower laced arch. As the old man said the traditional words to bind these beautiful and extraordinary young women together in the eyes of the law and in front of their friends and families there was not a dry eye in the garden, including his own. The first kiss was exchanged between the brides and at last breaths were let out in an uproar of cheering and whooping for the Ladies Black as the many cameras flashed.

As the happy couple glided serenely back down the petal covered aisle the rest of the Black tank corps formed a ceremonial arch with an odd assortment of some of Alice's favourite weapons from their armoury and, to the great amusement of the other guests, the two brides were ushered to their reception with a rousing rendition of Das Panzerlied. It continued as they reached the end and climbed onto their ride, no horse and carriage for this unconventional pair just Alice's beloved Mark Four panzer. Grandpa David Granger gave the girls a wink and a smile from the drivers seat, started the engine and they were off. Love, tears and laughter and a tank ride back to the entrance of their manor. Could this day get any more perfect Alice thought. She looked at the beautiful red head perched next to her on the main gun of the Mark Four and smiled. Of course it could.

Nym took a weeping Peneope's hand and kissed her on the cheek. Both their dreams were over but neither of them could truthfully say that it wasn't right. Alice had chosen her bride and it was more than time that they both accept her choice and move on with their lives. It was time to start fresh.

 **Main Ball Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 11th August 1996. 17.30 pm.**

Selene clicked the shutter of her camera on another pair of smiling dancers as she moved quietly through the large open space of Black Manor's impressive ball room. Her brief from the magazine was to get as many pictures as possible of the great and the good assembled here today for the special society wedding edition due out next week. Her own less well known mission was to document the army that this scarily insane young woman was forming to take on the worst dark lord that Britain had seen in three centuries and to find their strengths and weaknesses. Certainly she was doing this to help them initially but it was also a fact that no-one knew what this Black Queen's final agenda was and down the line they may end up having to fight this amy. In those circumstances the time she spent here could be invaluable.

She had got some fabulous action shots of the happy couple's first dance and had then moved among the rest singling out the scarlet coated tank girls for special attention from her camera while using her enhanced hearing to pick up how these young women spoke and behaved. Her conclusions were that this was an incredibly tight knit group of feminists and yes, soldiers seeking to end the not so subtle culture of misogeny and blood purity nonsense promoted in this backwards society by it's male dominated government. Selene thoroughly approved of this as well as of their fearless leader's tactics of persuasion by threat backed up with extreme violence whenever she felt that she could get away with it. Clever, careful and utterly insane. Alice Black was someone that she could really get behind. She jumped as a silky smooth voice sounded almost in her ear.

"So what's it like being a vampire then?"

She narrowed her eyes in frustration and tried not to think about how this blonde, aristocratic woman had just sneaked up on the most feared Death Dealer in Europe. Selene forced herself to calm down and put on her best innocent puppy look.

"I'm sorry?"

"Really dear it's not difficult to work it out. The skin, the eyes, the huge black umbrella on a cloudless August day and of course." Here the woman looked her up and down with what could only be interpreted as a positively lecherous examination of her form. "The ... outfit. Miss?"

"It's Selene and I ... I ... I'm not a vampire." God she was fucking stuttering now. This damned (sexy) woman was doing all kinds of wierd shit to her, resurrecting emotions that she had blunted with over a century of un-life.

"Well I'm Narcissa. Narcissa Black and if you want to go continue our little dicussion further perhaps we should go somewhere a touch more _private_."

"No." (YES).

She forced herself to ignore the (beautiful) distraction and to concentrate once more on her targets. Any one of them would do. Ah that one. The intelligent one with the bushy hair slow dancing with her petite, lithe blonde (mmm blonde) girlfriend. Hermione Granger, muggle born and clearly the groups second in command. The other girls were merciless in their teasing of her but also very wary of her scarilly brilliant mind and always appeared to be on guard against any retaliation. A good choice for lieutenant. She looked closer as the big eyed blonde Luna said something to her and receiving a resigned nod in response headed up to the microphone on the stage.

"Oh dear it looks like Luna's decided to sing. Are sure you don't want to go somewhere else? Anywhere else? No? Oh well. I don't suppose you have any ear plugs do you?"

Narcissa was still there and had clearly not given up on trying to persuade her to leave for some ill advised (wonderfully sensous) tryst with her, although she did seem to have a bit more urgency about her now. Surely the sweet little blonde on the stage couldn't be _that_ bad a singer.

Two and a half interminably long minutes later she was wishing that she had taken Narcissa up on her offer.

 _"_ _Let it go, let it go_  
 _And I'll rise like the break of dawn_  
 _Let it go, let it go_  
 _That perfect girl is gone!_

 _Here I stand_  
 _In the light of day_  
 _Let the storm rage on,_  
 _The cold never bothered me anyway!"_

As Luna smiled at the poilte applause, seriously were all these people tone deaf, and started talking to the musicians obviously intending to perform again Selene grabbed the surprised older blonde witch by the hand and headed quickly for the exit.

"Come on take me somewhere."

"Where would you like to ..."

"I don't care, any fucking where, just do it quickly before she starts again."

Cissy smirked and apparated them straight to her bedroom. Well the girl did say anywhere.

 **Honeymoon Suite, Seraphim's Magical Hotel, St. Lucia. 11th August 1996. 10.00 pm.**

Alice and Ginny were lying next to each other on the king size bed in their hotel bedroom having a little nap before the light supper that they had ordered arrived. That they were in the Princess Honeymoon Suite did not go un-noticed by either of the girls although they preferred not to think about how Alice's mum had got enough cash to send them here for their wedding gift. It was no doubt something highly illegal and morally reprehensible. Despite the rest of her family's misgivings Ginny found that she actually really liked Bellatrix and the two of them had got on like a veritable house on fire after she had suffered the usual 'betray my daughter and I'll hurt you' speech only responding by saying that she was quite partial to a bit of pain and winking. They had pretty much been best buddies after that. Ginny was roused from her thoughtful semi slumber by a delicate hand stroking her cheek. She opened her eyes and smiled at her wife.

"Hello Lady Black. Have you had a pleasant day thus far."

"Why yes Lady Black, it's been rather lovely. I got married you know."

"Did you really. How exciting. Is your new wife pretty?"

"No." Alice glared at her. "Not pretty. Beautiful. I married the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Really, I thought I did that."

"Soppy twat."

"Hey it's my honeymoon. I'm allowed to be a soppy twat. In fact I think that it's a legal requirement."

Ginny snorted and began to giggle.

"Yeah because you're always soooo concerned about what's legal."

"Well in this case I think that it's a law I should follow to the letter." She was rewarded for her chivalry with a steamy kiss. "Are you hungry love?"

"I could eat. But hang on the supper's not here for another half hour is it?"

"Who said anything about food."

"Ohhhhhhhh."

"Oh indeed Lady Black. Oh indeed."

Needless to say they they didn't get to their supper.

 **One, two, three. Ahhhhhh.**

 **If you want to hear it, and I thoroughly recommend it, you can search you tube for Girls und Panzer, Panzerlied. It's very cool. I think you can probably find Let it Go by yourselves.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **Big shout out to Boarador as thanks to you I have finally got my arse in gear and am now heading for a big finish to this story. The muse is upon me and I will be alternating updates between this and Silent World for the next few weeks. I'm trying for two a week, every week until we're done, so we'll see how that goes.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"I could eat. But hang on the supper's not here for another half hour is it?"_

 _"Who said anything about food."_

 _"Ohhhhhhhh."_

 _"Oh indeed Lady Black. Oh indeed."_

 _Needless to say they they didn't get to their supper._

 **CHAPTER 22.**

 **Knockturn Alley, London. 25th August 1996.**

Selene looked down dispassionately at the very dead wizard in front of her, blew the smoke from the end of her pistol and holstered it beneath her long, leather trenchcoat. Moron, she thought. I mean really what kind of dumbass thought a protego shield would stop a .45 calibre armour piercing round fired at a range of less than ten feet. Wizards were stupid. Well, most wizards. Narcissa's psychotic niece was probably an exception to her statement. Alice Black seemed to know just what weaknesses and limitiations the human body had as well as taking a seemingly infinite pleasure in testing these to destruction upon her enemies. The girl also knew precisely what buttons to push to get someone to do what she wanted. Which was why she was currently here standing over the body of Lord Jeremiah Parkinson, pure blood activist and not so secret member of Voldemort's inner circle. She had murdered him because Cissy had asked her to. And she just couldn't say no to Cissy.

She hadn't felt the sting of attraction since her re-birth back in the last century and it had left her totally unprepared for the rollercoaster of emotional shit that this damned haughty, sweet, sexually adventurous blonde had subjected her to. Selene had fallen fast and she had fallen hard and now she couldn't even imagine her unlife without her. She could never go back to the unfeeling killer that she had been, because now she had love. She had Cissy and there was no going back. Not to Viktor, nor to the coven. This was her life now. This was her mission now. Cissy and her nutbag family.

The blonde haired aristocratic woman had become an overwhelming addiction of hers since that first glorious night at Alice's wedding a few weeks ago. She was as enticing and addictive as crack cocaine and just as dangerous because Cissy was a Black and would do literally anything for her familly. Including asking her brand new vampire lover to kill a political rival while the main suspect was still on her honeymoon thus giving her the perfect alibi apparently. She hoped that the vampires never went to war with magical Britain after Alice ascended to her pre-destined place at it's head because she was pretty sure that they would lose. Not Selene of course as she would be here. At Cissy's side. Which, of course, meant at Alice's side as well. Crack head or Black head, the name didn't matter. The hundred year old vampire was now bound to the madness of this family for ever.

 **Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 29th August 1996.**

"Interesting summer, Severus?"

"Yes. Dragging around Europe after the Dark Lord while he fails to convince his old allies to join the cause is _exactly_ how I wanted to spend my time off, headmaster."

"Did he then? Fail to convince them I mean."

"In the main yes. Viktor turned him away, and once it was out that the Austrians had said no then none of the other vampire clans would declare for him either. He did manage to persuade some of the stupider and more remote giants to aid him though."

"Did the vampires give a reason?"

"Some excuse about uppity lycans. Personally, however, I think that they've heard about his troubles with a certain black haired young psychopath of our acqaintance. In certain circles word about someone like Alice Black tends to get around rather quickly."

Albus had no doubt about that. The members of the Wizangamot were utterly terrified of her and she was still in school. Merlin only knew what they would be like if she decided to actually take her seat in December when she turned seventeen. Pliable was perhaps the kindest word that he could use to describe their probable future behaviour towards the Black Princess. Her methods, while highly amusing to watch, may not have been how he would have chosen to proceed but he really couldn't fault the results. At their last meeting two days ago she had presented him with every horcux but the last two. Voldemort's snake, Nagini and Harry Potter were now all that remained between him and the veil of death. She had made it look uncomfortably easy and had left him wondering how long the whole business would have taken if left to other, more legally minded, individuals to accomplish. He decided that a little discomfort with the means was well worth the ends themselves.

"Speaking of Lady Black, I hear her potions NEWT went well."

"Outstanding, as predicted. An almost perfect score. Are you still wanting to proceed with her taking the first and second year classes?"

Professor Snape couldn't quite keep the swell of pride that he felt in his top student out of his voice as well as the relief that he wouldn't have to take the classes with students who didn't know their arses from their elbows. He was confident in Alice's skills and her ability to hold the attention of the younger pupils, and it meant considerably less work for him down the line.

"Yes, we hammered out the details, scheduling, syllabus and such, a couple of days ago."

Along with many other things, he remembered. Due to her status as Head of House, married woman and part time professor, Alice was to be given a suite of rooms near to Gryffindor tower for her use. It wasn't like they didn't have the space in the half empty castle and at least now he wouldn't have to listen to disgruntled staff members complaining about the noise every time she wanted to get drunk and have one of her infamous parties. He chuckled to himself at the memory of an enraged Madame Pince letting loose at him about tone deaf, deviant, slatternly students disrupting her precious library. Now all he had to worry about was if she tried to shag his new Ancient Runes teacher. Or more likely, when.

 **Hogsmeade Station, Scotland. 1st September 1996.**

There was panic on the platform at the sudden and dramatic entrance of the Black Tank Corps as the brightly clothed witches exited the train and swung past in two lines singing a song about eskimo pussy being mighty cold. The younger students stared in awe and fascination while the older one's either sang along quietly or cringed in fear. One in particular was terrified beyond words. Pansy Parkinson had been given specific and unquestionable instructions by her remaining parent about her attitude to and behaviour around the dreaded Black Princess. Her mother feared and respected this insane girl in equal measure and she was under no illusions that if the House of Parkinson continued on it's current stance towards her that their family line would be brought to a swift and bloody end. Pansy was not pleased but with her father's sudden and brutal murder at the hands of an unkown, if extremely skilled, assassin but she was aware of the imperitive of following her mother's orders. Daddy had been all Voldemort's man from the very beginning and had had to be very clever to retain his freedom after the last war but mother was much more pragmatic in her outlook. She went where the power was and currently it resided in the black haired lesian nutter in the red coat and kilt marching her troops up to the castle.

"You under orders too Parkinson?"

Lillian Moon had sidled up to her un-noticed and joined Pansy in her close observation of the gaudilly clothed young women.

"Yes. After father's ... _accident_ ... I have been told to get myself into favour with the Blacks. And you?"

"I'm the second daughter of a politically weak family. I was always going to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. So if it's a woman rather than a man, well it makes no difference to me. I'd take someone like you over a troll like Nott any day. I do what I must for my line."

The two Slytherins regarded each other carefully, each considering the pros and cons of making an alliance between them. For Lillian it was simple. Marriage to a person of Pansy's station would mean power, wealth and the grateful approval of her family for her sacrifice. For Pansy it meant a way to breach the defenses of the infamous SHAGS club to get on a better footing with the young psychopath who had very likely had her father killed. This did not concern her though. There was no room for sentiment in the world of pure blood politics. She would do what was necessary to make herself useful to the strange lunatic who was clearly going to be the next great leader of the wizarding world. It helped a lot that Moon wasn't exactly unattractive though. She offered her arm to the other girl.

"Shall we?"

"I believe we shall Miss Parkinson."

"Pansy, please."

 **Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 1st September 1996.**

At the headmaster's introduction of the new Ancient Runes professor, Fleur Delacour stood smiling to receive the rapturous applause of the students. That it was interspersed with wolf whistles, cat calls and one incredibly loud and strident cry of 'shagadelic baby!' from amidst the group red coated witches only made her smile wider. The veela in her roared as she surveyed the sweet young things before her, laid out like a very tasty buffet, and she licked her lips in anticipation of the coming term. Coming. Yes, she certainly hoped that there would be a good deal of that. Unfortunately she was going to have be a little carefull as her selection of prospective partners among the staff was thin to the point of being nonexistant. One look at Minerva MacGonnagal's scary face when she had looked twice at the pretty arithmancy teacher to her left, Vector, had dissuaded her from pursuing either of them. Hooch might be fun for a quick roll but probably not more than once. Then there was Sprout, Pomfrey, Burbage and Pince. Fleur wasn't averse to older women but she did have some standards. Wrinkles. Ewww. Which left? Students. So, yes. Carefull was the order of the day.

Her lascivious gaze wandered over the hall before coming to rest on the group of red coated girls sat together close to the top table and a few feet away from her. Her eyes flicked over them considering each member of the tight knit crew to find a suitable candidate for her first conquest. The obvious choice was Alice Black. She was an absolutley gorgeous young woman with a real spark of fire within her that Fleur was sure would translate into a wild and passionate performance on the bedroom. She was also newly married and seemed to have pretty little sex pet to boot, so was probably a long shot. The next choice was Hermione. She had taken the bushy haired witch's virginity during the Tri Wizard Tournament and while the girl had proved to be an extremely quick and dirty study, she had both been there and done that, so to speak. A fresh challenge was what she needed. It was as she came to the last of the kilted cuties that her decision was made for her when her eyes were suddenly captured by the proudly and magnificently displayed cleavage of the stunning Scottish/Chinese girl.

Oh. My. God. Asian chick.

Her mouth dropped open and a little drool escaped from the corner of it as the high and mighty Fleur Delacour became the latest in a long line of victims to fall to the virulent and incurable disease known as 'Yellow Fever'.

 **Gryffindor Married Quarters, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 4th September 1996.**

Alice leaned back on the comfy sofa in her and Ginny's spectacularly beautiful new suite of rooms and decided that she was going to have to write a thank-you letter to the weird old codger who had made all of this possible. Albus Dumbledore had definitely out done himself with this. No more dormitory full of strange smelling, unwashed laundry, no more Lavender gossiping and Parvati giving her the evil eye thank Merlin and no more sharing the bathroom with four sweaty teenaged witches. Bit of a shame that one really, but the fact that she could, at last, have some uninterrupted, private fun time with Red and Puppy while at school more than made up for it. As if drawn by her thoughts her wife entered the sitting room leading a semi clad Padma by her leash. The two of them pulled up next to alice on the sofa and cuddled into either side of her. She rewarded each of the girls with a deep kiss and just as things were starting to get a touch ... heated, the door flew open and a dozen scarlet coated witches all but fell in to the room.

Giggles and gawking were the order of the evening as the teenagers tumbled unceremoniously over the threshold and looked up from their prone position on the Black's rug to see their hostesses startled out of a rather intimate three way embrace. The bushy haired girl who alone had managed to stay on her feet at the back of the group stared at the occupants of the leather sofa and blushed prettily while stuttering out an apology.

"So sorry ladies. I told you guys you should have knocked first. Um Alice, you do know that you still have your hand down Padma's pants."

"I am perfectly aware of that thank-you Hermione."

The red headed member of their trio kissed Alice hungrilly on the neck and whispered hotly and secretively into her wife's ear. The high Lady of the House of Black kept eye contact with her wild haired lieutenant while wiggling her constricted fngers and smirked at the Indian girl's patented, red faced, squirm and squeak. It was so much fun making her do that.

"Ooookay then."

The discussion that followed was surprisingly focused for this gathering led by an insane, horny young woman and had only one purpose to it. That purpose was to somehow manage to get their girl Cho Chang in to the arms and hopefully into the bed of a certain French Ancient Runes professor. Although frankly a broom closet would do at this point as Cho was getting pretty frustrated at seeing the woman of her dreams every day and not being able to do anything about it due to her crippling shyness. Hermione thought that If they bought the same level of planning and enthusiasm to getting rid of Mouldy Shorts as they did to aiding their friends love life he was going to be well and truly fucked.

"So operation get Cho laid is under way."

"For God's sake. Which idiot came up with that?"

"Your girlfriend did actually so zip it, anus licker."

Not for the first time it crossed Hermione Granger's mind that she needed to obliviate that particular piece of information from brain of everyone she had ever met before stapling Luna's mouth shut. Luna's cute, sweet little perfect mouth that was so good at doing all sorts of those fun things that she liked so much. Hmmm. Okay perhaps not staples then. Maybe velcro. Or a zip with a padlock. To which she would have the only key. Yes that would much better. Much sexier. her own little ... Okay if she didn't stop this line of thought Hermione was going to have to drag her little witch into the bathroom to relieve the growing pressure in her groin. She gave a ragged sigh. Oh well back to the problem at hand.

"We need to get Marietta's involvement in this. She's been friends with Cho for like forever. Plus, they're in Runes together so she can help things along a bit."

Alice waved the hand still looped around Ginny's neck at her guests in a dismissive gesture.

"Right well. Not to be an ungracious hostess or anything but if you'd all like to fuck off now the three of us would quite like to get back to what we we were doing before you all barged in."

While the others left she heard Padma yelp quietly before biting her shoulder gently as Alice resumed her previous digital explorations inside the girl's underwear. As nice as it was spending time with her friends there were some things that were beyond sacred to the psychotic ravenette, and finger fucking Puppy while her wife watched on in excited approval was fairly high up on that list. She grinned at Ginny's happy sigh and wondered if they should be trying to get an early night given that she would be teaching her first potions class tomorrow. Nah. Fuck it. Sleep was overrated, she thought as she manouvered herself into a better postion between Padma's legs.

 **The Dungeons, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 5th September 1996.**

The combined Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw first year potions class were busilly chatting amongst themselves when the door that led to Severus Snape's private office slammed open. Their frightened young faces paled as he gave them his usual introduction to potions, focusing on their stupidity and his lack of patence with teaching them how not to kill themselves or him. At this point Severus would normally launch into a verbal assault upon the most nervous looking firstie in order to humble the entire class before setting an un-necessarily hard assignment. Today, however, was different. Today was his young protege's first time with teaching a class. He introduced her to them, giving the scared children a final instuction to try and avoid killing her as he would find her _almost_ impossible to replace. Alice tried not to smile at what passed for a compliment in professor Snape's stunted emotional vocabulary as he disappeared back into his office.

"Merlin's hairy balls. Doesn't he go on? Right then my lovelies, who likes playing with knives?"

Every hand in the classroom immediately shot into the air amidst a chorus of giggles at their fun new teacher's rather fruity language.

"Awesome, because today we're going to learn how to cut all this nasty shit up without losing any of your adorable ickle pinkies."

Alice surveyed them with her mis-matched eyes, cocked her head and grinned madly at her stunned pupils expressions of awe and hero worship before cackling insanely. After this first class word would spread very quickly around Hogwarts about how, for the first time in living memory, the subtle art and science of potion making was by far the most brilliant and entertaining subject in school. At least for the first and second years anyway. Lady Alice Black, Hogwarts apprentice potions mistress was, it seemed, a hit. A veritable smash in fact.

 **Runes Class , Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 6th September 1996.**

Professor Delacourt's first lesson with the seventh year NEWT student's was an eye opener for everyone involved. She had led with a demonstration of the most typical and popular use for runes in the wizarding word today. Wards. Despite their four years of study in this field the young wizards and witches were stunned by he complexity of the runic make up of even the simplest of protective rune arrays. The difficulty of constructing them was immense and their new teacher glided through the process as if she were cooking a rather simple omlette for her breakfast. Their quills were a blur as they struggled to keep up with the rapid mixture of English and French that was pouring from the beautiful blonde witches perfectly formed mouth. Slowing her pace gradually as she finished her initial demonstration Fleur turned to face the still furiously scribbling class.

"D'accord. So this is the first thing that we will be learning together cette anee. I must apologise for my language. I tend to slip into ... ah ... Franglais when I get all excite."

Cho was open mouthed and rubber legged by this stage of affairs. Her attraction to this statuesque, platinum haired goddess was seriously out of control. What had started off as her first crush on a girl almost two years ago had developed over time through puppy love and hero worship into a full blown gut wrenching, heart clenching unstoppable rollercoaster of raw emotion every single time that she looked at or even thought about this incredible witch. Cho Chang was gone like tears in a tornado. She didn't take any notes, didn't say a word, all but forgot to breathe. She couldn't concentrate on anything other than the impossibly beautiful woman standing before her. And before she knew it the class was done. Looking down at where her notes should be she saw only a series of crude doodles of two familiar witches doing things that she had only read about so far and realised that she was going to be in a lot of trouble if she couldn't get a hold on her libido.

"Mademoiselle Chang. Remain behind, s'il vous plait."

Oh fuck. Her lack of attention on the lesson being given had been noticed. Marietta cancelled her confundus on Cho, put away her wand, grinned at her and gave an enthusiastic thumbs up as she moved past her friend and housemate on the way out of the class room to run and report this to the other girls. Frowning at her oldest friend Cho decided to try and deal with the teacher's ire at her poor performance in class with the innocent pupy dog approach.

"Was there something you needed professor Delacourt?"

"I 'ave noticed that you are ... mmmm ... 'ow shall I say. Lacking the necessary concentration in my class. Non?"

Bollocks. The innocent act didn't work then. Time for plan B. Total and abject surrender.

"I'm sooo sorry professor I just can't seem to keep my mind on it. All these new runes they're so confusing and I just don't get how they all fit together, but I'm trying really hard and I promise I'll do better please don't drop me from your class. I'll do anything you want. Please."

"Anything I want?"

Hmmm. Now what an enticing idea that was, Fleur thought to herself.

"Per'aps some extra tuition in a _stricter_ environment is in order. You will present yourself in my office after dinner tonight Mademoiselle. Do not be late or I shall be ... _displeased_. Tu compris?"

 **Nott Manor. 10th September 1996. 10.00 pm.**

This was not the homecoming that Voldemort had hoped for. His grand dark alliance was in tatters thanks to Viktor and he had returned home with only the promise of a couple of dozen giants to boost his dwindling ranks. Ranks that were even emptier now due to the violent and unexpected demise of Lord Parkinson. That had been a blow. Not just for the man's skills as a duellist but also for his money. Voldemort's coffers were emtying faster than Pettigrew's blader had when the Potter brat had almost caught him. He massaged his temples and decided that he was going to have take the ministry very soon if only to secure his funding for the coming struggle. His newly recruited followers were at the lower end of dumb and they weren't close to being ready but it was too late now. He was out of time. The ministry must fall.

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **So I finally managed to decipher my fevered scribbling of the last few weeks enough to get some actual writing done on this story and I'm sure that you will all be pleased to know that I now have a plan for how to end this rambling mess of a story. Those of you who have been following this fic for a while will be shocked to hear that, I'm sure and even more shocked by my new work ethic and update schedule. Every two days. That's right kids. One chapter every two days until we're done. Which will be within the next two weeks.**

 **No more arsing around, I'm getting this done.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _He massaged his temples and decided that he was going to have take the ministry very soon if only to secure his funding for the coming struggle. His newly recruited followers were at the lower end of dumb and they weren't close to being ready but it was too late now. He was out of time. The ministry must fall._

 **CHAPTER 23.**

 **Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 12th September 1996.**

Fawkes the phoenix was not a gloomy bird by nature but today he was in what Albus Dumbledore, his human familiar and bond partner, would call, one of his moods. This was mainly due to the presence of four of the darkest artefacts known to wizard kind in the immediate vicinity of his light aligned, goodness filled self. The headmaster's raven haired and morally suspect, female visitor wasn't exactly helping matters either. He could almost feel the aura of 'total crazy' pouring off of her and it was making him distinctly bloody nervous. The girl had just waltzed in carrying the sack full of horcruxes as if it were a picnic basket filled with kittens and rainbows, carelessly chattering about her honeymoon (just who the fuck would marry this psychotic looney tune anyway?). Not that Albus seemed to care. His obsession with the 'greater good' was taking a turn for the highly disturbing if it meant that he would welcome this criminally insane girl's assistance with the good humour that he obviously possessed at the moment. Okay, she had achieved twice as much in two short months than what the 'good guys' had been able to in the past four years, but still. He wasn't sure if they should so readily accept such help. He was an immortal being, for Merlin's sake, and she still managed to scare ever loving shit out of him.

"I must say Alice, this is an extraordinary job you've done. How on earth did you manage to acquire them all so fast?"

"Are you sure that you really want to know Alby?"

The headmaster sighed and considered that question rather carefully as he studied the, clearly disturbed, but also highly amusing young woman in the scarlet coat and kilt lounging in the chair in front of him. He had no doubt that breaking and entering and theft were among the least illegal of the methods that she had used to bring together the collection of cursed items that lay spread out on the desk awaiting destruction. Despite that thought, or maybe because of it, he chuckled.

"Probably not."

Alice grinned and gave the white bearded wonder a playful wink.

"Thought not."

She watched the the old man put aside his usually humorous persona for long enough to gather up Mouldy's four horuxes and put them into some kind of magical floor safe and begin the process of their destruction. His hands and his wand moved in complicated patterns as he muttered an incatation under his breath that caused a mass of bright blue and orange flames to leap right into the heart of the box. Slamming the lid, he carefully placed the magical container into the furtheest corner of his office and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was interesting for her to catch a glimpse of the serious, dark wizard hunter side of him at work, as she suspected that it was not something that he allowed just anyone to see. A theory which he then confirmed by him turning and giving her a sad but grateful smile before gravely announcing.

"Lady Alicia Morgana Black, you have my thanks. The House of Dumbledore owes you a debt for all the lives that you may have saved here today. If by my words or actions I may aid you in the future, you have merely to ask and it shall be done. So mote it be."

There was a brief flash and a swirling light as the headmaster's magic accepted the contract of his heartfelt, but probably rather unwise considering who he had just given it to, unbreakable vow. As she aways seemed to in their meetings, Alice surprised him with her reaction.

"Sooooo, that was a thing. Does that mean that you're basically my bitch now? That I can ask you anything I like now and you'll have to do it?"

"More or less." He answered a little nervously and wondered where she was going with this.

"Yaaaay. Tell me then head bitch ... how do feel about rabbits in your castle?"

He blinked. Rabbits? He, the mighty and feared Albus fricking Dumbledore, Supreme Mugwump and Chief Warlock had given, for the first time ever, an unbreakable vow to the Head of one of the oldest and darkest houses, and all she wanted was for him to let her have a few pet bunnies at school? The headmaster then did something that he hadn't done since he was a boy. He snorted. Then he collapsed back in his chair in relieved giggles. This could have been a disaster and instead she had given him nothing more than a damned good laugh.

Alice, on the other hand, was not laughing. Bunnies were serious business to her. They calmed her down when she felt the worst of her homicidal urges in the presence of the people that she had come to love and they silenced the ever present voice in her head that told her to set something or _someone_ on fire. Plus they were totally cute. The soft furred rodents were the _only_ reason that she hadn't horribly maimed or murdered half of her very sweet, but very annoying family. They had become so comfortable with her over the past year and a half that they had clearly forgotten just who they were poking fun at or occasionally pranking. She could never forget. It was always there in her brain boiling and bubbling just under the suface. Scitzophrenic. Sociopath. Murderer. Her growing menagerie of apparently useless, lettuce eating, floppy eared friends were the sole reason that Alice Black did not set the world alight just to cackle and laugh as she watched it burn.

After a few seconds the headmaster realised that Alice wasn't joining him in his amusement as she normally did. On the contrary the look on her face told him that far from being amused, she was on the very verge of letting loose her legendarily scary temper. This sobered the old man up fast. He imagined that the look she was giving him now was exactly the expression that she had been wearing right before she had opened up Cornelius Fudge like an over ripe mango. Knowing that he probably only had one chance to calm the psychotic young witch down he turned slowly and carefully to his phoenix familiar.

"Fawkes, would you be an angel and fetch Lady Ginevra Black and Miss Padma Patil. Quickly please old friend."

To buy himself a few more seconds, Albus wandlessly and wordlessly lifted the large bowl of his most prized lemon drops from his desk and deposited it into Alice's lap. He then muttered a short prayer and hoped that Fawkes would return in time.

 **Wizangamot Chamber, Ministry of magic, London. 14th September 1996.**

The election for the new Minister of Magic had been dragging on since January, what with the delays, procrastinations and objections raised by the few members of the Wizangamot who openly supported Voldemort. And they were very few after Alice's very public and very messy disposal of those who either opposed her will or otherwise pissed her off. Being on the Dark Tosser's list of campaign contributors was apparently a surefire way of attracting the Black Princess' attention, and not in a good way. Any attempts at conducting this kind of business surrupticiously was doomed to inevitable and painful failure. It seemed that keeping any sort of underhanded financial transactions secret from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was simply impossible. Those who had sat back and watched the destruction of the Parkinson patriarch had learned a valuable lesson about both the effectiveness of her spy network and her access to some very nasty assassins. Although why she bothered with them was a mystery as she was more than capable of horribly murdering just about anyone she pleased personally and without any regard to the legal consequences whatsoever.

It was in this frame of mind that virtually the whole of the Wizangamot was now willing to vote in Lady Black's preferred candidate for Minister of Magic with no hesitation and barely any argument. None of them wanted the position so much that they were prepared to end up like poor old Malfoy or Parkinson, or worse still the horrifying mess that had been almost unrecogniseable as the previous incumbent, Fudge. This caused a little confusion for the Chief Warlock when he asked the august gathering for their nominations for the, too long, vacant position of the new Minister and recieved over a dozen voices all attempting to be the first one to speak. That wasn't so far removed from what he had expected. No, it was the part where they had all called the same name, that of Madame Amelia Bones, that had him stunned. It was the fact that all of them, light, grey and dark aligned families were all agreeing on a single candidate. This would have made him very happy if it weren't for his, totally justifiable, suspicion that they were all doing so to curry favour with the scary and psychopathic young head of the Black family.

As almost every wand was lit to signal their willingness to second the motion to promote the current head of the DMLE to the number one spot in their ranks, Albus Dumbledore thought to himself that the sheep were quite jittery today. Of course he could rather sympathise with that particular emotion, only having been saved from the young lady in question's wrath in his office the other day by the timely intervention of her wife and her ... pet? Deciding not to push his own luck as far as Alice Black was concerned he ratified their unanimous decision as swiftly as possible. He did not fail to notice the smirk openly gracing the face of Narcissa Black, formerly Malfoy, and her pale, leather clad bodyguard as she sat in proxy to her niece, abstaining from the vote for the sake of appearances.

At least Amelia wouldn't be swayed to Alice's agenda as easily as the rest of these fickle politicians. She was her own woman and an excellent choice really, though he would have preferred someone a touch more likely to bow to his superior counsel like Kingsley Shacklebolt, perhaps. Still it was far from the worst outcome he thought as he eyed the still grinning Narcissa. Thank Merlin the Black family hadn't put her forward. Although not anywhere close to being in the same league as her insane niece, the blonde haired Black would still have been more than enough of a handfull. Hopefully Madame Bones could keep some of Alice's most violent tendancies in check.

 **Gryffindor Married Quarters, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 15th September 1996.**

The two black haired teens stared uncomfortably at one another across the coffee table laden with the tea and cakes that Kreacher had deemed appropriate for such a grave and important meeting. It had taken Harry Potter over two weeks to work up the courage to ask for help from the infamous young woman in front of him but now that he was here all he seemed able to do was stare at her strange and insane mis-matched eyes. She, in turn, gazed cooly back at him with a, half amused, half annoyed smirk gracing her fine, aristocratic features. Realising that he was probably coming across as being incredibly creepy and remembering how extremely unwise it was to piss off the Black Princess, Harry studied his half empty tea cup and took a few deep, calming breaths. He gathered all of his considerable courage in his hands and finally made a start on the conversation that he had come here to have.

"Um ... so, Lady Black."

"Alice."

"What?"

"My name is Alice, Harry and I would consider it a personal favour if you would call me by it. Lady Black is so formal and we are friends. I hope. So, just Alice, if you please."

"Ah. Right. Um ... Alice."

"Yes Harry, what can I help you with?"

Well ... um ... Alice. It's Neville. Longbttom that is. Well me really. Well me and Neville I suppose ..."

In an uncharacteristic show of understanding and in order not to be detained too late and miss her, much more fun, social engagement with Ginny, Padma and a few of their more _interesting_ toys, Alice decided to take pity on the stumbling, red faced 'boy -who-lived'. She held up her hand to halt his bumbling flow of embarrassment and gave him a kind smile.

"Let me guess. You want my advice on how to approach the newly ripped and studdly personage of Scion Longbottom and perhaps give you tips on how to successfully woo the young man, yes?"

His earnest, nodding face shone in hapiness as he gazed, adoringly, at her and those gorgeous big emerald green eyes sparkled in the firelight. Alice thought that, next to her wife, he was possibly one of the cutest things that she had ever seen. It was such a shame that he was the wrong gender, if he was a girl she wouldn't have been able to stop herself throwing Harry to the floor and fucking her brains out right here on the rug. She briefly wondered if Severus had a potion that could permanently (though she could work with temporarily) rearrange a person's chromosomes. Alice could just imagine the pretty young man with a pair of 36 C's, wide voluptuous hips and a slick wet ...

"Errr. Are you okay Alice?"

Delicately wiping the drool from her mouth, the raven haired lunatic quickly banished her lustful thoughts and turned her formidable mind away from the pursuit of her own pleasure and towards that of helping her new friend. Although she did make a mental note to see if Gin Gin would be up for a little role playing while wearing green contact lenses and a lightning bolt scar on her forehead later on tonight. Lady Voldemort amd her naughty, nudie nemesis sounded like such a fun game. Fuck this was hard work concentrating tonight. Help now, play later.

"Hmmm. Oh yes, I'm fine thank-you Harry. As to your problem, I do have a few suggestions. Tell me are you averse to a little ... chemical assistance? Just a little relaxing something to smooth the path as it were."

The 'boy-who-lived's feral, excited grin told her that he wasn't. Oh goody. Planning a seduction, even by proxy, was always more fun when those involved didn't have any of those pesky moral objections to get in the way. Summoning her potions kit from the study Alice gave lop sided grin and cackled madly as she rubbed her hands together with glee. Harry was about to get a lesson in some of the highly illegal, if ultimately rewarding, methods of attracting a bed-time sex mate from one of the best in the business. Harry, himself would look back on this evening as definitely the most useful two hours of instruction that he ever received at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

 **Mlle delacour's Private Quarters, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 18th September 1996.**

Fleur was feeling unusually nervous as Seven O'Clock approached. Although as a part veela she was an intensely sexual being she was also, in many ways, a very old fashioned kind of a girl. For her that meant no sex before the third date. Which was tonight. It briefly crossed her mind that the young woman who was attending her this evening probably hadn't realised that these 'extra study' sessions were in fact dates but dismissed the thought instantly. She wasn't about to let a little thing like the truth spoil her grand plans for the deliciously cute and charming Miss Chang. Also, the gorgeous Asian witch had a habit of wearing her uniform with a good deal less in the way of restriction than was the norm and Fleur found that this, among certain other assets, captured her attention in a most delightful way. No. There was no way she was going to let this goddess with the saucy, guttural accent get away from her now. Tonight was the night that she would teach this naughty witch a lesson from which she would never recover.

Unknown to her, the general truth of this random, sexually driven thought from professor Delacour would be proved beyond the shadow of a doubt this evening. It was just the specifics that would be a touch different. Instead of just her student being the one overwhelmed, it would be the both of them who would be changed forever. The quiet, but expected knock at her door still startled her and Fleur held her hand to her fluttering chest for a moment to calm herself. Merde, what was going on with her? This was by no means her first rodeo and she was not used to feeling so utterly nerve stricken. Putting her fear and nerves to one side for now she opened the door and nearly fainted dead away at the awesome beauty of the sight before her. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Clad simply in stilettos and a short (oh so short), tight (oh so tight), white (oh so white) strapless dress that showed off vast swathes of her cafe creme coloured skin, Cho Chang stood in the doorway, patiently awaiting her punishment. Transfixed by the caramel vision glowing in the torchlight of the hallway Fleur was only able to whisper her appreciation.

"Mon Dieu, T'es une ange."

Smiling at the heartfelt compliment from her long time crush, Cho replied in the language that she had been tirelessly practicing since before the summer in the hope of impressing this very woman.

"Merci beaucoup, Mademoiselle la professeur. Est ce que je entrer dans?"

The combination of the girl, her beauty, _that_ dress and the insanely sexy way that her broad Scottish brogue accented the innocent French phrase had Fleur virtually wetting her knickers in anticipation. Well it would have done had she been wearing any. Emitting a deep, feral growl she yanked Cho off of her feet and into her quarters and slammed the door hard behind them.

Cho Chang was not to emerge again for nearly ten hours and only did so then with no useable underwear, a torn white dress, a borrowed cloak and a big dopey grin on her face.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 19th September 1996.**

There was much boisterous good humour among the ranks of the red coated group of girls at breakfast this morning. Most of which centered around the blushing Scottish/Asian witch and her failure to return to her Ravenclaw dorm the previous night, as relayed to them by the gloating and pleased looking Marietta Edgecome. She in particular had taken a great deal of satisfaction in telling the others about her observation of the Ravenclaw seeker's 'walk of shame' at a little after Five Thirty this morning. And although the only spoken reaction between the two was a muttered "Looks like someone had a good night." neither her lascivious smile nor Cho's very cute blush had faded since then. Before the group in general could really get stuck into extracting the gory details of their beautiful friend's night of debauchery from her, a sudden hush from the hall signified the entrance of a certain French Ancient Runes professor.

This, of course, prompted cat calls, wolf whistles and a great deal of dirty laughter from the SHAGS club members and the renewed blushes of a certain Miss Chang.

"Ooh look Cho Cho, it's your girlfriend."

One look at the rumpled clothes and tousled hair of the platinum blonde veela, not to mention the self satisfied, just been fucked six ways to Sunday smirk on her, usually expressionless, face and the need for details was suddenly no longer necessary. Fun, yes. Necessary, no.

"Yeah, you are sooo not a virgin any more Chang."

"Fucks sake, will you lot shut the fuck up. Someone's going tae hear ye."

It was far too late for that. Everyone had heard and at the volume that Marietta's supposed hushed comment had boomed forth across the great hall it was hardly surprising really. Thankfully, the reactions to this juicy piece of gossip were almost totally positive. From the impressed, if incredibly fucking jealous, students of both genders to the quiet sympathy and support of her fellow staff members (they had all been there at some time or other during their teaching careers) there only appeared to be one face that showed any form of displeasure. The headmaster had to quickly school his facial expression to that of a kindly and profoundly deaf old grandfather figure before his part time assistant potions mistress caught sight of him. He _really_ didn't want to piss her off again if he could help it.

Given his newest, and arguably prettiest, professor's part creature nature he wasn't that surprised at her taking a lover. He was a little worried that she had chosen a student for her nocturnal activities, but at least the girl was a seventh year and of age. Still it was technically a breach of trust that could have potentially devasting consequences for both teacher and student, as well as himself, if it got out. Honestly, he had thought that it would be their raven haired leader who would have been the one to put young Miss Delacour in this rather precarious position but having seen Alice's connection to her partners he supposed he should not have been that surprised really. Mrs Ginny Black and Miss Padma Patil were probably the only reason he was able to be sitting here today and witnessing this event.

A smile broke out from the confines of his self imposed, stoic mask as he surveyed the cheering, giggling females eating and feeding one of the nine ( _nine_ for Merlin's sake) cute, multicoloured bunny rabbits hopping about their table. It was a happy reminder that capitulating to the tempestuous Lady Alice Black usually brought about more fun experiences for him than painful ones. She was right. Rabbits really were unbelievably cute. He caught her eye, bowing slightly with his hand to his chest and was rewarded with a blinding smile from the odd eyed girl. Apparently he was forgiven. He was also very bloody relieved.

 **Minister's Office, Ministry of magic, London. 25th September 1996.**

Amelia Bones, newly inducted Minister of Magic, scowled as she read the top secret and suspiciously anonymous report laying open on her overly large desk. In incredible detail and accuracy the folder's contents revealed the particulars of the movements of the giant clans through the continent, seeming to converge on a point in Southern Norway. It also laid bare the fact that someone had been busy recruiting rogue, mercenary hit wizards throughout Eastern Europe who were heading to that same fjord ridden country. Her conclusion agreed entirely with the mysterious author of this fine piece of investigative work that a large and powerful army was being assembled for one express purpose. An invasion. Voldemort was finally getting ready to take Britain for himself.

She pulled parchment and quill toward her and started to outline how they would be preparing to meet this attack upon the lives and liberty of the population of their small island. This was going to be a long night. There were people to inform, protective details to put in place and a great deal of logistical planning to be done. Doing it all on her own would certainly be the safest option from a security point of view but honestly, she doubted if they had that kind of time. Perhaps she should call in a few trusted and talented people to assist her. Going through a mental list of those with the talent, power and discretion needed she had crossed off almost every name for some reason or another. Hmmm, perhaps discretion wasn't as big of a requirement as she thought. If it weren't there was one name that leapt to mind as being the perfect accomplice for the strongest possible defence.

"Auror Tonks-Black."

The pink haired young woman tumbled into her office and stood at a sloppy attention in front of her.

"Yes boss ... I mean Minister Bones ... Ma'am."

"I wonder if you would be good enough to ask your Aunt to pop in and see me?"

"You want to see Aunt Cissy?"

Nym was confused.

"No Nymphadora, your _other_ Aunt. Bellatrix Black."

"Oh fuck me."

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _"I wonder if you would be good enough to ask your Aunt to pop in and see me?"_

 _"You want to see Aunt Cissy?"_

 _Nym was confused._

 _"No Nymphadora, your other Aunt. Bellatrix Black."_

 _"Oh fuck me."_

 **CHAPTER 24.**

 **Haugesund Fjord, Norway. 28th September 1996.**

Augustus Rookwood and the Carrow twins stood on the cliff top with their Dark Lord and surveyed the growing camp in the magically hidden fjord several hundred feet below them. They nervously watched Voldemort as he stroked the head of his large pet snake, Nagini, and gave what passed for a toothless, humourless smile in his limited facial range. Deep in cogitation the resurrected form of Tom Riddle was beginning to see a brighter outlook for his second attempt at the grand pureblood revolution. It was about bloody time too after the disappointments of the early summer. The confirmation of his first and fiercest lieutenant, Bellatrix Black's traitorous desertion of their cause to join her daughter and her husband, Sirius' death had come as a hammer blow to him. If the unwavering loyalty of the most trusted of his inner circle could be swayed by Alice Black, then there was truly no hope for the rest of his dwindling band of native British followers.

Lady Alice Black. Now there was a study in madness for you. He remembered being rather impressed by her at first, and who in his position wouldn't have been. The girl was even more terrifyingly insane and vicious than her mother, which was a feat in itself, but she also commanded the love and respect of those who willingly bent their knee to her magnificence. She reminded him so much of himself that he had even been willing to overlook her bloody slaughter of his minions and offer her a place at his side. What a future that could have been. The purest of the ancient lines married to his immortal and unmatched magical power, their descendants could have ruled for millennia to come. The revelation that she was actually a deviant blood traitor who wouldn't have been interested in him even in his handsome prime, let alone now that he looked like a demonic half serpent, had put a serious dent in his plans last year. Although her dark and torturous murder of her own father had briefly reignited his hopes, they were only to be dashed once again as she married that awful ginger Weasley girl. There was no helping it now. She was going to have to die.

Looking back at the collection of ferocious giants and dark wizard mercenaries drinking, fucking and fighting in the large sprawling camp on the beach beneath the cliff, he was sure that even the vaunted Black Princess could not hope to assemble an army capable of stopping him now. He would make her watch as they killed her friends and family in the most gruesome and painful way possibe before he, himself, duelled her at the last stand of the House of Black. The girl would certainly make it interesting for him he was sure but there would only be one winner in the end. Regretfully he would spill her precious, magical, life blood to ensure the proper place of wizards in the world and her ending would be an object lesson to all those who dared to oppose him in the future.

 **Minister of Magic's Private Office, Ministry of magic, London. 29th September 1996.**

Alice and Bellatrix Black sat facing each other on either side of the large, ornate desk looking equally bored as Dumbledore and Bonesy's Aunt Amy, or the Minister of Magic as she was now, droned on about something or other. Bella was bored. One look at the pouting face of her daughter sitting across from her told her that Alice was suffering as well. When she had agreed to work with Amelia, she had thought that running around the Ministry being the right hand for the biggest boss in the place would be all kinds of fun. It was not. In actuallity they spent an incredible amount of time talking and writing things down, making lists of people and supplies and gathering allies for the coming fight. It was all so very dull. Dull-o-rama, as her darling daughter would have put it. Also she was having to be on her best behaviour. This job was definitely not what she had imagined it would be. In her troubled, muddled mind Bellatrix had thought that she woud be Bonesy's enforcer, like she had been for the Dark Lord, running around crucio-ing everyone who disagreed with the Minister's decisions. To discover that it was mostlly talking and taking notes was a great disappointment to her. That was not what she was good at and, quite honestly, she felt a bit useless and redundant here.

Not that this was a new feeling for Bella since her defection to her daughter's camp. Alice was just so talented and independent that there had been very little for her to do other than sit around at the Black manor and annoy her sisters. It was why she had leapt at this chance to be Amelia's second in command, an offer relayed to her by Andromeda's funny and interesting daughter, just to escape the boredom and frustration. It may not be the most exciting job in the world but it kept her busy and stopped her from exercising her homicidal tendancies. Well, during the day at least. The residents of Knockturn Alley had begun to dread the sun going down of late as she and Cissy's vampire lover had been rather over achieving in respect to thinning out the population of potential Death Eaters located there. Also it didn't hurt that there were some quite scrummy young junior aurors and secretaries for her to play with at work and as she wasn't anywhere near as discriminating as Alice, she could usually find a warm body to help relieve some tension in the lunch hour. Bellatrix had made somewhat of a game of it, seeing if she could get a one hundred percent completion rate as far as fucking the many witches and wizards of the typing pool went.

Honestly, the actual job came a bit of poor second when compared to her nefarious extra curricular activities but Amelia didn't seem to mind too much. In fact the always serious new Minister for Magic appeared to get herself quite hot under the collar when Bella started to relate her sexual misadventures in the the various lavatories and closets dotted around the building. She wondered if the stern woman who had been one her ex husband's first and most enduring crushes would be up for a little after work fun herself. Bella hadn't seen it back when they were at school but now she kind of got it. Amelia Bones had aged very well indeed and looked like she could certainly use the stress relief that some no strings, energetic sexual adventures she had planned would bring. Look at her making all these useful connections and alliances. Alice would be very proud of her mother.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm. Whassat?"

The raven haired nutter came out of her reverie to find herself looking into the smirking face of her lovely daughter, who appeared to be trying her very hardest not to laugh at her. She and Alice were so scarily similar that each seemed to know exactly what the other was thinking at any given time, which was why the grinning little fuckbag was now subtly licking the hole formed by the two first fingers of her left hand. Smug bitch.

"Albus was asking if you had any ideas on how to evacuate Hogsmeade if the Death Eaters hit there on their way to Hogwarts."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"You're that sure that he'll go for the school rather than the Ministry."

"Severus says that he's planning to hit both places simultaneously. I am quite positive that he himself will be leading the attack on Hogwarts, if only to get to Harry Potter. And maybe myself of course."

The old man gave a self deprecating smile that nobody in the office bought for one second, in fact Alice gave a snorting, choking cough of a laugh. To his great credit Dumbledore looked suitably sheepish at her reaction.

"Yes the dark Lord always did have a bit of a hard on for the boy, and for you of course. I always wondered about that actually. I don't suppose the two of you ever ... ? No? Oh well, that's another theory out of the window then. As for the Hogsmeade issue, why don't you ask Andi and Emma, that clinic of theirs is built like a fucking fortress."

Oh yeah, Alice had been the guest of honour at the opening ceremony last week. The High Lady of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black slapped her forehead with her palm in an extremely accurate impression of a certain overweight, yellow skinned cartoon character.

"Doh!"

 **Quidditch Pitch, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 29th September 1996.**

Ginny felt the wind whipping through her long red hair and screamed in sheer pleasure as she put her broom into a death defying, exhilarating vertical dive. Her slender hands gripped tightly to the smooth wooden shaft of her new Firebolt mark 2, that was a gift from her wife, steering the magnificent piece of equipment close enough to her opponent to feel the slightest of brushes on her extended elbow. She laughed in delight at the shocked scream that emanated from her Slytherin friend as she buzzed her. Millicent, while not so keen on the proximity of Ginny's pass or the noise that she had just made in response, found herself rather more impressed with the speed and performance of the red headed girl's broom. She was literally running rings around her. Of course with her larger and heavier frame Milly was much more suited to her usual position of beater not chasing around after skinny little seekers. As much as she would have loved to have slow Ginny down by breaking her broom in half with a well aimed bludger, there were two very good reasons why she couldn't. The first was the fact that, as this was only an impromtu pick up game between herself, Ginny, Cho and the three Gryffindor chasers and they weren't using anything but the quaffle. Second, and far more pertinent, was the fact that she was sure that Alice would, quite literally, kill her in an extremely painful and imaginative manner if she harmed Ginny or her new toy in any way. Shaking off the shudder that accompanied this thought, Milly set her jaw and shot off after the laughing fifth year.

The six girls were having so much fun in the Saturday afternoon sunshine that they entirely failed to notice a pair of small blondes entering the game until they had stolen the quaffle. Sally and Luna used their amazing power of spaced out, dreamy lethargy to intercept the red ball time and time again, seeming to have an almost telepathic connection in their strange, occaisionally upside down interplay. As much as the original, more serious, players moaned at their antics they were all having a fantastic amount of fun and the once structured game descended into a crazy anarchic free for all. Soon enough they had gained an audience as the rest of the SHAGS club along with a few interested observers gathered in the stands to watch.

Hermione Granger found herself sitting next to a, refreshingly quiet and submissive, pair of Slytherin girls as they watched the insanity of no rules quidditch taking place above them. Pansy Parkinson and her female companion (Lolly?, Lilly? something) had made her life absolute hell in her first few years here at Hogwarts and had only really stopped when she was befriended by the dark and dangerous Alice Black. Sure that there was an ulterior motive at work here so she decided to keep a close eye on the pair. If they were after redemption then Hermione would welcome it. And if not. Well Alice wasn't the only one with _skills_. She ducked as her irrepressible girlfriend swooped down in front of them and hoisted a surprised Lillian Moon up onto her broom behind her before shooting off again to re-enter the fray. Before long the other players had followed her example so that each broom now groaned under the weight of at least two witches.

"Why didn't you go with her. Isn't she your girlfriend?"

"No fucking way am I going up there with those idiots."

"Testify, sister."

Without so much as a single glance to each other the two former enemies smirked and bumped fists in silent agreement. There was a brief pause before the giggling began. Hermione's howling, snorting laughter turned out to be highly infectious as both of the young witches doubled over and held their sides in perfect synchronicity. And in one extremely brief conversation Pansy Parkinson had found herself an unlikely way into the infamous Hogwarts SHAGS club. Who would have thought it. Her and Granger bonding over their mutual dislike of flying in general and of the stupidly dangerous fucking game that was quidditch in particular. Nobody would have believed it. Least of all herself.

 **Gryffindor Married Quarters, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 1st October 1996.**

"Alice love, we have a visitor."

"Tell them to fuck off."

The voice from the back bedroom of the Black's suite of rooms was harsh, petulant and sounded like it was in no mood to be trifled with. Albus Dumbledore shuddered as he remembered the last time he had heard that tone in his office last week.

"Sorry headmaster, I'm afraid my wife is in one of her _moods_ right now, but don't worry. You just sit and wait in front of the fire and I'll get her out here to talk to you."

Dumbledore smiled wanly at the former Miss Weasley and nodded in way of both agreeing with her and understanding the unenviable position that he had just put her in. As he watched her disappear into the bedroom he sighed and hung his head tiredly. There were many places he would rather be tonight but the headmaster had several things that he desperately needed to discuss with Alice Black. Things that they could not talk about in front of the new Minister of Magic. Things of questionable legality. Things for which the raven haired head of the House of Black was regarded, by him at least, as an acknowledged mistress. Time was running short. Tom was on the move again and he needed to prepare the castle's defences for the inevitable attack.

His smile became wider as his deceptively good hearing for a man of his advanced years caught some of the _negotiations_ taking place in the bedroom. Ginevra Black really was becoming an exceptionally skilled politician although he doubted that that she would be using some of the some of the more interesting and entertaining sounding bribes that were being offered to secure her wife's attention. Albus desperately attempted, but failed, to tune out when things became rather more fruity as Alice had clearly decided to take a down payment before she capitulated completely. Ah, young love he thought as he heard one of the witches in question request that whatever was being done to her was done 'harder, fucking harder' and the other's response that she was their 'slutty little bitch'. It wasn't really his cup of tea, Albus had always found girls more than a touch icky, but even he couldn't help but be moved by their obvious and disturbingly noisy passion. Still, if it would help bring the Black Princess out of her bedroom and into his castle defence conference then he would swallow his gag reflex and listen to her cries of ecstacy for as long as was necessary. No matter how much it made him want 'hurl chunks' as the young people would say.

"What's up, Head bitch?"

The mentallist in chief bounced energetically into the room and kissed the surprised Albus Dumbledore on hs exposed cheek leaving behind a slightly damp patch and strange, musky aroma that the old man hoped wasn't what he thought it was. He looked at the maniacally grinning, black haired lunatic and knew that it definitely was exactly what he thought. Euwww.

"That's an interesting perfume Lady Alice."

"Mmmmm, it's new. I call it 'Essence of Ginger'. Isn't it lovely?"

Dumbledore felt himself throw up a little bit into his mouth at her confirmation of his worst fears and, swallowing the bile back down hard, forced a smile onto his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. Steeling himself against the wave of nausia that her comments had caused he girded his loins and plunged into the reason for this visit.

"As you know Alice, our old friend 'Mouldy Shorts' is currently poised across the North Sea gathering his forces and readying himself for his attack."

"I know all this, we just had that meeting with Bonesy and my mum. Like yesterday. Remember?"

It was three days ago, but whatever.

"Yes, I'm not quite that senile yet, thank-you Alice. There were certain things that I was reluctant to discuss in front of the new Minister of Magic and former head of the DMLE. Things that involved some of the less than legal activities and acquaintances of a certain Head of a certain Noble and Most Ancient House."

"Honestly Albers, she's got mummy working for her, one of the most feared, violent and insane death eaters to ever don the mask. Do you really think that she's worried about what's legal at this point."

"Point taken, but be that as it may, we still have the large and smelly problem of giants probably attacking our school and how we are going to deal with them ... effectively. Now when I was on the continent in the fourties I saw a great metal machine that the muggles used, with a long nose like a nelefump that sneezed with such devasting power that I felt quite overwhelmed. I was thinking that perhaps if _someone_ , naming no names, could surrupticiously _acquire_ one of these remarkable machines we would be in a far better position, defensively speaking."

"Are you talking about a tank, Alby?"

" _That's_ what they called it. A _tank_. Do you think you might be able to 'find' one."

"Hmmmm. I'm not sure about one. How does six sound?"

A very naked, and pretty sore, Ginny peered around the door of the bedroom just in time to see the mental ravenette that was her wife fall off of her chair in hysterical fit of the giggles. She looked between Alice and the chortling, watery eyed headmaster wondering how the daft old coot had managed to get her laughing so fast. True, she was the one who had started Alice's mood change from pissed off to horny but it was Dumbledore who, as always, had reduced her to a giggling mess. Well, except for that one time, that is. She and Puppy had barely been able to prevent the furious, mad eyed witch from re-decorating the headmaster's office in a vivid shade of Chief Warlock blood red. Now, however, it seemed that all was forgiven and the giggle twins were back to their boisterous best. Thank Morgana for small mercies.

 **The Granger/Black Dental and Healthcare Clinic, Hogsmeade. 3rd October 1996.**

When Andromeda Black stepped from her consulting room and into the well appointed waiting area she was greeted by the sight of a room full of people virtually sitting each others laps in order be as far away from the dour, black robed man seated in the corner, as possible. It was obvious that professor Snape's prescence here, as in any other room populated by the students of Hogwarts school, was about as welcome as an outbreak of hemorrhoids at a buggery convention.

"Severus, what on Merlin's green earth are you doing here."

"I thought it was rather obvious. I'm here to have my teeth checked."

"I See."

She didn't. What she did see, however, was the extremely nervous faces of everybody else in the waiting room, including the receptionist, a rather pretty, if not terribly bright, former student of his.

"Well I'm sure that no-one will mind if we bump you up the list a bit. There should be _some_ perks to be a friend of the family, after all."

The audible sigh of relief from the room in general told her that nobody did, in fact, mind and that they were all very grateful indeed to her for removing the sour faced, greasy haired teacher from their immediate vicinity. Although the more observant and intelligent among them had obviously caught her 'friend of the family' comment and were looking at their professor with a good deal more speculative interest now. Unfortunately the receptionist, Wendy, was not among these and squeaked and dropped her quill as she attempted to take the pre treatment details from her former potions class tormentor. Once the paperwork was completed with much nervous shufling and staring at feet, Andi approached the door to the other treatment room and knocked once before entering.

"Emma dear, I have your next vict ... er ... patient. Emma, this is Severus, the Hogwarts potions master. Severus, this is Doctor Emma Granger. Hermione's mother."

"Oh dear."

He stood transfixed by the plain looking, middle aged muggle woman with the familiar bushy brown hair, who appeared to holding some sort of shiny, medieval torture device in her blue latex gloved hands. Severus Snape was now seriously regretting his prior treatment of the muggleborn know-it-all / brightest witch of her generation as his new dentist gave him a predatory grin that reminded him far too much of Alice Black for his liking.

"Ah the famous professor Snape. I can't begin to tell you how much I've been looking forward to getting my hands on _you_. We're going to have such _fun_."

Three hours later a severely chastened Severus Snape trudged slowly up to the hospital wing in search of Madame Pomfrey holding his aching, swollen jaw in an immense amount of pain. The Dark Lord's crucio's had nothing on the awesome amount of agony that he had just endured at the hands of the woman who would, forever more, be spoken about in hushed tones as simply, _'the dentist_ '. He made a careful mental note to avoid, ever again, upsetting a certain bushy haired, Gryffindor witch, lest she report back to the demon from the ninth level of hell that was her mother. If this was how the Blacks and the Grangers treated family friends he definitely did not want to experience at first hand how they dealt with their enemies.

 **Okay so the update every two days didn't last long but the consolation is that this story is now finished. I just (just he says, what a fucking idiot!) have to type up, edit and upload the remaining five chapters.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	25. Chapter 25

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _He made a careful mental note to avoid, ever again, upsetting a certain bushy haired, Gryffindor witch, lest she report back to the demon from the ninth level of hell that was her mother. If this was how the Blacks and the Grangers treated family friends he definitely did not want to experience at first hand how they dealt with their enemies_.

 **CHAPTER 25.**

 **Mlle Delacour's Private Quarters, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 14th October 1996.**

The distant rumbling sound and vibration through the floorboards and into the bed in which she was dozing woke the pretty, asian, Ravenclaw witch at, what she considered, was a far too early an hour. Cho Chang lay still for a few minutes, luxuriating in the warmth of the softest mattress that she had ever experienced. It also helped that she had a tall, gorgeous, naked young part veela tightly wrapped around her, breathing deeply and occaisionally snuggling deeper into her chest. She gazed lovingly at the cutely snoring, platinum haired beauty in her arms and wondered, not for the first time in the last fortnight, just how she had got quite this lucky. Despite the fact that she been manouvering herself into the position to attempt a seduction of the young Ancient Runes professor, it had still taken Cho by surprise when she had been dragged into the woman's quarters on the night of her third detention and shagged senseless. Apparently the dress that Hannah had lent her had done the trick, which was unsurprising really as it was so incredibly tight that she may as well have been naked. This was attested to by the fact that it had required extensive repairs the next morning before she could return it. This would have been such a lovely Sunday morning if it hadn't been for that bastard rumbling.

That fucking noise outside was driving her nuts. Not Alice nuts, but ... well, you get the point. Carefully disentangling herself from her blonde lover, trying not to disturb the still sleeping woman, Cho rose and headed to the window fully intending to give whoever it was making all that racket a bloody good piece of her mind. When she reached the window and looked out, however, that thought disapperared very quickly. Six large tanks were crossing the Hogwarts grounds churning up the rain soaked grass and covered in scaret coated young women. Oh fucking hell. She had totally forgotten about the plan to have the Black Tank Corps station their panzers in one of the school's outbuildings in preparation for the assault that they all knew was coming. Desperately routing around for her uniform while trying to pull on one of her boots Cho fell back on the edge of the bed, cracking her head on the corner post.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Well if you insist mon petit chout."

Before Cho could react the, now not so sleepy veela had rolled her over and pinned her to the bed with her arms above her head. The two of them struggled against each other for a minute or two, making both a little hot and bothered, before the Ravenclaw heard a metallic click and closed her eyes in resignation and defeat. Re-opening them she gave Fleur a hard glare which ony caused the smirking French witch to openly giggle at her ... girlfriend?

"What is ze matter m'ange. Est ce que t'aves somewhere to be maintenant?"

Cho Chang knew that she was in trouble as soon as she heard the deceptively cute mixture of French and English. When Fleur Delacour slipped into Franglais it meant that she was excited. Really excited. Shite. As much fun as this Sunday was likely to now be, Cho knew that she would be paying for it tomorrow when she finally escaped the veela's cutches and would be forced to give an explanation for her absence to the scary Sergeant Susan Bones. And the scarier Lieutenant Hermione Granger. And the much scarier Alice Black. Oh she may as well enjoy herself now then she thought, giving her hips a wiggle to reposition her pelvic bone directly into the centre of the French woman's clit. She was rewarded by a strangled hiss and a whispered ...

"Merde. Je vais baiser vous si difficile, salope."

Even if she hadn't been studying French for the last three months, Cho would still have known what _that_ meant just by the tone of her partner's voice. The black haired young Scots/Asian witch was in for a serious fucking. Mmmmmm. Best. Sunday. Ever.

 **Potions Classroom, The Dungeons, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 16th October 1996.**

"Today my sweet ones, we will be working on something a little different. Muggle chemistry."

She rolled her eyes at the mass outbreak of groans that erupted from her first years, both magical and muggle born alike.

"Now, now." Alice chastised gently. "The techniques and safety precautions that we will be exercising today will serve as a basis for all your future preparations of high toxicity potions."

"What exactly are we makng professor Alice?"

The small, blue eyed, bookish, Hermione clone was asking Alice a question that she really didn't want to answer. Granted that the magical children, along with most of the muggle raised, would most likely not recognise the name of the thing they were going to be unwittingly making today, but there was always one smart arse in the bunch and today her name was Michaela Jordan. She decided to try the time honoured technique of baffling them with bullshit.

"We are going to be making a certain chemical compound by nitrating glycerol with white fuming nitric acid under conditions appropriate to the formation of the nitric acid ester. Now then my lovelies, this compound when formed is known to be rather ... um ... explosive in nature so we shall all be taking a great deal of care with it. Just as you would if preparing some of the more dangerous magical potions like the draught of living death or even something as seemingly innocuous as amortentia. Alright?"

There was an interested, if slightly bemused, chorus of "Yes professor Black" from the young wizards and witches. Alice grinned hugely at them and started to give out the necessary apparatus and instructions for todays 'lesson'. As they began to 'brew' she opened up her copy of The Anarchist's Cookbook and circulated around the room giving helpfull tips on how to achieve a clearer solution and also how to avoid blowing themselves up. By the time the double period was over she had gathered twenty eight sample vials and twenty eight steel cauldrons filled to the brim with the highly volatile and highly explosive substance known as trinitroglycerine.

After the firsties had all filed out to head for their next class, the Hogwarts chief potions master slipped into the room and began examining their efforts while Alice was preoccupied with dancing around the class singing at the top of her voice.

 _"Boom shake, shake, shake the room."_

 _"Boom shake, shake, shake the room."_

 _"Boom shake, shake, shake the room."_

A slight, but pervasive, cough interrupted her.

"Lady Black. Silly question, I know, but ... why exactly were you just having your first year class making dynamite?"

"It's not dynamite Sev, it's nitroglycerine."

"Oh ... well that's _much_ better."

He murmered sarcastically as he started backing slowly and carefully out of the dungeon, only to be stopped in his tracks by the gawking crowd of his fifth year combined Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw class. The nervous professor and the incredulous students stared at each other for a moment before a wicked idea popped into the black robed teacher's sharp and sneaky mind.

"I have far more important matters to attend to today than attempting to teach you morons how not to kill youselves, or me, with your incompetence, and as such you will have your lesson today with assistant potions mistress Black."

The wide eyed and jubilant fifth years burst into the classroom just in time to Alice levitating a large number of cauldrons into a heavilly over engineered strongbox while finishing up the last line of her song (?) with a great deal of gusto. If not melodic tonality.

 _"Tick, tick, tick, tick, BOOM!"_

Turning from her task Alice's mad, mis-matched eyes fell upon the stunned group of new arrivals and she rubbed her hands together with glee.

"Ah wonderful. More budding chemists."

 **The Granger/Black Dental and Healthcare Clinic, Hogsmeade. 18th October 1996.**

Minerva MacGonnagal, deputy headmistress and transfiguration professor at Hogwarts School lay back in the dentists chair and hummed with delight as the charming and funny Doctor Granger worked on her molars. After Severus' horror stories about 'the dentist' she had made an appointment herself the very next day in order to see what all the fuss was about. She had found Doctor Emma Granger to be a lovely, funny and absolutely charming woman, who had the added benefit of always smelling so pretty and was in possession of a quite magnificent pair of tits. It was just such a shame that she was married, if she wasn't then her star pupil, Hermione, would have had a new second mummy in no time at all. To say that Minerva was rather taken with the muggle tooth doctor would be a very big understatement indeed. This had become evident to Emma after Wendy, their receptionist, had expressed surprise at the fact that the deputy headmistress had booked a standing appointment for every Monday afternoon until July.

It wasn't only the pleasant company that Minerva came for, however. Nearly seven decades of neglect caused by the over use of scourgifys for cleaninng and pain potions for all other problems had left her teeth in a very sad state. After she had received the patented Emma Granger disappointed and ever so slightly angry half lecture, half rant about the importance of good dental hygiene, she had meekly accepted every proceedure that the dentist demanded. A high threshold for pain and the calming presence of the lovely Doctor Granger, not to mention the spectacular view down her top whenever she bent over Minerva, made it an altogether relaxing experience. It was not surprising then that she found herself using this time, free of the pressures and responsibilities of the classroom or castle administration, to start planning for the upcoming battle.

While the headmaster was busy ordering the castle defences such as the gargoyles and suits of armour he was leaving the organisation of the staff and older students to herself. Originally Minerva had thought to only use the sixth and seventh years who wished to help but then she had recalled the fifth years on the roster of alice Black's SHAGS club. The sight of the Back Tank Corps rolling into Hogwarts had left her open mouthed with both shock and admiration. She had known that Alice had been up to something what with all the private meetings that the 'Black Princess' had been having with Albus lately, but this was something else. Minerva had not always been a teacher and had spent a good part of her youth travelling the world so she was aware of the existence of tanks, she had just never expected to see one here at Hogwarts. Let alone in the possession of the head of the 'toujours pur' Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Although this particular head of that infamous old family was rather widely known for breaking all kinds of rules, so why not using muggle war machines to blow her enemies to bits. If they had worked out a way to reflect spells and depending on the number of attackers they would be facing, then the rest of them may not be required at all.

What a pleasant thought that was. Minerva MacGonnagal had seen more than enough war in her lifetimme that she was quite happy to leave the fighting to others. Especially to those who seemed to have such an affinity for violence like Alice and Bellatrix Black. Sighing once again she snuggled further into the depths of the comfortable dentists chair and focused on the important things in life. Like ogling Doctor Granger's smashing tits.

 **The Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 22nd October 1996.**

In a clearing in the very heart of the forbidden forest a very large, very ugly and very smelly giant was magically chained up between two enormous, thousand year old trees. He roared and cursed and spat at the two very tiny (compared to him) witches who were stood a few yards away surveying him with considerable interest. The bushy haired brunette girl turned to the one with the wild, differently coloured eyes and was waving her hands about the place and shouting at her.

"Alice. Where the bloody hell did you get that from?"

"Nym and some of her auror pals found him wandering the fens in East Anglia, looking all lost and alone."

"So of all the people your cousin should have reported this to she called _you_."

"Mummy actually, but she may or may not have sworn them all to secrecy and then sent him here so that we could experiment."

"Eeeuuwwww."

"Not _that_ kind of experiment you perv."

"You have your wife dress up as the boy who fucking lived and shag each each other senseless while having your little pet sex slave piss all over the pair of you and _I'm_ the motherfucking pervert?"

Ah. Alice guessed that she, Ginny and Padma hadn't been quite as discrete (or alone) as they had thought in the astronomy tower last night. Rather than get into a slanging match with Hermione about who was the bigger pervert, mainly because she would definitely lose, Alice decided to take the high road (for once) and simply gave the other girl a brilliant, if slightly mad, smile. The bushy haired witch was surprised at the lack of argument from her friend, but as their disagreements about appropriate behaviour could last for quite some time, sighed in reluctant acceptance of their impasse and moved on. They obviously had bigger fish to fry.

"Fine. What experiments are we going to be conducting, Alice?"

In the end Hermione had got increasingly caught up in their exploration of how trinitroglycerine could affect the physiology of the massively over sized semi humans. They had varied quantities and targeted various body parts with similarly poor results. Using the vials as a sort of magically propelled hand grenade was not terribly effective, or even useful as all they had managed to do so far was to give him some painful looking bruises and piss the huge creature off. It was more in frustration with their failure then, than in any serious attept to experiment that Alice had prised the ugly bastard's mouth open and dropped a bottle of nitro down it's throat. The giant let of a tremendously loud belch of truly enormous proportions and thick grey, green smoke poured from it's mouth and nostrils but the expected explosion didnt occur. Cocking hell, he had just swallowed a whole vial of nitro bloody glycerine an all that had happened was a big fucking burp. These fuckers must have the constitution of a concrete elephant.

"Fuck beans. Right, plan B then. Grab the other side of this cauldron 'Mia."

Between brute force and magic the two slight witches managed to manouver the cauldron into a hole at the near end of the avenue of trees linking the two clearings. They covered the sealed top of the cauldron (and each other) in a few inches of dirt and camoflaged it with some grass and leaves before retreating back to their own clearing. They had just created a crude but effective landmine. Hermione turned to her mentally challenged, raven haired friend and voiced her confusion of how they were meant to proceed with their test from here.

"So how are we going to get him to step on it?"

She had a fair idea of how Alice was going to achieve this but hoped beyond hope that she was wrong on this occasion. Unfortunately the bushy haired girl was to have her suspicions confirmed in full. Hermione Granger watched in horror as Alice stood in front of the giant, sent a powerful bludgeoning hex right into the creature's ball sack and then released the chains.

"Come and get us you ugly great fucker."

She apparated them to the other side of their makeshift landmine and blew a completely un-necessary raspberry at him. The enraged giant shook his head in confusion and roared. He was unused to people deliberately trying to wind him up and the thought crossed his slow moving and less than bright mind that there must be a reason for their odd behaviour before he received yet another hex to the balls and his agressive nature took control. The ground shook with each step as he thundered towards the two small humans down the suspiciously clear avenue of trees.

The shockwave from the explosion threw the girls a good thirty yards. As they regained their senses and their feet Hermione surveyed the massive amounts of destruction that they had caused with growing horror and a little pride. She had seen the haunting pictures of the forests outside of Bastogne after the weeks of relentless shelling that they had suffered at the closing stages of the Second World War. This reminded her of a miniature version of that. The trees were either open blasted stumps or simply missing in a twenty yard circle from the epicentre of the blast and as for the giant, well, there was nothing larger than a matchbox left of the bits of him now decorating the forest. And them. Hermione absent mindedly pulled a pink piece of brain matter from her hair and muttered breathily in awe.

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw."

This was precisely why she liked Hermione so much, she always had such an interesting and fun turn of phrase for virtually every occaision. Alice cocked her head and gave the shocked looking, gore covered girl a huge, mental grin.

"That. Was. AWESOME! Let's do it again."

 **Haugesund Fjord, Norway. 30th October 1996.**

Getting this dark army to Britain had proved to be a bit of a logistical nightmare for the top lieutenants of the Dark Lord and they had spent a fortnight trying and failing to work out the best way to achieve these movements. They were only allowed the luxury of this amount of time because of their leader's absence to try and drum up even more support for the cause. On his return, however, it had taken less than an hour before Voldemort had lost his patience with them and taken the job over himself. After some judicious and stress relieving crucios being liberally thrown about that is.

The problem was the giants. They had managed to get one giant scout over the sea by using a team of twenty hit wizards and death eaters to apparate with him. Everything had gone swimmingly to begin with but just as the team was about to head back to report their success, one of them noticed that their passenger seemed slightly out of sorts. The disoriented and excessively grumpy giant had amply demonstrated this by grabbing the observant wizard by the ankles and using him to beat the others to death before wandering off towards Norwich. Which was where he was apprehended by Nymphadra Tonks' auror team and delivered to her mad Auntie Bella. When the rescue team returned from East Anglia with the bodies of the wizards and no giant, the apparition idea was scrapped forthwith.

Voldemort looked over their moronic, bumbling efforts at finding an alternative method of transportation for their inconveniently large army for a little while before looking out to sea. Bobbing along out on the horizon was a passing Nordline container ship. Shaking his head at the simplicity of the answer, the Dark Lord got a couple of his minions to throw five pieces of driftwood into the shallows. Pooling his magic he did a quick and dirty transfiguration to make five large wooden ships with magically powered propellors. They wouldn't last for long but then he didn't need them to. One trip would do. There now. How fucking difficult was that? Voldemort stomped off in search of some more idiots to crucio.

The last of the ships was almost finished loading and it was time for Lord Voldemort to make his grand entrance on to the stage. A mighty roar went up as he moved to the prow of his flagship and boomed out in his magically enhanced voice.

"Our time is near my proud soldiers. Set the mainsail and steer a course West. To our victory. To our England!"

 **Gryffindor Married Quarters, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 30th October 1996.**

Ginny Black was busy admiring herself from behind startling, bright, emerald green contact lenses in the full length mirror in their enormous bathroom. Her signature long, ginger locks were currently hidden beneath a shoulder length, messy, black wig and she was wearing nothing but a leather corset and boots and an imitation lightning bolt scar on her forehead. She had to admit that she did look damn good. Honestly, she had been a little hesitant when Alice had first suggested, well more than suggested really, engaging in a bit of bedtime role playing, but she had to admit that this was a great deal of fun. Especially on nights like this when she got to play the aggressor. Ginny grinned lasciviously at her own reflection and bent the supple leather riding crop between her small, but strong, hands testing its resistance. Then tugging on Padma's leash and indicating the girl to follow her, she emerged into the large bedroom swinging her hips with a positively dangerous swagger.

"You've been vey, _very_ naughty Dark Lady, Volde-Alice and I, Harriet Potter, the 'slut-who-lived' am here to punish you."

The riding crop slashed down in blur to crack loudly against Ginny's black, thigh high leather boot causing both Alice and Padma to shiver in anticipation.

"Eeeep!"

The raven haired head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black struggled half heartedly against the ropes that held her in place and made an extremely un-Alice like noise. Her beautiful young wife didn't take control like this very often but when she did, oh my, but didn't Alice just absolutely love it. In their earlier scenarios it had been Ginny who was the one restrained and disciplined by her spouse's rendition of the darkest of dark witches. The red head was nervous enough at first to have made a pretty decent submissive, even though it was not in her nature, but the more they played these games, the more confident she had gotten and they had needed to enlist Puppy to play the part. Not that the Indian girl minded in the least. Nothing made her happier than being restrained, dominated nd humiliated by her two gorgeous mistresses. The fact that she got to play dress up on top of that was just an extra sexy bonus. Tonight, however, mistress Red had promised that she would be given special permission to dole out a spanking to a rather important target.

Mistress Alice Black, the Black Queen herself, was going to allow her puppy to raise her unworthy hand, as well as whatever other fun toys she could find, to her most precious and perfect alabaster bottom. This had Padma Patil in quite the little tizzy. As much as she adored to be humiliated and dominated by her two magnificent mistresses, the girl was rather partial to giving out a stern and painful punishment on the few occasions when she was permitted to do so. All of which meant that the anticiption of this evening's activities and especially the soon to be recipient of her tender mercies, were making Padma very excited indeed. At this stage she could, quite literally, have wrung out the tiny scrap of lace material that passed for her panties. And finally, with a barked command from mistress Red, it was happening.

"Puppy Nev."

"Yes Mistress Potter."

Having fallen foul of them once already in the last couple of weeks, Padma knew the rules, as well as the extremely dire (but extremely fun) consequences of failing to follow them. When role playing one must always get the names correct. She began to shake with excitement as at Ginny's next command she reached for the riding crop being offered from her hands.

"My arm's getting tired Puppy Nev. Take the whip and contnue if you please."

Oh she pleased all right. Padma most definitely pleased.

As the Ladies Black and their human pet continued their fun and exhausting game long into the night, the real Lord Voldemort stared into the lightening sky, eyes straining to make out the fast approaching Norfolk coast. His time was here at last, he thought, the excitement building with every plunge of the bows beneath the white flecked, oncoming waves. The grim laughter of the snake faced man echoed among the small fleet of ships making their way to England filling the hearts of even his supporters with dread. They didn't know what he'd do to the enemy but the Dark Lord certainly scared the willies out of them.

 **Back to one update every two days. Woo and indeed Hoo**

 **A big thanks to the double genii of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince for Boom Shake the Room.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _The grim laughter of the snake faced man echoed among the small fleet of ships making their way to England filling the hearts of even his supporters with dread. They didn't know what he'd do to the enemy but the Dark Lord certainly scared the willies out of them._

 **CHAPTER 26.**

 **North Sea Coast Near Croma, Norfolk. 31st October 1996. 05.00 a.m.**

Finally they were here. The grinding, scraping sound of the ship grounding on the beach had barely started when Lord Voldemort leapt athletically from the prow to feel the heavy soil of his native country beneath his feet once more. His tall, slender form glided up the short slope and he spread his arms wide with a big grin on his snake like face before turning to call his forces ashore. And what forces they were. Twenty two large, ferocious, if not overly intelligent giants, forty eight Death Eaters and almost two hundred of the hardest and most vicious mercenaries he could find. The scum of Europe had gathered for the easy pickings that a complacent and under prepared wizarding Britain was said to be. They had been promised by the Dark Lord that this was definitely going to be the case as it was aways the way of things that wizards never learned from history. Voldemort's great liberation army was going to sweep aside the pitiful resistance of the Ministry and take out Dumbledore, the boy-who-lived and the great, deviant, libertine institution that was the House of Black.

After setting the giants and their handlers off to start their long journey to Scotland the rest of his army apparated to their various staging points around the country to await their respective orders. The three attacks would be co-ordinated to cause the maximum level of mayhem possible. They were going to seed fear and panic across wizarding Britain, making the job of taking out the power bases all the easier. Terror was Lord Voldemort's favourite weapon in his extensive arsenal and he was planning on using it very liberally today. He worked hard to keep the widening grin off of his featureless face but his good mood, encouraged by thought of murder, made it considerably more difficult than it should have been. In order to warm up a bit and to exercise his killing muscles before the main event, he Avada Kedavra'd an unsuspecting muggle who had been walking his dog and staring in disbelief at the oncoming army.

It was fitting that the day of his ultimate victory would come on the very day of his ignominious defeat fifteen years ago. He would do today what he had failed to do then. Today he would become immortal and unstoppable. Today he would kill Harry Potter and the world would be his.

From their position in the dilapidated windmill four miles up the coast auror team five, who were on watch duty this morning, registered the use of an unforgiveable on the funny looking instrument set up on the floor. Bob Chulish, the youngest and most inexperienced member of the team apparated under a disillusionment charm to a point a few hundred yards from the trace's point of origin an found himself knee deep in sheep shit. By the time he had extricated himself from the mass of ruminant excretion, with the aid of a good few curses, Auror Chulish finally did his duty and looked up to survey the area. The stunned and now very scared young man gave a small yelp of fear as he caught sight of the unloading ships and fell straight back into the fecund pit of sheep manure. Concentrating on his apparition more carefully than ever before in his life he disappeared with the softest of pops and reappeared an instant later a babbling, hyperventilating mess. When his team mates managed to calm him down enough the junior auror was able to stammer out.

"He's here. We're fucked."

 **Diagon Alley, London. 31st October 1996. 06.30 a.m**

There was much more activity in Diagon Alley than was usual at this time of the morning. Everywhere you looked up and down the shopping district there were shadowy figures beavering away in the grey half light in a flurry of lifting and nailing large, sturdy boards into place at their respective shop fronts. Apparently the news from the east coast was spreading like wild fire and peope were scared. Nymphadora Tonks-Black kept her hood up as she moved quickly through the open expanse of Miracle Square towards the offices of the Daily Prophet. She was on her way to try and persuade Penny to relocate to the safety of either the Black Manor or the Hogseade Clinic while the imminent threat of violence from the Dark Tosser and his multitude of morons persisted.

"He's coming, he's coming!"

A wailing hag ran excitedly out from the shadowed entrance to Knockturn Alley yelling her mantra and making the already nervous residents of the magical shopping district even more so. Taking a leaf out of Alice's book the metamophmagus stuck out a foot, tripping the unsuspecting old crone and pushing the off balance woman into a wall before delivering a knockout blow with her billy club.

"Whoopsie."

"Gred, did that paragon of law enforcement just assault an innocent old woman?"

"I believe she did indeed Forge, old boy. Shocking ain't it?"

"Wotcha Freddie, Georgie boy. I see the cat's out of the bag about Mouldy Shorts coming then."

"Oh is that what it is. We thought that they'd just got wind of our latest product line."

"Super stench sausage rolls."

"Do I want to know?"

They gave the pink haired auror and their cousin in law? their best identical shit eating grins. She had been around the mischievous ginger twins enough since their families had joined in the summer to know not to inquire too closely into anything that they were involved in.

"That's a no then."

"So other than beating up the wrinklies what are you doing here? Don't tell me you just came to rescue your favourite cousins in law from certain death."

"Like you sneaky ginger fuckers would need rescuing." Nym snorted in amusement. "No I'm here to get my girlfriend out. Stubborn cow will probably tell me go and fuck myself but if I don't try I'll be in the shit anyway."

"Ah the lovely Miss Clearwater, yes she does have quite the temper recently."

She walked slowly away from the Weasley twins, deep in thought. Nym didn't really want to dwell on how the incorrigible pranksters knew about the junior reporter's change from the sweet, mild mannered girl that she had fallen in love with to the fire breathing dragon that she was now. Penny's recent lack of patience with ... well anything really was a bit disconcerting. If Nym didn't know better she would have said that the girl was hormonal. You know like pregnant hormonal. She stopped in her tracks. Oh fuck no. The vague memory of a case of fire whisky, two drunk, horny witches and a very special strap on given to her mad Auntie Bellatix came bubbling up from the back of her mind. Along with the strange warning on the outside of the box to ensure that both partners were 'ready' before use. They had thought it was a lubrication issue but now another, far more worrying, meaning occured to her.

She set off once more with a determined look on her face. It suddenly became a great deal more important for Nym to get Penelope somewhere safe. There was no way she was going to let Mouldy Shorts or any of his death nibblers get anywhere near her girlfriend. Or their baby.

 **Minister's Office, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 07.45 a.m.**

Amelia Bones, Minister of Magic for wizarding Btitain and former head of the DMLE was giving the out of breath young man in front of her a very hard stare indeed. He had been unlucky enough to interrupt her before she had indulged in her morning double shot of espresso and was now close t wetting himself in fear. But however scary his ultimate boss looked this morning she would definitely not want him to wait on mere propriety to impart the grave piece of news that he carried.

"It's confirmed then."

"Yes Boss. Auror team five has been tracking them heading North through Lincolnshire."

"Right then. Call everyone in."

"Everyone Boss?"

"You heard her fuckwit. EVERYONE!"

The poor messenger jumped about a foot in the air and now actually did wet himself as he was rounded on by an insane looking violet eyed witch. This was what Bellatrix Black was born for. The former Azkaban inmate and current enforcer for the Minister of Magic whooped with glee as she bolted out of the office into the Auror ready room shouting at the top of her lungs for people to ...

"Wake up fuckos, it's time to earn to your pay."

Amelia shook her head with a wan smile. Bella had certainly livened the place up since she had come here. She had not succumbed to the insane, dark witch's rather kinky and disturbing, but never the less exciting, sexual advances yet, but if she helped them win the day today then Amelia was seriously considering rewarding Bellatrix with a good hard fuck for her efforts. She was more than familiar with the post battle response of being both hungry and horny and she wasn't too fussy about where she satisfied either of those urges. Bella would certainly deserve her attentions should she be as effective as she hoped against the Death Eaters and if she came bearing curry and rice then Amelia would be very much agreeable to some after action fun with the mental dark witch. She followed Bella into the ready room, gathering her thoughts to give the troops a rousing speech, having no doubt whatsoever that they would carry the day.

 **The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole. 31st October 1996. 09.30 a.m.**

Molly was confused. She was sure that her husband had left for work at his normal time this morning and yet here he was, as large as life, sitting at the kitchen table with a worried look on his face. Instinctively she glanced at the clock and her world collapsed. Every single hand on the extraordinary timepiece pointed to 'In danger' or 'Mortal Peril'. In response to this situation she forced herself to do the one thing guaranteed to relax her and put the kettle on to make some tea. In silence Arthur Weasley watched his wife bustling around the kichen unsure of how to bring up the subject of what was happening in Britain. Last time Voldemort had unleashed his campaign of terror upon the country Arthur had been a young father with a lot more spirit than he was left with now and had thought nothing of volunteering to fight. The death and horror had quickly sickened him and he had hoped that he would never have the need to fight again. A hope that had been dashed in the Minister's morning briefing. He had worked for the Ministry for all of his working life and he had no intention of standing back and allowing these thugs to destroy it.

Minister Bones had allowed all employees to leave after the meeting and had left the decision whether or not to return and defend their workplace up to the individuals involved. She had known Arthur for a long time though and he was tasked with another mission more suited to his talents. Arthur had returned home to persuade Molly to go to Black Manor to wait it out, his wife, however, was adamant about wanting to help.

"Amelia wants me to get to Hogsmeade and help out with the evacuation. Why don't you come with me love? It would be more useful than sitting around here or getting in the way at the Ministry. You'd have people to help, to cook for, to comfort. And you'd be closer to Ginny and Ron."

For once his fiesty and argumentative wife agreed to do exactly as he suggested, a small scale miracle in the Weasle household, leaving Arthur a bit confused but extremely grateful. It would be difficut enough facing Voldemort's dark forces without having to worry about Molly running around and getting herself hurt. Or worse. Silently thanking Amelia for her orders and advice, he held the red headed woman tightly to him, taking comfort in the embrace as much as she was while wondering if getting the twins to Hosmeade clinic would be this easy. Considering that his wayward sons were responsible for most of his recent hair loss, he thought probably not.

 **The Granger/Black Dental and Healthcare Clinic, Hogsmeade. 31st October 1996. 11.00 a.m**

The first thing that most people noticed about Andromeda Black was her temper which could be as impressive as her niece's given the correct incentive. Thankfully the outward expression of her temper wasn't as violent as Alice's but her clipped tones and frosty glare still left you in no doubt whatsoever about her feelings on the matter in question. It was this side of her that was being displayed to anyone who failed to move as quickly as she thought they ought to be.

"Ros'. Morgana's saggy tits woman get your arse in here now."

Madame Rosmerta's impressive breasts wobbled wonderfuly while she ran as fast as possible, or as fast as was safe for someone of her stature, across the street from the Three Broomsticks and towards the Black Clinic. Upon her entry she received an impromptu round of applause from the assorted Blacks and Weasleys in the reception area for her magnificent display of mammary gymnastics, though this was quickly brought to an end by an annoyed Molly. The recently arrived ginger tea making machine even managed to intimidate the pale, cold eyed and aloof couple of Narcissa and Selene. Well briefly anyway. It brought some much needed light relief to the crowd of scared refugees crammed into the clinic whose fear was not exactly helped by the muggle tooth doctor Emma Granger, prowling around, rubbing her hands and offering free check ups.

Andromeda was still stalking about the place glaring daggers at anyone dumb enough to get in her way or who dared to make yet another stupid comment about this morning's Daliy Prophet article on the 'invasion' as they were calling it. The Dark Lord was certainly not having it all his own way in the propaganda war this time around. In part this was due to the loyal supporters of the House of Black who had been embedded in both the media and political spheres over the last year or so. Whatever it was it had made today's operations around the country considerably easier. Whether it was love, trust, respect or fear that motivated them, the wizards of Britain all flocked to the banner of the Noble and Most Ancent House of Black for the offered protection of themselves and their families. As she checked the wards on the clinic for the fifth time today, Andromeda Black thought that both the wards and the protection of her family name were going to be severely tested in the next few hours.

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 11.30 a.m**

The great hall was packed to the rafters when Alice Black and her crew of tank girl terrors waltzed in, kilts swinging, in a loose formation of two mostly symetrical lines. The headmaster merely smiled at the spectacle that she created as it appeared to calm and soothe the terrified students more than any words that he could have found to use today. He looked out at the adoring faces of the younger children and at the mixture of fear and awe on the older students thinking that the hero worship of the Black Princess was making his job a lot easier. And he needed it to be easier today. Today it was time for the final showdown with Tom and Harry and he was going to have to keep a close watch on the pair to ensure that everything happened as it should. It was a shame for the boy who had just begun a sweet and tentative relationship with young Mister Longbottom, but it couldn't be helped. He would not be leaving any of Voldemort's horcruxes lying around. Includng Harry Potter. Albus, lost in his thoughts, jumped as Lady Black's melodic tones sounded next to him.

"Kreacher."

"Miss Alice called."

"Be a love, Batty Man and get the other elves and head over to the tank garage. We need to make sure that everything's fuelled up and fully loaded. 'Kay?" She held her loyal and cuddly old elf with a stern look. "Oh and Kreach'. You might want to do some recruiting in the kitchens here for your little House Elf infantry division that you've put together and think I don't know about."

He turned back to his beloved mistress with a guilty smirk and shuffled his feet about with his eyes downcast. Absolutely nobody, including the notoriously crotchety and sarcastic Walburgia, could make him feel quite as much like a naughty schoolboy as the mentally unstable, but very sweet, Lady Alice. He returned her mad cock-eyed grin with one of his own, gave a sloppy salute and popped off to carry out her orders.

Alice shook her head at the antics of her chief House elf before turning her attention back to the hall in general. There were a great many anxious faces in the crowd and not all of them were from the younger years. Not even most of them in fact as it seemed that pretty much all the students up to fourth year were confident in the ability of their mighty Black Princess to protect them. It was the older population, the ones who had lost parents, siblings and loved ones to the Dark Lord's vicious campaign of terror last time around who were dubious about their chances of survival. The raven haired lunatic decided that they needed a bit of a pep talk to snap them out of it and to bolster their spirits. It didn't even occur to her that her idea of a rousing eve of battle speech might be a touch more ... insane than was normally the case and she skipped her over to the stage and it's podium, determinedly happy.

Ginny noticed her wife's growing annoyance and to avoid any un-necessary bloodshed taking place before the actual battle commenced decided to help out by giving a piercing, ear splitting whistle that brought every eye in the hall to her. She indicated the black haired young woman tapping the podium impatiently with her wand, looking increasingly angry and held a finger to her lips. Silence fell instantly. A very nervous silence. Alice did have a certain _reputation_ after all.

"When Mouldy Shorts and his deaf nibblers come, and make no mistake they are coming, we will stand tall and we will stand together. Now having said that, I don't expect everyone to fight. Indeed if I find anyone below fifth year outside of their dorms tonight they are going to wish they had been killed by our enemies by the time I've finished with them. What I am saying is that nobody wil be forced to take sides. Those who wish to remain neutral will be allowed to do so without fear of punishment or reprisal. Although you will be required to look after my rabbits."

There were some squeals of delight from a few of the younger girls at this as they had been wanting to play with some of Alice's pet bunnies for a while now. It was a shame that it took a blood war and a castle siege for it to happen but hey ho, every cloud and all that. Alice gave them a smile and a wave. People who loved rabbits were more than alright by her.

"So now, for those of you who do wish to help defend the castle, you will be working with the deputy headmistress so if you would head on over to Professor MacGonnagal while the prefects get everyone else to their dorms. The rest of the professors if you would like to liase with Hermione and Susan, we'll work out a plan for kicking the Snake faced fucker's arse with our special, armoured hobnail boots."

As students and teachers started to move to their designated areas Alice seemed to suddenly remember something and called out to the hall.

"Oh and by the way. If anyone, and I do mean _anyone_ , tries to give my new friend Harry Potter over to the Dark Wanker they are going to become very intimitely acquainted with the business end of Fanny here." She waved her favourite fireaxe nonchalantly in the air. "Are we clear?"

Apart from the SHAGS club girls vocal response there were only a few muttered voices and some scared nods that answered her.

"Alice can't hear you." She sing songed. "Are. We. Clear."

The way her mad mis-matched eyes blazed and twitched added to the way that she coldly spat out those last three words left no one in any doubt as to whether or not she was expecting an answer. This time the response was shouted entusiastically and unanimously, nobody wanted to be on the psychotically dangerous young woman's bad side.

"Yes Lady Black!"

"Now that's what I like to hear. Okie dokie then. Let's go to work."

As eve of battle speehes went it was hardly St. Crispin's Day but it certainly effective enough as the staff and students of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry fairly leapt to their tasks. Lord Voldemort and his army might scare the crap out of them but a pissed off Alice Black scared them more.

 **A bit dull but it needed to be done. Next up is the battle chapter which will be much more fun. I hope to have it up by the weekend for you.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	27. Chapter 27

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _As eve of battle speehes went it was hardly St. Crispin's Day but it certainly effective enough as the staff and students of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry fairly leapt to their tasks. Lord Voldemort and his army might scare the crap out of them but a pissed off Alice Black scared them more._

 **CHAPTER 27.**

 **Western Lawn, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 2.30 p.m**

The group of twenty eight scarlet coated girls walked quickly across the lush, verdant grass headed towards the building that had been recently deisignated as the Tank garage. The chattering witches didn't seem to be in any sort of formation, much to Susan's distress, and to all appearances were simply out for a lively afternoon stroll. Many curious eyes watched them not only from the two House towers of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor but also from the deepening shadow of the trees. Alice was smirking at Hermione who had been persuaded by Luna to join the little blonde lunatic in skipping along while swinging their joined hands. Her bushy haired lieutenant really was adorable when Luna talked her into doing sweet, couple-y type stuff like this. Not that she needed much convincing with the reward system that her girlfriend reportedly had in place. Frankly she was surprised that either girl could walk without a limp after the obscene racket they had been making in the second floor girls toilet during lunch. Padma sidled up to her, pulled Alice's head down and murmered into her ear.

"Mistress. Over there in the edge of the forest, I saw some figures moving about. I think they're follwing us."

Alice didn't slow her pace or appear to turn and look in the indicated direction but still used her peripheral vision to make out the cloaked men moving parallel to them in the sparse cover. She counted maybe a dozen of them. Alice contemplated taking them out before they could report back what she and her little crew were up to. If she drew them in to the garage then they would be able to have a nice warm up, using their tanks in anger for the first time before the main event. She didn't want to use their main guns and risk alerting Mouldy Shorts to the fact that they posessed artillery but there was nothing to stop her taking them out with their wands or even crushing the nosy fuckers underneath their caterpillar tracks. Of course they had to get them there first. A game of chase was in order. Fantastic. She loved to play chase. Especially if she got to murder someone horribly when she finally caught them. Plan in place, Alice snickered and stroked Padma's silky hair affectionately while fishing in her pocket for a treat.

"Good catch Puppy, have a cookie."

Padma Patil beamed in pride and accepted both her sweet, tasty reward and her mistress' loving caress happily. There was nothing more satisfying to the Indian witch than assisting her beautiful, raven haired lover. Something at which she was now going to have another chance as Alice sent most of the girls on to the garage and taking only Padma, Milly and Angelina peeled off, heading to the tree-line. She did a bit of a double take when Alice pulled her fire-axe seemingly out of nowhere. Padma had explored every single, sexy, gorgeous inch of her mistress, both clothed and naked and she still had absoutely no fucking clue where she kept that damned weapon hidden. It was one of life's little mysteries that would probably never be solved, she thought as she took off running after the other girls yelling curses and herding their targets towards the ominous rumbling sounds of the tanks starting up.

 **Diagon Alley, London. 31st October 1996. 2.30 p.m**

The eerie stillness of the alley was starting to get to Thorfinn Rowle. He led his team of twenty mercencaries past the boarded up shops and through Miracle Square to stand in front of the newspaper building. They hadn't passed a single person in the entire trip. Where the fuck was everybody. It was a bit difficult to cause murder and mayhem if there was noboby around to rape or kill. Not that the Dark Lord would accept that as an excuse. It didn't matter how much damage and destruction of property he did here today that snake faced bastard was going to crucio the shit out of him for his percieved failure, what ever he did. Deciding he may as well have what fun he could before his inevitable torture session Thorfinn levelled his wand at the Daily Prophet offices and prepared to cast a powerful bombarda hex.

"Are you sure you are vanting to be doing zat Herr Rowle."

He barely registered the accented question as he was busy diving out of the way of his reboundng spell which bounced harmlessly of the warded building and smashed into the fountain behind him. Struggling to his feet the Death Eater in charge of putting the magical shopping district to the torch shook his head to clear his ringing ears and wiped his hands on his robes. They came away wet and slick and rather red. Thorfinn looked around him at the blackened channel that marked the passage of the deflected curse and noticed half a torso and a small assortment twisted limbs laying around. Fuck. Now he was going to be in real trouble. Not being able to terrorize people because they weren't there was one thing but killing your own side though being too lazy to check for active wards was quite another.

"Right come on then. There's fuck all to do here, let's get to the Ministry and help out the others."

His only chance for survival now was to take the remaining mercenaries to the heat of battle and hope his heroism could outweigh any mistakes that he had made. Or that they all got killed by the aurors so that none of them couldn't report his incompetence back to the Dark Lord. Either scenario would be a win for him. Hopefully.

 **The Atrium, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 2.30 p.m.**

Red robed aurors filled the entrances that led into the Ministry proper and faced the fountain in the centre of the atrium. A few spotters were placed in front of the fountain so that they could warn everyone else if (when that is) Voldemort's troops made their entrance.

Meanwhile down in the Department of Mysteries the Minister of Magic was waiting in her war room sanctuary. Close by her were those advisors that she trusted the most. Rufus Scrimgeour, Kinsley Shacklebolt, Alastor Moody and Nymphadora Tonks-Black were all there, as was the infamous, dark and dangerous Bellatrix Black, who looked positively giddy at the thought of the mayhem to come. This was their last redoubt. The place where those who survived would make their final stand. She had chosen it because of the close proximity of the death room, thinking that if they were to fall she was going to take as many of those bastards with her as possible. Amelia took in the anxious faces of her friends and colleagues while she waited for the signal.

"Everybody ready?"

The device in her pocket vibrated and she held it up to ear for a moment.

"Here we go."

First through the entrance gateways were the hard eyed mercencaries from across European continent casting as they came and in enough numbers to force the fountain contingent to retreat behind their combined protego shield. Splitting into their two teams the aurors continued to back up through the arches and into the narrow corridors leading away from the atrium. The plan had been worked on by Amelia and Bellatrix to maximise their advantage of fighting on home turf and to make the invaders work for every inch of forward movement that they took. Like the heroic muggle three hundred Spartans at Thermopylae before them, the Ministry defenders layered their sheilds to present an almost impenetrable wall across the narrow hallway as they backed up towards the Department of Mysteries.

 **The Granger/Black Dental and Healthcare Clinic, Hogsmeade. 31st October 1996. 2.30 p.m**

Inside the heavilly warded clinic the noise was absolutely deafening. The vanguard of Voldemort's army were battering the building with reckless hate from their frustration at having been unable to find any live targets anywhere else in the magical village. At first it was just a few Death Eater led mercenaries throwing hexes around but after they had moved off to begin their spying mission their place had been taken by some rather more enthusiastic members of the army.

Eventually the Dark Lord had pulled his disappointed troops away from the seemingly impregnable and fortress like clinic so that his attack on Hogwarts could commence on schedule. Leaving a small rearguard of committed dark wizards to continue the assault, he gathered the bulk of his army and headed the off up the path to the school. As their Lord moved away and out of sight the remaining attackers set to with a will, gleefully casting dark blasting curses deisigned to bring down castle walls. Unfortunately for them they were so engrossed in their task that they entirely failed to notice the two pale, black clad figures that apparated quietly behind them and levelled a pair of powerful handguns. Firing into the midst of the tightly packed wizards Cissy and Selene managed to empty their weapons, reload and begin shooting again before the first hex shot back at them.

Narcissa Black span with the momentum as the cutting curse hit her in the shoulder, finishing her turn and dropping to one knee she fired two rounds straight into the face of the man who had cast it. Eight wizards now lay dead and the rest all had some kind of injury and all they had managed to do in return was slightly wing one of these dangerous witches. It was more than enough for those left alive. For the ones who had faced muggle firearms before they knew how much trouble they were in, and for those who hadn't, well they were shocked and dismayed at the speed and efficiency with which they were being slaughtered. If there were more of these damned muggle armed Hellions up at Hogwarts the Dark Lord could very well lose this war and they didnt want to be in Britain if he did. They ran.

"We could just let it bleed out and then you can turn me."

"Cissy sweetheart, we've talked about this. Not unless you get really hurt."

"There's nobody left to fight though."

Not here anyway. Up at the castle, however, would be an entirely different matter. There were giants, Death Eaters and Voldemort himself availlable. Narcissa was sure that, between that lot, she could manage to get herself injured enough to inspire a turning from her lover. Grabbing the vampire's hand the blonde haired Black started to cheerfuly run up to school gates dragging the confused Selene along behind her.

 **Edge of the Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 3.30 p.m**

Looking out across the Southern Lawn at the main entrance of the school Voldemort permitted himself to smile. His grand, dark, liberation army dwarfed the nervous looking handfull of school teachers and upper year students huddled together on the steps of the main entrance to Hogwarts. The giants were growling and snorting and the two dozen or so acromantulas that he had rounded up and tamed were straining to be let off the leash to tear into his pitiful opponents. The smile widened to a sickening grin and he decided to offer them a deal.

"Give me Harry Potter and most of you will survive this day. I have no desire to spill pure, magical blood for no reason. I will allow you go on with your lives unrestricted, or I should say _mostly_ unrestricted, and all you have to do is to turn over Dumbledore and the boy-who-failed-to-die."

His thin, reedy, but still creepy, voice carried power and authority in it. As well as menace.

"You have thirty minutes do give them to me. After that I will reduce this castle to a pile of rubble and kill everyone here today."

The pallor on the faces of the school's defenders betrayed their fear and Voldemort was feeling good. He would have felt a little better if he could see where that fucking mental, lezzy, bitch Black and her sluts were, but it was of no consequence. Not even she could make a difference against this magnificent and powerful army of experienced dark wizards and dimwitted, but strong and effective, rabid dark creatures. This was his day, his moment and he would savour every second of it.

 **Department of Mysteries, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 3.45 p.m.**

They were being overwhelmed. Where the hell had Voldemort got all these fucking people from. Amelia Bones had known that he had been recruiting, but he must have emptied every pure blooded wizard in the country's vaults to pay for the numbers that were here in his employ. He was sure to have a similar number, if not more, attacking Hogwarts and she wondered how in Merlin's name he had managed to pay them all. He must be offering them something else. Like a percentage of the spoils. Or slaves. Fucking slavers. Okay now she was pissed.

A dark purple curse whizzed past Amelia's shoulder and smacked wetly into the wall behind her. Holy shit. What the buggery fuck was _that_. These bastards really weren't messing around. She had seen enough war zones to know what type of men she was up against. Mercenaries. Cold blooded killers. And they seemed to make up about ninety five percent of the attacking force. Sure there was the occasional silver flash of a Death Eater mask but they seemed to be mostly staying back and directing the attack, using these hardened killers to carry out the difficult and dangerous work. Cowardly bastards.

She shot a powerful piercing hex through the crowd as she spotted another flash of a silver mask and was rewarded by a stifled and satisfying scream when he fell. Amelia's joy was short lived as her hex was returned ten fold and Kingsley Shacklebolt dropped to his knees. Things were not going well. Then very suddenly, they got considerably better.

"Wotcha fuckers. Who wants to die?"

Nymphadora Tonks-Black and Bellatrix burst through the door into the very centre of the black robed men, unleashing curses and stabbing with their daggers, a pair of whirling dervishes, sowing fear and confusion and death in their wake. The screaming, cackling Black witches thinned the crowd by at least ten before retreating to stand with their boss. Amelia smiled thinly and nodded to the pair.

"Bellatrix. Nymphadora. Nice of you to join us."

"Meh. This seemed more fun than knitting onesies for Nym's baby."

"Aunte Bella! I _knew_ it was you. Fucking cow."

 **The Main Entrance, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 4.00 p.m**

Minerva watched with patriotc pride in her heart and a tear in her eye as a lone piper appeared at the crest of the slope separating the Southern and Western lawns. As the strains of Scotland the Brave rose more of the small, bat eared, kilted figures joined him, some with banners, some with more instruments and the massed (twelve) pipes and drums of the Black elven infantry division swung into full cry. She was quite surprised when a deep, rumbling accompaniment to the music seemed to cause the ground to start shaking. The flags featuring the rampant lion of Scotland, the union jack of Britain and the Black crest of three ravens on a skull, bounced and fluttered with the vibrations as more elves waving an assortment of daggers and clubs flooded on to the field. The only thing that stopped this looking like an old highland clan army were the half a dozen hulking muggle war machines that followed them over the rise and menaced everyone present with their awesome presence.

The Blank Tank Corps had arrived.

The metallic leviathans unleashed a sudden and epic volley of noise and fire at the giants lumbering their way towards the defenders huddled in the entrance. Six high explosive rounds thumped into six of the gigantic figures landing more or less accurately in the upper parts of their chests, that being the larget target and where Grampa David Granger had always taught them to aim. Of course Luna had to do things a little dfferently. While everyone else left smallish but ragged and ultimately fatal holes in their target's chest cavities she pulled off an inredible shot that made the giant's head explode spectacularly. The excitable blonde popped out of the turret of the Matilda and performed a strange and very offensive victory dance before disappearing once again to reload. The remaining giants seemed to take this rather poorly as they howled their displeasure, turned and charged across the suspiciously lumpy lawn at the tanks.

The noise from the first volley of the Black tanks was dwarfed by the deafening roar that occured when the eighteen huge, pissed off creatures hit Alice's recently planted, nitroglycerine packed minefield. As the shockwave hit, attackers and defenders alike were seeking shelter from the gory results of the immense explosion. Alice on the other hand was standing up in the turret of her panzer, arms spread to the heavens, giggling and laughing and revelling in the red rain.

"Boom motherfuckers!"

The eclectic and extremely odd war cry echoed loudly across the otherwise silent, blood soaked lawn and the deputy headmistress had to supress her bubbling laughter that was inspired by the cackling, black haired lunatic. Realising that her fellow staff and students helping her defend the castle would probably react badly to her giggling at the massive and wholesale destruction that Lady Black had just caused, she surrupticiously put her fist into her mouth. She took it out again pretty quickly when the metallic, coppery taste of blood hit her tongue, spitting and making a disgusted face.

"Not your cup of tea, Minerva?"

She turned to her left to see the cooly smiling figure of Narcissa Black. What was slightly disconcerting, however, was that there was a leather clad young woman hanging off of her who seemed to be using her tongue to clean up the spattered blood from the regal blonde's face and neck.

"I'm certainly not as keen on it as your ... er ... _companion_ seems to be."

"Really Minerva. My insane niece blows up half the school grounds and makes it rain giant innards but your only problem is with my vampire girlfriend."

She was saved from any further awkward conversation with her least favourite member of the House of Black and her disturbing lover by, of all people, Pansy Parkinson. She had never been quite so glad to see the annoying, flat faced Slytherin girl as she was just now. Even with the news that she was currently imparting in an unusually timid voice.

"Ummm. Professor MacGonnagal, they seem to be re-grouping."

Student and teacher watched as the two women next to them shared a passionate, if slippery, kiss and each drew a shiny black muggle pistol from their respective thigh holsters. With a 'click clack' sound they readied their weapons grinning at each other. Narcissa and Selene joined their unhindered hands, shared a sweeter, more chaste kiss than before and moved off towards the advancing Death Eaters.

"Come on baby, lets show them what we can do."

Minerva and Pansy shared a rare moment when they looked at each other, smirked and mimed putting their fingers down their throats while they made gagging noises. Pulling themselves together they turned their thoughts to the more serious business of defending the school. Although it seemed to be a bit pointless as Lady Alice Black and her howling horde of house elves were now advancing at a rapid pace.

 **The Southern Lawn, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 4.45 p.m**

What had once been beautifully manicured lawns were now a churned up, muddy mess, littered with both the bodies of his followers and also a multitude of torn up giant body parts. Voldemort stared in utter disbelief at the devastation before him. His grand attack plan was in tatters. The Black bitch may be a total fucking lunatic but he had to admit that she had turned out to be a tactical genius who had adapted her plans to incorporate the use of muggle technology to absolute decimate his glorious army. His ears were still ringing from the massive blasts that had taken out the giants that had remained after Black's metal monsters had spat their exploding shells into their midst. He also made a mental note to never back an acromantula to win against a motivated house elf armed with an over-sized croquet mallet.

It was time to enter the fray himself.

The over-confident, self styled Dark Lord Voldemort walked purposefully forward with his honour guard of his best Death Eaters surrounding him intending to bolster his rapidly disintegrating forces. That mental bitch Black and her little band of sluts didn't stand a chance against his most awesome power and skill. Yeah, this was not going to end well for Mouldy Shorts.

 **Department of Mysteries, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 5.00 p.m.**

She vaguely recognised the bloody and battered figure begging her for his miserable life as something Rowle maybe? Amelia had told her to save a few of them for interrogation but Bellatrix was all worked up and not really in the mood to be merciful. The man, Thorfinn, that was it, Thorfinn, had been a colleague and even a friend of sorts in their Death Eater days. He whimpered and started trying to beg for his life. She _could_ spare him she supposed. Nah. Fuck him.

"Avada Kedavra."

Ahhhh. She'd almost forgotten how much fun that was.

"For fuck's sake Bella, what did I tell you about taking prisoners."

"Ummmm ... was it something about only if I really wanted to?"

Amelia Bones just shook her head in answer and tried to hide her grin. Honestly that woman was impossible. Incredibly skilled in the art of battle and as sexy as fuck, no doubt. But utterly impossible. She was going to have to show the hot, mental witch exactly who was the boss when they were done here.

"There's another wave on the way Boss."

Fuck this shit, she thought as she looked around at her depleted and mostly injured force of aurors. Kingsley was covered in blood and could barely stand and the others, incuding herself, weren't exactly doing much better. Tonks and Bellatrix were the only ones who appeared to be relatively untouched. Amelia made an important decision.

"Bella."

"Hmmmm?"

"Kill them all."

The Black haired psychopath's eyes lit instantly up and she let out a delighted, if highly disturbing, cackle that made everyone able to hear it a feel a definite cold trickle of fear run down their spines. This included the advancing dark wizards who were about to find out just why this woman had such a terrifying reputation when it came to duelling.

 **The Main Entrance, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 5.15 p.m**

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore stood shoulder to shoulder with Minerva MacGonnagal and Harry Potter as the three of them engaged his former student Tom in an epic duel. It was truly the stuff that legends were made of. The forces of the light battling with the most dangerous Dark Lord in three centuries. Shields rose and fell, curses and hexes lit up the sky as they flew and all stood in awe to watch them. Well nearly all. With his peripheral vision he saw Alice Black leap down from the turret of her tank, accept a hand held grenade laucher from her chief house elf and start towards them with serious purpose. She swatted a mercenary hit wizard with the stock of her weapon, caving his skull in and put it to her shoulder.

Albus stumbled into Harry and 'acccidently' pushed him in front of Tom's wand. He wasn't proud of this act, indeed he felt deep sorrow for it's necessity, but the boy needed to be sacrificied before Alice took out Tom. Fortunately for Harry, Alice chose this moment to fire and the Dark Lord had to concentrate on erecting a hasty but powerful all over body shield in order to deflect whatever fresh muggle trickery she was trying to kill him with. What he realised, to his horror, as he watched the funny tennis ball sized projectile come towrds him was that in his haste to put up the shield, he had forgotten about Nagini. The grenade impacted on his shield and he was momentarilly blinded by a flash of fire and noise. And tiny bits of snake.

Voldemort shook his head to clear the ringing in his ears as he pushed himself upright. Seeing both Dumbledore and Potter flat out on their backs, he crowed with joy and gripped tightly to his wand as he pointed it at the boy-who-lived. He really ought to send Lady Black a fruit basket for inadvertantly helping him kill the little brat, he thought. And then there was nothing put pain. Excruciating pain. He looked from the red fire-axe that was now buried deep in his groin up into the insane mis-matched eyes of Alice Black.

"Hewo Wabbit."

As the axe dislodged from his knackers the great Dark Lord Voldemort's wand fell from his limp fingers and he dropped heavilly to his knees. Alice spun on the spot a couple of times and on her final pirrouetting turn accelerated the axe through the air and straight through his pale, wrinkly neck. She stood grinning wth her head cocked and allowed the Dark Wanker's life blood to pump from his, now severely shortened, body all over her face and hair. Moving to where his head had landed she bent down, sticking her fingers in the eye sockets and she brought the lifeless skull up for a close inspection.

"Now _that_ , Mouldy my old love, is how one gets ahead. Get it? A _head_."

The giggling loon skipped off to her beloved Mark Four Panzer and hopped up on to the turret once more. Raising her axe in one hand and the severed head of her enemy in the other, she let out a screaming, banshee howl of victory. It was answered with a roaring, rousing cheer from her kilted comrades and their blood thirsty elves.

Voldemort was dead.

 **The Death Room, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 5.30 p.m.**

Bellatrix crouched in front of Amycus Carrow watching in fascination as he writhed in agony on the floor of the Atrium, blood pouring from the ragged stump that was his left arm. It had been surprising and more than a little annoying when the man's dark mark had suddenly exploded dropping the screaming Death Eater to the floor instantly. She had been rather enjoying the duel as he was certainly more skilled than most of the idiots that she had faced today and Bella was just winding up to really start trying. She poked the dying man with her wand while reminding herelf to thank her daughter for so skillfully de-activating her own snake and skull tattoo. The fact that it had gone off like that could only mean one thing. Voldemort was dead.

She bodilly dragged the twitching and nearly dead moron across the floor, leaving a trail of blood on the flag stones, and heaved him to his knees before delivering a swift and vicious kick to his chest. The male Carrow twin flew backwards through the arch housing the veil of death and joined his sister in whatever hell dimension they were both destined for. Bella was under no illusions that she wouldn't be joining them there one day. Oh well. C'est la vie. Grinning, she skipped off to find some stragglers to murder horribly.

 **The Main Entrance, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 5.35 p.m**

She stood in front of the turret of her Mark four Panzer, holding her gruesome prize loosely in her left hand and surveyed the battlefield with a critical eye. Other than Aunt Cissy, who had rather strangely seemed to be trying her damndest to get herself seriously injured, there had been no real casualties on the side of the so called light. Mouldy Shorts' army hadn't fared quite so well. The giants had been taken out fast and dirty by her tanks and nitro cauldrons. Those Death Eaters who hadn't fallen to Alice's assault were either now writhing on the floor in their death throes or already dead from their dark marks exploding and the only people left alive now were a fraction of the mercenary force.

"I think we ought to call a cease-fire Alice. There really isn't any need to continue this."

Albus Dumbledore shouted to try and make himself heard over the cheers of the defenders and also those of the younger students who had sneaked out of their dorms and were now hanging out of the castle windows to watch the battle. Alice was about to answer the man and was seriously considering offering, an extremely out of character for her, act of mercy to the thirty or so attackers that were still standing (she really was). Until, that is, she heard the opening strains of a particular Queen song. Looking up to the cheering group of third years who were holding up a super amplified, enchanted radio she gave her best, most mental grin and lazilly whirled her fire-axe around in a couple of circles.

 _"Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time,_

 _I come ali - i - i - ive,_

 _And the world, I'll turn it inside out, and float it around in ecstasy ... so ..."_

Hermione rolled her eyes as every single muggle born witch and wizard took up the song. Honestly it wasn't like Alice needed any more encouragement to get her violence on. Inexplicably, however, she found herself singing along too.

 _"Don't stop me now,_

 _Don't stop me, cause I'm having a good time,_

 _Having a good time, I don't want to stop at all"_

Alice and Kreacher whooped with glee as they charged off after the now running Death Eaters and mercenaries with more than a hundred heavilly armed, blood thirsty, house elves close behind them. It was a massacre. The sight of half a dozen elves climbing over a retreating wizard and all trying to outdo each other with the messiest possible death blow was one that would be commemorated in Hogwarts history for centuries to come. And in the middle of all of the chaos was the blood soaked figure of the Black Princess, howling in her pleasure and swinging that axe in great, sweeping, deadly arcs with the severed head of Lord Voldemort hanging from her belt.

They were all so caught up in the savage spectacle of Alice's merciless retribution that nobody noticed the Headmaster whispering to the boy-who-lived and leading him off up into the castle. Only Neville saw. And he was now very worried. He needed to find Lady Alice. Like right fucking now.

 **Now that was fun. One more chapter and an epilogue and we'll be done.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	28. Chapter 28

**Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.**

 **I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 _They were all so caught up in the savage spectacle of Alice's merciless retribution that nobody noticed the Headmaster whispering to the boy-who-lived and leading him off up into the castle. Only Neville saw. And he was now very worried. He needed to find Lady Alice. Like right fucking now._

 **CHAPTER 28.**

 **Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 6.45 p.m**

The gargoyle that guarded the stairs to the headmaster's office at Hogwarts had never before experienced pain, but with appearance of a pissed off Alice Black in front of him, he decided that he was going to get out of the way a bit bloody quick just in case. All of the sentient beings in the castle were wary of the Assistant Potions Mistress and they had very good reason to be. After the events of today her reputation for extreme violence hadn't exacty decreased and the thunderous expression on her face brooked no arguments. So he moved aside without a sound and tried to make himself as small and inconspicuous as possible as she stomped past him up the stairs. He also decided not to test her patience or her temper by informing the headmaster of her presence.

A distraught Neville Longbottom had caught up to her while she was taking a breather, sat against a tree and having a disturbing threeway conversation with Kreacher and Mouldy Shorts' severed head. He had seen Dumbledore's 'accidental' slip that had put Harry in the way of a killing curse and when the old man had spirited the boy-who-lived away he had got worried. So he had sought out and found the Black Princess, asked her very nicely to save his not boyfriend from crazy grandpa whiskers and she had agreed with surprising speed and a strange smile. Had he known how this would turn out he might have not bothered. Alice crashed into the head's office with all of her customary tact and grace.

"Albers, you know that I adore you, you white whiskered old weirdo, but I've also become rather attached to ickle Harry over there and if you don't let him go then I'm going to have to spank you."

"You don't understand Alice. I don't want to do this, I really don't, but I don't have a choice. Harry's the final horcrux. If I don't do this then Tom will be back again, stronger than ever and who knows, next time you might not be here to stop him."

Alice looked at him and sighed wearily.

"I knew I should have told you earlier."

She proceeded to inform the dozy old fool about the stupidity of trying to cheat death in general and the ineffectiveness of horcruxes in particular as a way to achieve this. Alice did genuinely like the silly old cocksucker and really didn't want to have to kill him. Not that she wouldn't do it if necessary, but she would probably be terribly sad about it. For a good twenty minutes maybe. It seemed that despite her best efforts and intentions, however, Dumbledore was determined to make her kick his arse.

'I'm sorry Alice, but I just can't afford to take that chance."

"How about a deal, headmaster?"

"What kind of deal?"

"If I beat you in a duel, here and now, Harry gets to live and you retire from your positions at Hogwarts and from the Wizangamot and I'll make sure that your'e made magical ambassador to the United States of America."

Now that was a very intriguing offer indeed, Albus thought. Even if he lost the duel he would still gain something that he had long wished for. Not that he would lose. The elder wand that he carried virtually assured him of victory.

"And if I win?"

Alice gave him her best crocodile smile. Got him.

"If you win then I'll kill him for you. Right here, right now."

"Oi!"

"Hush Harry dear, the grown ups are talking."

Albus gave her a small, thin smile and drew his wand. He knew that she was good but when it came to duelling, even at his advanced age, he truly was without equal.

"Very well Lady Black, I accept. Shall we?"

He didn't even pause but just started in on her, casting a chain of curses straight at Alice's head and took a moment to register surprise that she hadn't even drawn her wand. That couldn't be good. It wasn't. She turned her body sideways to avoid the spell fire, stepped right up into the elderly man's personal space, grabbed his fragile wand hand with a hard and painful grip and twisted. Alice then ended the shortest duel in Albus Dumbledore's illustruious career by headbutting him square in the face, breaking the headmaster's nose and causing him to release the death stick. She oohed and aahed as she walked away happily twirling the elder wand in her fingers.

The portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black nearly fell out of his frame as he bent over in hysterics at the sight of Albus almighty Dumbledore sat muttering darkly in his chair while trying to stem the flow of blood from his ruined nose. That was _birlliant_. The old fool had been taken out by a Glasgow kiss. And from a Black no less. He couldn't be happier. He grinned at the latest Head of his family and gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up. Alice grinned back at him and patted the headmaster tenderly and a bit condescendingly on the shoulder.

"I shall expect your resignations on December twenty first Alby."

There was good reason for her delay. December the twenty first was the day of her Seventeenth birthday and her ascension to the Wizangamot. It was the day that she planned to take the Chief Warlock's position for herself. But until then she was going to have some fun. Which brought her flittering, goldfish like attention to Harry Potter. Smiling brightly she walked over to the short, green eyed, pretty young man in the corner, put her arm around him and began to lead him out of the office and down the stairs.

"So Harry, how would you feel about helping me out with a little potions experiment?"

The boy-who-lived blinked in confusion, not really able to process that the young woman who had just saved him from certain death and to who he now owed a life debt, had asked or nothing more than some help with a new potion. He was positive it wouldn't be quite that simple but considering that she now basically owned him, decided that it could have been a lot worse. He glanced at Alice nervously and shrugged into her one armed and strangely comforting embrace.

"Sure, why not. Sounds like fun."

"Eeeep!"

Harry flinched at the excited squeak that she let out into his ear. Okay so now he was properly fucking nervous. Lady Alice Black did _not_ squeal like a giddy school girl. As he gazed up into her insane, grinning face, he wondered if it wouldn't have been safer and less painful to just let the old bearded wonder hit him with a killing curse. Or two.

 **Minister's Office, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 7.45 p.m.**

Now that the healers had patched up and cleared her, Amelia Bones sat back in her large, comfortable chair and let out a long, shaky breath. The dead were being tagged and transported to their internal Ministry morgue, the wounded were being tended to and the prisoners processed. Not that they had many of those thanks to the two Black women. Nymphadora and Bellatrix had pretty much cleaned house where the mercenaries were concerned and the Death Eaters were either dead from shock or blood loss after their dark marks had exploded. She was hungry and horny and wound so tightly that when the door banged open Amelias' hand immediately leapt to her wand and she barely managed do restrain herself from hexing the intruder.

"For fucks sake Bella, are you tryng to give me a heart attack."

The raven haired woman in the red auror coak merely smiled broadly at her. Hang on a minute. What was the nutter doing in an auror's cloak? Amelia knew damned well that Bella hadn't damaged her clothes that badly, maybe a couple of tears but nothing that would necessitate her having to change. She was just winding up to start questioning the pretty little psycho when she spoke up.

"I come bearing gifts."

Bellatrix Black sashayed into her office and let her cloak fall from her shoulders. Holy fuck. She was wearing (nearly wearing) nothing but sheer black stockings and a few tiny scraps of lace that really didn't cover much of her incredibly impressive body. In her left hand was wonderfully aromatic chicken Kashmiri curry and in her right was a large and obviously charmed strap-on. How had Bella known? Did Amelia really want this? Her lust quickly vanished all conscious thought and her only response to the internal questions that she asked herself was. Oh mother may I. Not helpful Bones, not helpful at all. Come on get it together woman. She couldn't.

"What ... how ...what?"

"Leglimancer love. I've known for days."

Amelia's mouth worked but no sounds issued out. Finally she found her voice and growled out.

"Come here you mental fucking bitch."

 **The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 9.30 p.m.**

There were only a few people left in the hall now. Between them, the deputy headmistress and the Ministry representative, who had earlier been assigned to help out at the school, had offered all students a week off to visit their families and to assure them that they were all okay. It had taken almost two hours to ship off all of those who wished to go, which was most of them, unsurprisingly (any excuse to skip school was always cheerfully taken she knew) and the exhausted woman was now in search of refreshment and relaxation. Oh look, Miss Granger had a tea set going.

Ahhhh. Tea. Hermione sipped her cup of, what she considered to be, the nectar of the Gods and closed her eyes in satisfaction. After the mental and physical rigours of the day this was just what the doctor ordered. Letting the fragrant and slightly bitter taste of her Earl Gray swill around her mouth the 'brightest witch of her age' was finally able to let go off her stress. Seeing people, even bad people, get killed was something that she didn't think that she would ever get used to, but since her newest best friend was a homicidal psychopath she supposed that she was going to have to. Not that Alice couldn't be sweet and fun, but she could also, on occasion, be total blood thirsty loon.

"Mind if I join you Miss Granger?"

"Not at all professor MacGonnagal. Tea?"

"Ah you're an angel."

"Oui, c''est vrai."

Hermione's face went very red at this point as the French Ancient Runes professor, who was her ex girlfriend, floated over with Luna Lovegood, her current girlfriend, on her arm. The bushy haired Gryffindor dreaded to think what the two had been whispering about. Whatever it was was bound to be highly embarrassing for her. Luna was currently giggling but also her reddish tinged eyes looked as if she had been crying recently.

"Look mon petite moon, we 'ave found your love. You see you did not need to worry so much."

"Mia!"

The irrepressible blonde bundle of energy bounced away from Fleur and into her lap and proceeded to alternate between snogging her face off and chattering excitedly about how much fun she had had today. Since Hermione was now otherwise occupied Minerva took over the tea making duties and soon the two professors and two students were sipping their beverages in companionable silence.

"So where are the Black ladies? I expected them to be here revelling in their great victory."

"Ginny and Padma have gone to the manor with some of the girls to organise the victory party, but I'm not quite sure where Alice has disappeared to."

"Oh I saw her dragging Monsieur 'arry Potter off down to the dungeons."

"Do you think ... "

"I don't want to know." Minerva was determined to stop this particular conversation dead in it's tracks.

"But they could be ... "

"I. Don't. Want. To . Know."

She really didn't. Whatever nefarious deeds her most insane and dangerous student was getting up to with Mister Potter it was bound to result in something atrociously unpalatable. As if summoned by the thought Lady Black, tank girl, slayer of Voldemort and all around lunatic chose this particular moment to make her entrance. Minerva also noticed that she was being closely trailed by a strange, yet familiar, small brunette girl who was looking decidedly nervous. She wasn't the only one who noticed apparently. Ever the archetypal Gryffindor, Hermione Granger was on them in an instant and it turned out to be far, far worse than the deputy headmistress had predicted.

"Alice. Who's that behind you?"

"Ah ... um ... Harriet?"

"Harriet."

"Mmmhmm."

"Harriet what, Alice?"

Hermione watched the shifty eyed nutter shuffling her feet while mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'schloppers'. From behind her a pretty, green eyed girl with black hair and a familiar shaped face peeked around Alice's shoulder while gripping on to her protector's dress tightly. It was then that she saw the scar on her forehead.

"For God's sake. That's Harry Potter isn't it. What did you do to him?"

"I was just ... you know ... experimenting."

"Well put him back to how he was."

"Yeah ... soooo ... there's a teensy problem with that. I may or may not have slightly blown up part of the potions lab ... and all of my notes on how I did this."

Heads in hands Hermione Granger and Minerva MacGonnagal groaned in unison and wondered together just why it was that Alice was so determined to make life so bloody difficult for them. Thankfully the boy-who-lived, girl-who-lived (?) didn't look particularly unhappy with her situation, but still. That really wasn't the point.

"Fucking hell Alice, you're such a psycho."

The raven haired lunatic cheerfully nodded in agreement, sat down, pulled the newly minted 'Harriet' on to her lap and reached for the teapot. Hermione watched the ex-boy-who-lived go a very pretty shade of red under the attentions of an obviously enamoured Alice and looked down quickly to hide her smile.

 **Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 10.00 p.m.**

Susan Bones walked through the scarred and blackened corriors of the Ministry with a purposeful stride. She had come, with Alice's blessing and permission, to make sure that her Auntie was safe and also to help out if she could. Although quite when she had started asking Alice Black for permission every time that she wanted to do something personal was causing her to pause slightly. It was true that the girl did have a very commanding presence when she wasn't too busy fucking either Ginny or Padma. That and she was incredibly beautiful. Mad as a box of frogs mind, but definitely beautiful. She was still deep in thought as to what insane legislation Alice would pass if she were somehow to find herself in power and snorting at the idea of rabbits being compulsory companions for all Ministry employees when she reached the door to the Minister's office. Barging in without so much as a knock, Susan came face to face with Bellatrix Black, clad only in torn lace and on all fours on the Minister's desk being pounded from behind by her Aunt Amelia.

"Oh my God, that's just scarred me for the rest of my life."

"Uh ... uh ... Hi Suzie ... uh ... oh yes Amy right there."

The thought of trying to hold a conversation with Alice's, very naked, mum while she was getting seriously fucked by her Aunt Amelia was not exactly high on Susan Bones' list things to do today. Although Bellatrix seemed quite happy to chat, but then she was almost as insane as Alice so that didn't really count. The fact that her, surprisingly perky for a woman of her age, tits wobbled delightfully and swung towards Susan every time Auntie thrusted into her wasn't helping either. Suppressing her gag reflex at the sight of the woman who had basically raised her having noisy, enthusiastic and rather _rough_ sex with the former Death Eater and Azkaban inmate, she backed slowly out of the office.

"Oooookay, I'll just come back later then."

Much, much later.

Closing the door firmly and locking it behind her Susan put her head in her hands and tried very hard not to vomit. It was her own stupid fault for not knocking first she supposed as she cast a silencing charm on the door to try and block out the grunts and screams that were still emanating from within the confines of the Minister's office.

"Euwww. Just. Euwww."

 **The Dining Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 1st November 1996.**

The manor was full to bursting and breakfast, therefore, was a rather lively affair. Last night's party was quite restrained in relation to most of the soirees that had occurred in the Black homestead, probably due to the long and stressfull day that had preceeded it. Everyone was tired and all of them had retired fairly early. Which made for an extremely upbeat and rowdy morning meal.

All of the SHAGS club girls with their families, the Weasleys, the Delacours and of course every Black were in attendance. There were also some more surprising guests. The Moons and the Parkinsons were sitting stiffly and uncomfortably amongst half bloods, mudbloods, creatures and foreigners, their distaste for the company hidden behind well practiced masks. Of course the sheer amount of old money heiresses and politcal power players in the room was enough for them to put aside their prejudices for the sake of being in at the ground floor of, what was obviously going to be, the new administration. They had even sacrificed their daughters to the cause, although since the girls would be marrying each other it really only served to tie their houses together more closely. They could have happily forgone Bellatrix Black's un-necessarily in depth description of how children could be achieved in such a union but otherwise it was a pretty successful, if distasteful, visit.

All conversation stopped as Alice made a late appearance at the morning meal. Every eye took in the grinning teenager and understood precisely why she was so tardy today, seeing the three tired, dishevelled young witches trailing in her wake, smiling and yawning. The Lady of the house and her wife thumped down in their chairs at the head of the table and each of them pulled a blushing, black haired witch on to their respective laps before reaching for the food that instantaneously appeared in front of them. After a little coaxing the green eyed girl on Alice's lap finally accepted being fed by her hostess to a chorus of 'aaws' from the table in general. She was of the opinion that Harry made an absolutely adorable girl and was certainly not going to be in any rush to turn her back and to be fair the former boy-who-lived seemed far happier than when 'she' had been a 'he'. Though the copious amount and adventurous nature of Alice, Ginny and Padma's sex life, into which she had been fully integrated last night, may have had some bearing on that.

"So now that the Dark Wanker's dead, what's next Alice."

Cassius Parkinson nearly spat out his sausage at both the question from Andromeda Black and at her charactersation of Voldemort.

"Now we take over the Wizangamot and see if we can't make the monkeys dance."

This time the sausage made it out of his mouth and into the middle of the table. While the rest of the people in the dining room snorted and laughed, Cassius' wife smiled sweetly and stabbed him in the thigh with her fork. The stupid git was supposed to be a Slytherin. If he couldn't keep his emotions under control the Blacks would kill them before the day was even half way done. She had no illusions about what would befall anyone that got in the way of the Black Princess' plans, or pissed her off in any way at all really. Just look at what had happened to the Dark Lord. If he wasn't able to tame Alice Black what chance did they have.

 **Wizangamot Chamber, Ministry of Magic, London. Deceber 21st 1996.**

From her position high above the chamber the raven haired girl with the odd coloured eyes held her hands loosely on the arms of her throne and allowed a creepy, devious smile cross her perfect, rosebud lips. She considered her journey from prisoner in a secure psychiatric hospital to her current position as Head of an ancient magical family and the most politically powerful witch in Britain. Alice giggled to herself as she picked up the name plate from her side table and stroking the brushed brass whille she admired it.

Lady Alicia Morgana Black; Supreme Mugwump and Chief Witch.

Dumbledore's retirement from both of these posts as well as the headship of Hogwarts at this morning's meeting had come as a complete shock to everyone in the chamber whose name wasn't Black. It was just an incredible piece of 'luck' that Alice had been sworn in that very morning and had allowed herself to be persuaded by the venerable, if rather easily manipulated, members of the august institution to accept her ascension to the vacant offices. She had thought that there might be more candidates for the position but apparently nobody had wanted to run against her. Alice couldn't think why.

"Do you know Mouldy?"

The shrunken, eyeless skull of the former Dark Lord stared back at her lifelessly. She picked up the head, slipped her hand up into the cranial cavity and used her fingers to make the jaw go up and down so that it appeared that he was speaking back to her. Using a surprisingly accurate rendition of Voldemort's high, thin, wavery voice Alice proceeded to have a conversation with herself.

"No Alice. I haven't got a fucking clue."

"But I thought that you were supposed to be some all powerful, all knowing pure blooded Lord of the British Isles."

"Well I was until you cut my fucking head off, you mental lezzie bitch."

"Rude."

She slapped the top of the skull lightly with her free hand.

"Terribly sorry. Please forgive me, your majesty."

Hmmm. Yor majesty. She liked that. She liked that a lot. Alice wondered exactly how hard it would be to make the sheep of the Wizangamot vote her in as queen. Queen Alice. Oh yes, now that just sounded _right_. Besides just think of all the fun she and Ginny could have playing the 'naughty queen and the servant girls' with their pets, Padma and Harriet. Transfiguring her nameplate into a badge and pinning it to her favourite blue and red harlequin dress, the mentallist in chief of Wizarding Britain bounced her way down the steps in bunny hops, cackling insanely. She found herself suddenly rather keen to get home to her family.

 _"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me,_

 _Happy birthday, dear A-lice,_

 _Happy birthday to me."_

The off key singing reverberated around the cavernous space as Alice skipped happily across the empty chamber towards the exit. Forming up behind her and attempting not to wince at the terrible singing, the two nervous young female aurors that were to be her permanent bodyguards, gripped their wands and put put their game faces on. They were surprised when the, seemingly unconcerned, Alice executed a sharp one hundred and eighty degree turn and started chattering to them while while still skipping along. Albeit now backwards.

"Are you two coming to my birthday party?"

"We will be going everywhere with you my Lady. We're your honour guard."

"Oh goody. We are going to have such _fun_ together."

Emmeline Vance and Hestia Jones looked from their maniacally grinning young charge, who was now lightly clapping with obvious delight, to glance at each other and wondered just what the hell they had gotten themselves in to here. At least one thing was clear. Life in the service of the newly appointed Supreme Mugwump and Chief Witch of the Wizangamot, Lady Alice Black was never going to be dull. Completely breaking protocol to permit a confused smile to appear on her face Emmeline replied politely.

"Yes Ma'am."

 **So our little tale is complete. I may put up a short epilogue chapter some time over the weekend but we are basically done. I want to say a huge thank-you to everyone who has stuck with me on this journey, your support and encouragement have kept me going even when I didn't feel like carrying on. It was my first foray into writing for nearly thirty years and I have really enjoyed it. The good and the bad.**

 **I have decided to carry on Alice's adventures as she is just far too much of a fun character not to use again. However I will be taking a break from her to recharge my insanity batteries. Take a look at the epilogue as I'm going to use it to set up the next chapter of Alice's journey.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all. Especially the following;**

 **Pannthour - Awesome reviewer and PMer and my brand new unofficial beta for the about to be re-started 'Fortunate Son'.**

 **Boarador - Got me back to the keyboard when I was realy struggling with this fic.**

 **Kapuis - Never missed a chapter, always made me smile.**

 **There were many others but these three really pulled me through to the finish.**

 **Finally, I'm always happy to discuss my work, help out other writers, take writing prompts or just chat. I also want to write some more one shots so if you have any ideas or want to see something written just visit my profile page and hit the PM button.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


	29. Chapter 29

**I have decided to carry on Alice's adventures as she is just far too much of a fun character not to use again. However I will be taking a break from her to recharge my insanity batteries. This is kind of a bonus epilogue as I'm going to use it to set up the next chapter of Alice's journey.**

 **Now I am expecting a bit of hate mail here from any hardcore royalists among you for the first scene but I find that I just can't help myself. Now our lovely Queen turned ninety this year and has lived a life of, yes alright obscene luxury, but also dull service and dedication to her country. I've decided to give an insight into how I wish her life could have been were she as morally twisted as Alice.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**

 **((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))**

 **BLACK MADNESS**

 **CHAPTER 29. EPILOGUE.**

 **Private Family Reception Room, Windsor Castle. 21st June 1999. 11.00 a.m**

Tea duty. Hestia Jones thought that most people imagined the frequent tea parties held between the Black Queen of wizarding Britain and her muggle equivalent were unutterably dull and dreary affairs. They would never believe just how wrong they were. This was one of the most fun and entertaining assignments that she and her partner Emmeline Vance had as Alice Black's honour guards. The two aristocratic women were actually incredibly alike in private and these get togethers could become more than a little _raucous_ in nature.

It was quite a strange dynamic that existed between Queen Alice Black and Queen Ellizabeth the second. At first their relationship had been all business. The muggle sovereign had helped clean up Alice's less than stellar criminal record in her world and in return Alice had helped out with a particularly vicious gang of people traffickers who had been targeting the aristocracy. As time went on, however, they found themselves enjoying each other's company and revelling in chance to act like two normal people just having a nice time. Elizabeth hadn't had this much fun since the war when she had got to play with all those lovely, lonely WAAF girls. If people thought that the GIs gave out good presents for sexual favours they would have been horrified to know the things she had given away for a night of lust. There were still a couple of paste copies of some of the smaller of the nations Crown jewells tucked away in the Tower of London somewhere.

The Black Queen Alicia Morgana Black, or Alice, as she liked to be called was an utter delight and a real breath of fresh air and they had become firm friends, despite the age gap. Elizabeth felt like just another girl again around the insane, irreverent and disrespectful young lunatic and she was prepared to love and protect her fellow Queen just for that reason alone. Also she had the best stories.

Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor, Queen of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, and Head of the Commonwealth was giggling and snorting at the highly scandalous but highly amusing story that she was relating to her guest. She knew that she shouldn't but this stunningly beautiful, raven haired young woman with the strange eyes and the interesting dress sense was just _too_ amusing. Elizabeth would swear that the girl made a game out of trying to elicit such an indiscretion from her. Just as she seemed to do every time they met. Which was quite often. Although she thought that Alice's tales of her own multifarious indiscretions were far more outrageous than hers.

"Lizzie, you didn't."

"I most certainly did. Seeing him coming out of the ocean all wet and glistening in those tight, tight shorts was just too much of a temptation. I wanted him so I damned well had him. I am the Queen you know, Alice."

"And?"

"Fab-u-lous. Hung like a bloody horse, I was sore for days afterwards."

"Did he ask you to 'Shuck his co-ock your majeshty'."

"Why yesh. I believe he did ma'am."

The Rulers of magical and mundane Britain hooted and cackled at each other's piss poor (or should that be pish poor) impersonations of a young Sean Connery. Who the surprisingly dirty Lizzie had apparently fucked six ways to Sunday in Jamaica one memorable summer in 1962. Their respective bodyguards tried not to wince or smirk at the pair as they wiped at the tears that their hilarity had caused.

"Oh Lizzie, I do so enjoy our little get togethers. Even if you are an old pervert."

"Ah yes, I'm rather fond of them myself Alice. By the way, how _is_ dear Harriet."

Alice choked slightly on her tea. The older woman had such a subtly, wickedly and dangerously polite way of pointing out her hypocrisy. When the subject of perversion was on the table, Alice would always lose the argument. Message recieved and understood, loud and clear.

There was a small pop as her new Chief house elf appeared and a scramble of activity resulting in two wands and two firearms being pointed at the rather stupid looking bat eared individual. Kreacher had finally shuffled off his mortal coil three months ago at the grand old age of two hundred and ten and had requested that his protege, Dopey, be given the honour of succeeding him. It was at this point that everybody had realised that the old elf was just as insane as his beloved mistress. The fact that Alice accepted this bequeathed appointment without even the merest hint of a pause surprised nobody. They all knew she was nuts.

"Sorry to interrupt, your Blackness."

"Hello Dopey dear, you know you really should stop doing that, it makes them very nervous."

He gazed vacantly at the scowling people holding weapons pointed at his head and nodded his head as if in deep thought. He wasn't of course but Miss Alice always seemed to apreciate it when he at least tried to look slightly more intelligent than a pickled cabbage. She really was the best mistress an elf could wish for. Now. He had come here for a reason. What was it? Laundry? No. Shopping? No. Oh yes.

"Mummy Black's butch missus wants to smash on your breasticles Miss Alice."

She took a moment to decipher the 'Dopey speak'.

"Amelia wants to see me. Do you know why?"

"She didn't say your Blackness, just that she wanted to come on you."

Alice sighed, disappointed that her fun vist with Lizzie would be cut short today for some, doubtless, dull and pointless politcal fidgy widgyness with the moron sheep, monkeys of the Wizangamot. Still if Bonesy couldn't take care of it herself that might mean that some physical persuasion may be required. That thought perked her up a bit.

"Right ho then. Lizzie, I'm sorry to cut this short today but it seems that something has come up that requires my _special_ attention."

"Thats alright Alice dear. Have fun and do try not to kill anyone where any of my lot can see."

"My place next time. Bye Liz."

The magical contingent apparated away leaving the muggle Queen chuckling into her teacup at her friend's total lack of decorum and disregard for the formalities of the Court. That Alice really was bloody good fun.

 **Ministry of magic, London. 22nd June 1999.**

The 'eyes only' report that had crossed the Minister's desk this morning was troubling Amelia Bones to a great extent. It seemed that no-one had seen their ambassador to the magical Unted States of America for nearly a week. She hadn't received the report until now because it wasn't uncommon for the silly old fool to wander off. Normally he would be back in a couple of days with a hangover, possibly a new tattoo and sometimes a muscular young man in tow. This time he had been gone a week and people were starting to get concerned. Albus Dumbledore was missing. And in the worst place possible in the entire contient of America.

"Good afternoon, Minister."

"Good afternoon, your Majesty."

The formalities out of the way the two women got down to business in their more usual style.

"So. What's up Bonesy?"

"There's a problem with Albus."

"For fucks sake. What's the beardy old weirdo done now? He hasn't deflowered another senator's first born son has he?"

"Not this time no. It looks like the old fool's been kidnapped."

The Minister of Magic watched the Black Queen's shoulders sag as she face palmed herself. She was aware that Alice had a bit of a soft spot for the old man, despite the fact that he had tried to kill Harry Potter, or Harriet Potter consort to the Royal House of Black as she now was, but that didn't make him any less of a liability. In fact Albus was not above using his relationship with her to make certain difficulties, that his proclivities for sweet, good looking young men to warm his bed, made disappear with the mere mention of her name. This time, however, the old man had gotten in over his head. He was probably relying on Alice to come swooping in and save the day like some sort of magical superhero. Unfortunately this time even the dreaded Black Queen might struggle. This time even she might be in over her head due to where he was when he was abducted.

The daft old bugger had got himself kidnapped in the underworld stronghold and armpit of America. The one and only Gotham City.

 **The Throne Room, Black Manor, Suffolk. 24th June 1999.**

The two imposing, gilded chairs had been placed specifically to cause anyone that approached in supplication or official business to gaze up at their occupants in the awe and respect that they commanded. Alice and Ginevra Black, Queens of their world surveyed the gathering of family and friends. Their unofficial war council. This included about half of the old SHAGS club members and the entire Black family. Including her new step mum. Amelia had finally made in honest woman out of Bellatrix last month. Well okay she had married her and Bella didn't fuck around quite so much now.

Surprisingly it was Alice's Aunt Narcissa, wo hadnever been out of the country before two years ago, that had the most detailed information about their target destination.

"You've been to Gotham?"

"Yes, Selly and I visited right after my ... transformation."

Cissy looked guiltily at her elder sister Andromeda, who was simply glaring at her. The subject of her turning had caused a rather large argument between the two and even after almost two years it seemed that she wasn't quite forgiven yet.

"So I take it that you and Selene going there to retrieve grandpa whiskers is not going to be an option."

"Ummm. We did make rather a mess so. No, probably not."

Alice smirked and winked at her blonde haired Aunt to show that she didn't really care while reaching down to scoop up the nearly two year old tearaway that had just come running into her throne room and collided with her leg. She held the little girl in her lap and the two regarded each other seriously before, to the child's delight, Alice cocked her head and grinned her most insane grin.

"Bap Bap."

"Well hello my little Lolly. Have you come to give us your wisdom and advice?"

Lola Tonks-Black grinned back at her mad Auntie Alice and said the only word currently in her vocabulary.

"Bap."

"Really little one. Do you think so?"

"Bap."

"Well alright then, I'll tell them, but they're not going to be happy about it, you know."

An out of breath Penelope Clearwater arrived in the large space in time to see her and Nym's unplanned but adored daughter chatting and giggling with Alice on her throne and smiled. Lolly always ran to find the Black Queen when she had done something bad, almost as if she knew that Alice would be far more likely to praise her for bad behaviour than to scold her for it. Watching the two 'conversing' now she thought how lucky she was to be a part of this amazing family. Alice's next statement wiped that smile right off her face. Along with almost everyone else's.

"My advisor and I have decided that I shall be the one who goes to get 'Albers the perv' out of whatever trouble that he's managed to find himself in." She leaned down to her 'niece' and asked conspiratorially. "That's right isn't it?"

"Bap."

"Quite so. There you have it."

Hermione Lovegood decided that it was time to put her oar into Alice's troubled waters, so to speak, and cleared her throat loudly. All argument, all protestation, all noise ceased instantly. The, considerably less bushy haired than she had onc been, scarilly intelligent young witch was possibly the only person in the country who could manage to challenge a decision once Queen Alice had made it. She gave her old friend 'the look'.

"Alicia Morgana Black, you are this country's Queen. You have responsibilities, you cannot simply go swanning off to America on half arsed rescue missions for old men who should know better."

The raven haired sovereign blinked her suddenly large, tearful, eyes and gave a pout, knowing exactly how cute it was and exactly how much it affected Hermione.

"But Mia, it's just a holiday. I haven't had any time off in ages and I' m sooooo tired. You wouldn't deny me a holiday would you?"

Hermione, the strong willed lieutenant of the Black Tank Corps, buckled before Alice's onslaught of cuteness. Damn the woman she always bloody did this.

"Well I suppose if it was a holiday it wouldn't be too bad."

"Exactly Mia, and it's not like I'll be going alone."

Fuck. She closed her eyes and shook her head, sighing.

"Let me guess. I'm coming too."

Alice and her small, cuddly companion giggled together as she nodded her agreement. She flicked her eyes to her wife to silently ask if it was okay and receiving a small smile from the ginger beauty to signal that, yes, she was okay with it, Alice began to make her plans. She, Mia, Hestia and Emmeline were going on trip to rescue a strange old man from the criminal element of Gotham City and woe betide anyone who got in their way. It was a bit of a relief really. Things were alltogether too quiet in magical Britain right now and she hadn't gotten to kill anybody in simply months. She was frustrated.

"Dopey dear, be a love and polish up my axe, would you. We're going on holday."

And the streets of Gotham would run red with the blood of her enemies.

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 **So it's going to be a couple of months before we get going on the sequel but I thought you'd enjoy a little teaser for it. I hope you guys are looking forward to it as much as I am.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.**

 **As before, I'm always happy to discuss my work, help out other writers, take writing prompts or just chat. I also want to write some more one shots so if you have any ideas or want to see something written just visit my profile page and hit the PM button. I am availlable for beta work if anyone is struggling.**

 **Dylan the Rabbit. xx**


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